Living with mistakes

On Sat, 12 Mar 2005 08:50:35 -0800, Daniel spun a yarn about:

Ohhhhhh, Daniel, it happens to all of us, and usually only *ourselves* even recognize our mistakes... but I *DO* commisserate and empathize, especially as a fellow perfectionist! Noreen

Helen "Halla" Fleischer, Fantasy & Fiber Artist

As a fellow perfectionist, I congratulate you on choosing to live with it. I know it is not easy.

Daniel, it sounds like you have dealt with your situation just right. In developing software we have a saying. "Its not a bug, its a feature." We are only half joking when we say this.

I also comfort myself often with the concept of many indigenous peoples that one should build a flaw into any creation so as not to anger the gods by being perfect. I find that I seldom have to purposely build in a mistake -- at least one usually happens that is too small to be worth fixing.

Part of the joy of handcrafting is that it is a human endeavor. Humans are rarely perfect. Enjoy your project as a beautiful, unique work.

Pru

I once left out a row on a pattern where it should have made a much bigger difference that one row more or less of a color. It was a pattern stitch, and one repeat was missing a row. I thought it was glaringly obvious, so I put it away instead of giving it as a gift. A while later I took it back out and couldn't find the place where the row was missing. Finally, I sat and counted the rows in each repeat and so I found it. Then I realized that it wasn't at all obvious and gave it as a gift to someone else.

Daniel , in the Middle East ,[where i live], it is a tradition to make a mistake on purpose ,,, to show that you are Human ,,,, Many a times omly you will know that there is a mistake ,, and thus it is really not a big deal , only a little Heart jump , i once had a mistake like this ,,, and saw it only after 300 hundred rows ,,, my solution ,,, i embroidered some nice thing over the mistakem line and a matching one the other side ,,,, Than it stopped botheing me . mirjam

Yes, I have some beautiful dresser scarves from Turkey, and they all have a little "error" in them, either color or a shape. I love them! And a shirt I got in Senegal is made from a one way fabric, but one pocket is upsidedown. I just use that philosophy when I goof and I feel much better. (Of course with a dropped stitch... my usual error... you can just go back down to it with a crochet hook and ladder it on back up to where you are.) Kira

Daniel - great work ! you have discovered how a lot of us who try to be perfectionists hide our occasional ( occasional?) folly. God Bless Gwen

Hi

I have to say congratulations on accepting the mistake and living with it. I am like you and am a perfectionist and get very upset when I discover a mistake. Yes I think it's great you are living with it and yes it's now your pattern and a design change.

I have a cross-stitch instructor that always says that only the maker wil know of the mistake as no one will compare the pattern with the finished product.

Darlene in Toronto

What a great way you all have of looking at things. Imagine making a mistake on purpose out of love and respect for God.

Daniel

Like many others, I prefer to think of it as "inadvertant creativity." And the poncho I am working on has a few places...that only I know about. Anyway, I want it to be unique!

And as far as perfection: A woman I know was horrified and shocked when I told her that I do NOT want to be perfect. I explained that it is because I am to lazy and it takes to much responsibility. I want to enjoy life not stess it.

And BTW, I think it is marvelous that mistakes are deliberatly put in. It keeps ones perspective level.

There's an adage regarding embroidery that I picked up on RCTN, but it works well for most crafts:

A novice embroiderer doesn't know a mistake's been made. An intermediate embroiderer knows a mistake's been made, and goes back to correct it. An expert embroiderer knows a mistake's been made, and figures out how to work around it.

So I guess it's not whether we make mistakes, but the way we deal with them that determines our level of expertise:-)

Jacqueline

I used to be a perfectionist, but a lovely lady told me that there is not enough time in life to be perfect in everything I do. She said "just relax and do your best", that I would achieve more in my life and enjoy my work.

I have allowed that advice to 'sink in', and now recognise perfectionism to be a severe form of self-abuse :) Although we use the word profusely, few of us have ever witnessed, let alone achieved perfection in our lives.

I now view a mistake as an opportunity for creativity and individuality.

Jean

Daniel wrote:

Hi Everyone,

I too used to frog a mistake, but now I don't. I know where it is, but no one else does. If they copied what I had done, it would be wrong and would be hard for them to work it out like I did. I've done the crocheted pineapple afghan and it has a mistake in it that I know where it is, but it's hard to notice and didn't throw off the design at all.

Hugs,

Nora

I know exactly how you feel. When I made myself a skull cap a few weeks ago I accidentally purled some knit stitches and knit some purl stitches all the way across one of the four dp's I was knitting on..... It was on the second row of ribbing and I didn't notice it until I'd already knit a whole inch and a half of the ribbing.... and I was not about to attempt ripping it back to my mistake. The cap is still great but I hated that I messed it up like that..... of course I'll probably be the only one who ever see's it.

--

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I think we have to practise to live with the mistakes; to be free from perfectionism! It is VERRRRRY difficult, I think! It is much more easy to develop to be a control freek!

I try to think:Now I've signed it! But if I shall give it away...? Aud ;-))

It seems that being a control freak implies that one knows there are mistakes, but that a major attempt to prevent them is being made in advance(generally in too forceful a manner), while accepting that there are mistakes seems to be thought of as a sign that things are "out of control," when it should really be taken as an acceptance of things beyond out control. In various areas, and also at various time, I can be either/or. Sure leads to some interesting self-discussions! ;-) (Fortunately, or unfortunately, my mistakes on the knitting machine are usually so glaring that it requires acknowledgement and repair: can't have huge runs down a sweater now, you know.)

-- Carey in MA (fading back after dropping her 2 pennies.....)