Hello all. I know that I have been quiet for the most part. The day after my birthday my husband told me that he loved me but wanted a divorce. Needless to say it's been a very hard several months. I think in the beginning I just hoped that he would change his mind. It has become more apparent with each passing day that he isn't going to.
Sooooo, I applied for a morgage and am now house hunting. I have spent the last several days looking and will look again tomorrow. I am having to empty out a retirement account to have the money to put down on a house and furnish it. I want to take very little with me. I plan to take the sentimental items, my crafts, son and the pets. Oh and the new washer and dryer and that's it.
I am not sure how I feel. I alternate between feeling terribly betrayed and panicky that I can't do this. I feel like now that I'm "defective" (the knee) he doesn't want me anymore, what happened to in sickness and health? He hasn't said this, he gives really no plausible reason. (think he's going through a mid-life crisis?) So, I have been job hunting as well, hoping for find something with one of the cities around here so I will have health insurance as I will be losing that. I can survive with just my disability check but not if I have to pay for health care.
This was supposed to be a really great time in our lives. The youngest son turns 18 in just a few days, and will graduate the end of the school year. We have a little money and we had talked about traveling a bit and seeing where we wanted to spend our retirement. It just sucks! Now what, I just want to scream!
Right now I just take one day at a time and get through it the best that I can. Thank you for letting me explain and vent a bit.