First trap your troll... Stuff it into that old puppy cage yer friend lent you when the cat had a busted leg. Then, after careful scrubbing, take:
1 lb. strong white flour
1 heaped tablespoon cocoa powder
1 level teaspoon salt
1 heaped tablespoon sugar a goodly handful of chocolate chips ½ pint (10 fl oz) of milk (full or semi) warmed to about baby feeding temperature
1 oz fresh yeast or 1 sachet of instant a little milk & egg wash to glaze poppy seed to sprinkle
2 lb. loaf tin or baking sheet
Take about 3 tablespoons milk and the sugar and cream together to activate the yeast, or mix all the dry ingredients together. Add the milk (and yeast mix) and combine all together. Kneed into a smooth pliable dough (about 10 minutes is excellent). Leave to rise for a while in a warm place.
When doubled in size, knock back and shape to fit the tin. Leave to rise again, and when half risen, brush with the egg & milk wash and sprinkle with the poppy seeds.
Bake at 220C for 30 ? 35 minutes.
Eat warm, in inch thick slices, slathered in butter, crouched down in front of the troll cage. Stay out of reach of claws stuck through the bars...