Very OT - Key Lime Tree?

I am so very sorry, Connie. When I mentioned 'his' mother, I was only thinking of my own MIL who waited about 25 years before she decided I might be going to stay around and she might consider if I had any redeeming virtues. We laugh and cry about our own close Alzheimer's grief but it's mighty apparent that you have some not-so-secret problems to resolve. I hit a nerve with you and I truly didn't mean to. Alzheimer's and other problems that cause such painful grief for family and loved ones is mighty hard to bear. At Christmas, it's especially hard to never really get to say goodbye to loved ones whose hearts have left us. DH's sister and my sister's DH are alive and well . . . but they are already gone from knowing who we are and how dearly we love them. I understand. I wish I could help. Polly

"SewVeryCreative" *sigh*

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Polly))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry, Polly ... I really didn't mean to hurt you or open any wounds that you have!! You, your hubby, and your BIL & SIL are in my prayers!!!!

But, my MIL doesn't have Alzheimers (that we know of) ... she's always been this way. Family friends tell us stories of how she's done things and then blamed them on other people. One time, while in front of dinner guests, she slammed her face with the fridge door (on purpose, apparently) and then turned to her guests and told them that my FIL did it. And even went to the police the next day and tried to get him arrested for abuse. Luckily, they talked to the guests that night and found out the real story ... otherwise, a very kind man could have gone to jail. :(

The best we can figure out is that she's bipolar and suffering from delusions. And unfortunately, we're the only family left that will have anything to do with her. She used to viciously abuse my SIL, who has a restraining order against her. She tormented her sister (the one she was "close to") as her BIL lay dying from colon cancer. She has sued my FIL at least 15 times since their divorce 30 years ago. We also went for nearly a year without speaking to her because immediately after she found out that my FIL (who raised my hubby when she was deemed an "unfit mother" by the courts and whom he was VERY close to) passed away (July of last year), she called my hubby and told him that "he was roasting in Hell." - and a few other choice, cruel words that I just won't repeat.

I appreciate your sympathy, but the person who deserves the most sympathy is my hubby ... with his dad gone, he desperately needs a relationship with her. The same man who's always been so strong for everyone else cries about this. His mother is just .... well, hateful. I hate saying that about another person, but she's just always been that way. Every time that we see her, we never know what she's going to say or who she's going to hurt (with her words). It's so stressful to him when all he wants is to have a relationship with her. Even though she's called him "a worthless son" and "the abortion she should have gotten" he still tries to keep her in the family.

My hubby, as much as I teased him with those stories I told ya'll about him, is such a wonderful, kind, loving soul. He would die for a complete stranger. And he truly deserves so much better. So, please feel sorry for him ... she may drive me insane, she may even spread hateful stories about me (which she *has* done), and she may even call the police on me (which she's done as well) ... but she's not *my* mother. Hubby is suffering far more than I ever could and she is hurting him far more than she could ever hurt me. :(

Really, though, I do appreciate your kindness and your compassion ... but I don't deserve it. My hubby does. :(

And while we're at it, YOU deserve kindness and compassion ... I could never imagine going through what you're going through. God Bless you, Polly. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Polly))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))

Hugs always!! Connie