I know I can tell you guys

Karlera:

No words or wisdom for you, just I empathy. I know what it is like to have friends/family that are angry at you and mentally ill. I'm sure you will get through it just fine. I'm not a patient person, so I know how frustrating it can be.

Lara

PS - does it help to tell you I voted for you for ISGB RD??

Kalera wrote:

Kalera, I am waving my wand and wafting good vibes to you across the pond. May all your turmoil cease very soon and you get back on an even keel. Love and hugs Shirley

In message , Kalera writes

Hi Kalera,

I'm so sorry this is falling on you. As another of your mentally ill friends, I'd like to give you some perspective. It's not your job to walk on egg shells around them. All they have a right to is reasonable courtesy and some added flexibility -- including (I hope) greater generosity when they ask your pardon for flawed responses.

If they, or I, have a problem, we have to see a mental health professional -- not expect our friends to relieve us of doing that mental health work. If you give them consistent reasonable responses, you set boundaries for your self and your own health, and also help them with determining proper boundaries. This is not only the healthiest thing you can do for yourself, but also for them.

I have always seen you as a generous but also self-respecting person. As kind as you reasonably can be. A great sense of humor. Also a lively sense of fairness and sometimes outrage.

I'm quite sure you are behaving well, so don't let anyone convince you differently.

Love ya.

Tina

Sorry to hear things are going that way for you, I have sympathy too. It's really worth learning, in that situation, not to feel responsible for mental illness or chemistry induced reactions the way you would normal ones. I mean you should listen for any real feedback in what they are saying but don't take on responsibility for other's irrational anger that is just free floating, if that makes sense. It actually helps both you and the other person, if you can do it.

Ingrid

What Tina said!

You're responsible for yourself, and you can only do what you can do. If people require special treatment then they also owe you the duty of not making you give them what they should do for themselves.

-Su

Kalera,

As they say in Alanon: You didn't cause it You can't cure it and You can't control it

Oh Kalera...sending you big hugs and much empathy. I've been struggling with the same issues for about 10 years now, ever since I moved to FLA.

If you want to talk..I'm just a phone call away. Seriously - anytime.

Barbara

((((((((((((Kalera)))))))))))))) We are your friends, too. We are here for you. All I can say, is that sometimes life is very hard. You just have to hang in there and trust that things will get better, because they WILL, but when you are going through something like this, the days can become endless. I am certain that you did the best you could. Remember, you are not a mental health professional and your friends, be they ill or not, should not expect you to act like one. You have a right to your feelings. OK, take good care of yourself!! Go out to lunch, go have some great coffee or tea, or even better, a few drinks. Take a hot bubble bath. Go to the movies - great visual stimulii and a good break. You can call me any time you need to talk, seriously. My phone number is on my website. Most of all, try not to let your friends' problems overwhelm you. If they are truly your friends, than they will get over it. If they don't, it's their loss, not yours.

Patti

Oh, Kalera....you may not be looking for sympathy, but you're gonna get some anyway. Being burned out is really a hard thing to get over. You need a vacation, honey!! Wish I had the time to come and visit you!

Kalera, we have a saying pinned up in the office, it says, "no one knows it all," and my other favorite is "we are mere mortals" In my job I often get drained from other peoples' problems, 160/180 pupils pass through my hands each day. Many problems are teenage ones but what can you say to a boy, already ill with lung problems, whose house has burnt down and whose brother was killed. A big hug, with his permission, seems inadequate but showed I was there for him.You have tried being there for your friends now they need to give you space.

We are here for you in many small ways, hugs, thoughts and understanding. I am lucky to live on a farm, with space away from people. I hope you have the space to create and enjoy being you. There is always a holiday here for you and family if you can make it.

Cheers, Jan

Kalera,

This string of posts shows just how valued and respected you are among your peers; I'd take a lot of comfort in that. You don't really need advice; you know what's going on, so just take some time for yourself, as others have said. There's been so much going on for you right now that if you made a mis-step, it would certainly be understandable. Friendship is a two-way street, though folks sometimes forget that and expect always to be on the taking side.

Your life is upside down with new people in the studio, Breezy with her baby, the house--how is the house going?--and everything else. Give yourself a break. Take a deep breath of that Pacific Northwest air and be thankful, if you can manage it, that when all else fails, you always have the code committee!

Nolly

Kalera -- I like you human. Please don't change.

Becki

same here, have some hugs sent from Hawaii.

- problem with vacations is that you have to catch up from them. I can't really say I caught up from our 2004 3 weeks away summer vacation yet. -

Maren (funny, I feel this about r.c.b. being closer than friends too.)

Dearest Kalera;

You have always been a ray of sunshine on this forum, you are a kind, artistic, talented and wonderful woman! I sure wish you were my neighbor I would be begging you to come and work at the torch with me! I feel privileged to know you from RCB and I hope that some day we can meet in person so I can give you a big hug and thank you for just being you!

I hope you will be kind to yourself and know that you are loved here.

Hugs Denise

And I'm so stupid!! I still have things here to send you. >bashing self on head with hammer<

YES. It always gets easier. I MISS YOU TOO, really a lot. I think of you many times each day. It WILL get EASIER. It ALWAYS does. I wish you were here right now, you know what I'd do. Give you all the pillows and a patchwork quilt, set you up a massage with Jeffie, make tea or pour booze and talk and talk and talk (actually, I'd listen), even force you to hear Kevin's WORST jokes. Your damn birthday presents are sitting here right now! CRAP -- I went and mailed something to BECKI instead today! >bopping self in face with wrench<

Sweetie, there are so many mentally ill people out there (and in here

-- talking about my head, not RCB) that you're bound to make 'em mad sooner or later. You KNOW you can vent via email, and long long long ones, in my inbox any time and every time and over and over again.

IT WILL GET EASIER. You have my absolute guarantee > I am having a hard, hard time right now. I'm not really looking for