O.T. Three strikes

I'm back from keeping the economy stable, at least at the grocery level.

This time I agree. I'm sure many rich people are exactly as you describe this guy, and there's always "Paris" (Hilton I mean) to show that money doesn't always make for perfection. I worked in the National office of the largest women's volunteer group in the U.S. The National Board was made up of women who were mostly filthy rich. Some of them were great people who had it together and knew what to do with their money, whether it was personal or for charity, and then there were others who would have been miserable, unhappy people whether they were rich or poor.

I have a friend who isn't particularly rich, or particularly poor and I know that she spends half her time worrying about whether she's being taken by a sales clerk, or the government is going to come in and take away her freedom. She is the only one of us that will only allow direct deposit to the bank if there is no other choice (like with Social Security) because she's convinced she would never see her money, and prefers to always have a check mailed to her home. The same for automatic withdrawal for monthly bills, even those where the amount of payment doesn't change. Personally I think there are more important, and more interesting things to think about and this woman would be this way no matter what.

Money doesn't always prevent one from having problems, but it really doesn't create them. It's upbringing and maybe a little bit of paranoia that does that.

Lucille

At least my college friend didn't cut himself off. He did carefully screen those he let into his inner circle, but did let us in once we passed inspection.

It seems I passed inspection because in the first year I never once gave any indication that I recognized the last name (not one of the most-famous names that everyone would recognize as "rich", so he might have flown under the radar of someone who didn't read the philanthropy reports). He could've been Joe Schmo for all I cared.

Even when I admitted to knowing the name, I still treated him as "John"

-- didn't ask him did he know the GotBucks or the ReallyRiches to introduce me to their single sons, didn't ask for money, didn't expect him to always buy at the coffee shop because he could afford it.

By the time I admitted to knowing who he was, I had become a campus celebrity, and teased him that we didn't know whether the people who'd just tried to cozy up to us in the cafeteria line were coming on to my fame or to his grandfather's money. (Now, "John", tell me how you weed out the ones who just want to be famous-by-association.)

Well I am not so sure. Money sure can buy health in that it gives one a shot at preventing, limiting or curing an illness. So many people in this world struggle and do not even have the security of knowing when and if they will eat and live in terrible conditions. So I think money can buy happiness, it frees one from certain worries and struggles. I am certain that rich people have more happy moments than those who live in abject poverty. I think that the notion that money cannot buy happiness is a romantic myth. Can having money guarantee one will be happy probably not but having enough can certainly give one a excellent chance at happiness. Of course it depends on what one equates with happiness and what one considers having money. Ruby Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

He would be a hell of a lot unhappier if he were homeless. Ruby Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I suppose it depends how one defines happiness. I would think that definition might change depending on how much money one had. I think happiness is as sometimes money is for some people. That being the more you have the more you want. Are we confusing perfect happiness with having say more happy moments than unhappy moments in a week, a month, a year , a lifetime. I still think it is a romantic myth that money cannot buy happiness. ruby Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

As to me, I'm 100% sure that it won't ever create sadness, whereas the lack of money certainly can.

I have to admit that if I ever find myself unhappy, or paranoid, or whatever, I would prefer that I don't have to starve or live in the street at the same time.

Poverty stinks and nothing can make it better.

I view it every day. Poverty - or less than enough money to pay the bills and have enough left over for *some* fun - breeds contempt and a grinding down of the soul.

Like you, I have had it and also been without. I know what it's like on both sides of the fence. Having money certainly made my life more liveable.

Without a decent amount of money, you wear out mentally. Life becomes a grind. Your children become depressed from the weight of it all. Life is not fun. Alcoholism runs rampant, as does abuse. There's a hopelessness and general malaise that sets in. Your debt load becomes greater, and the fear every day of being able to provide becomes overwhelming.

Yep. I agree with you and Ruby. Take away a decent standard of living and you have a culture of woe.

Dianne

We have a saying over here When poverty comes through the door, Love flies out of the window.

Marriage is like a career it as to be worked at. There has to be a lot of give and take on both sides. My 52nd wedding anniversary is this year.

Shirley

I`m in agreement with you, Dianne, having just found the death certificate and newspaper report of my grandfather`s death - at the age of only 33. He was unable to work (having been a hard but poorly paid worker previously) due to a severe and debilitating illness. His wife (my grandmother) had been taken to hospital with tuberculosis, and they had three small children (My mother, aunt and uncle). In those days poor people had no telephones, antibiotics weren`t available. Had he been able to telephone his mother for help and support instead of having to write and await a reply he might have lived. Instead he cut his throat.

It made heartbreaking reading, and was previously unknown to me as my mother never spoke of it. We may moan about lack of money these days, but truly - we don`t know how fortunate we are!

Pat P

snip

I'll second that! Having money does not necessarily make one happy BUT it gives you access to resources to find something that may make you happy. If someone wants to go out to meet people who share the same interests, he/she has to have the extra cash available to do that. Even if you only want to go hiking and meet other hiking enthusiasts, you have to have a good enough car to get you to the trailhead and enough gas to put into the car. Rich may not be necessary, but not many would actually want to be so poor as to wonder if they should buy gas or buy food.

Obviously, and I keep reminding him of it when things start to overwhelm us, I would rather have DH without money than to have anyone else with money! :-)) I don't want to be filthy rich, I would just like enough money to pay the bills & to be able to tell the car guys to "OK, go ahead and do it" when they recommend a tune up or brakes or tires or whatever. :-)) Liz from Humbug

It is sad for anyone to always assume that people just want something from you.

We have all run into people who are selfish and can't think of anyone beyond themselves. Some of this sort even makes a show of doing "good works" or talks a good game, but in reality it's more about making themselves feel important than about helping anybody else.

And we have all met truly selfless individuals who are all about helping other people. They put themselves out there to lend whatever aid they can without expecting praise.

It is a shame when someone isolates themselves to protect against the former and never allows the latter type into their lives.

Money makes life easier, no doubt about it, but if protecting your money makes you miserable it doesn't seem like the best buy for the bucks!

Caryn

Now that I'm working fulltime again, and gone as many hours a week as Dude is, we have decided that we both need a wife! Someone to do the household stuff....thinking of the now extinct 50's style housewife here, not anyone from reality!

Caryn