It was just another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse, on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue, when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, ''Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Krunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?'' Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn't help it, I grabbed her delicious Mounds, because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snicker and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream, ''Oh Henry, Oh Henry!'' Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars, giving her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, ''Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff.'' I said, ''Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?'' (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed, ''Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!'' as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden ... my Starburst! Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped ... Baby Ruth!
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One Pay-Day, Mr. Goodbar wanted to Skor, so he took Miss Hershey to the Pot O' Gold Motel on the corner of Aero & Fifth Avenue to show her some Twix. He began to feel her Mounds which was pure Almond Joy & it made her Tootsie Roll & made him want to Eat-More.
When he saw her Cherry Blossom, he gasped ''Sweet Marie, this is Wunderbar!''. She let out a Snicker as his Butterfinger went up her Kit-Kat & Caused a Milky Way. She Screamed ''Oh Henry'' as she grabbed his Big Turk & squeezed his M&M's. Miss Hershey said ''you are even better than the Three Musketeers!'' to which Mr. Goodbar replied ''when you are this good, they call you Mr. Big''. Soon she was a bit Chunky & Nine monthes later she had a Baby Ruth.