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When did they originate? Why did they originate? And most important ... why do men button from right to left and women from left to right? Intriguing questions ... eh wot?
So ... let's start with origins. How does 2000 B.C. in Southern Asia sound? At that time they were not used to close shirts. Rather ... they were ornamental. Pins and belts were enough to keep one's shirt on. Early Greeks and Romans used them to decorate their tunics and togas and capes. They were elaborate pieces of jewelry. Carved ivory. Gold studded with jewels.
And then more expensive fabrics entered the picture. And pins began to ruin the material. And so buttonholes were invented in order to accommodate the buttons which now began to hold the clothing in place. And the rage began. Fashion and pragmatism united to form excess. Buttons down the front. Buttons along the sleeve. Buttons down the legs. King Francis I of France ordered 13,400 buttons of gold which were to be sewn into one velvet garment.
13,400 buttons? Ye gads. You want to talk status symbols. Francis could have taught all of us a thing or two.But the great conundrum was yet to be solved. Modern scholars pondered ... as well as many everyday man and woman. Why oh why do men button from right to left and women button from left to right? Is there a simple answer for this? If you have one, dear Benjamin, share your knowledge with us ... won't you?
Of course I will. Here's the story. The practice dates back to the fifteenth century. Men ... wherever they were ... on the battlefield ... in court ... quickly casting on their clothes after a quickie with the scullery maid ... they pretty much dressed themselves. And since they were ... for the most part ... right-handed ... they buttoned from right to left. Women on the other hand ... lived a life more filled with leisure and pampering. Those that could afford buttons ... did not dress themselves. Nay nay. They had servants dress them. And as these servants ... also for the most part right-handed ... facing the ladies while dressing them ... also buttoned from right to left. However ... right to left was a mirror image ... and the lady being dressed ended up with her buttons going from left to right. And the practice stuck ... and the tailors of the day complied with what had become tradition. And now you know ... and will surely sleep better this evening for the knowledge.
Of course ... there are intrinsic dangers that come with the wearing of buttons. Should you accidentally put a button into a hole it was not intended for ... misfortune will occur that very day. Find a button ... you'll find a new friend. And of course ... most important if you want to avoid disaster in life ... only button an odd number of buttons. You have a two button shirt ... only button one button. A three button ... do all three. And so on. So ... should you be attending a function one day ... and you see this slovenly dressed person with a button unbuttoned where it should be buttoned ... rethink you opinion of this person. He or she may well be extremely astute ... and is simply leaving one button open in order to avoid disaster. This ... as opposed to the nattily dressed, throw-caution-to-the-winds individuals who care more about fashion than personal security. We all know those types.
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And there ya have it. That's it for this week folks. Catch you all next week. Benjamin Mark
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