Update on my story

Kathleen, I read your story and wish everyone joy in the discovery of new family. What you did in 1971 was very personal to you, and after all this time it is still sensitive. That is something a partner has to to understand, but unfortunately it doesn't happen like that sometimes. You can only share what you are comfortable sharing, and if it is bits and pieces, then it is.

I hope that your husband will come to see how finding your son has given you a new excitement, and peace of mind, and he will accept it all. Give him some time. As exciting as it is for you, it is a shock for him.

G> DH and I talked about it this evening. I was wrong about how he felt

This is so hard. Kathleen, I will pray for you and for all your family.

I am so happy for you to have found your son. It was a wonderful gift of love on your part when you let him go. I am glad you arre able to see what a gift it was by seeing the man he is today. I will pray for you and your family as you work on adding him and his family to yours.

Men just don't react to problems or situations as women do. You are thinking of your son and his family and how wonderful it is to have them in your life; your husband is probably thinking of your son's father. Sorry, but that is just how men are; never right or wrong, just that their minds are made differently than ours. They have a difficult time understanding that women don't stay in love forever with a man just because she's had his child. The absence of love is not hate, it is indifference.

Once your husband is reassured he is the only man you love, the only man you care about, and the only man you want to spend the rest of your life with, he'll probably be fine. How long will that take? Each man has his own timeframe. I do know they often say everything is okay and they understand long before it really is and they really do. Perhaps he just needs to know there isn't another man on the face of this earth with whom you'd rather share this wonderful news, and you'll tell him what you can.

You have my best wishes, Kathleen, for understanding and support from your husband, for a new relationship with your newly found son, for a wonderful relationship with your grandchildren. None of this will be perfect because God doesn't make perfect people, and relationships take work, but I do pray all of this will be truly positive for all of you.

I hope your story has a happy ending. This kind of discovery can be handled in so many different ways. We have a family story going on right now.

My Son in law never met his father because he left before SIL has any memory of him. During his life, he was pretty much given non answers by his mother. Now, at age 27, he managed to locate the man through internet research.

His father is receptive to a relationship, as is his wife. His teenage children are a little more gobsmacked and unsure. Happily, SIL got to meet his father this week. Both related their fear that the other wouldn't show. The father even arranged for a special cake to welcome SIL to the family!!

The real roadblock he hasn't leapt yet is telling his mother. She has all kinds of issues and may be bipolar, so he really isn't planning to tell her unless it becomes absolutely necessary. None of them live in the same cities, so it won't be that hard to keep a secret. His brother is keeping a child a secret from his mother due to these issues.

All in all, it is still a good thing they met no matter their future relationship. My SIL finally feels complete and he got answers to some medical questions. I hope you find the "completeness" with some kind of relationship you can all handle. It doesn't have to be daily face to face relationship, just what you all feel comfortable with. Moni ---- Posted via Pronews.com - Premium Corporate Usenet News Provider ----