OT: Story

I feel your pain! I spent twenty minutes trying to find a "beep" - not the smoke detectors, not any of the cell phones, not the washer.....

DD had turned on one of the "old cell phones" and it was the low battery warning. Got to get that thing to the drop off center for the shelter.

And two nights ago my cell phone went missing and it was set to "alarm only" it "pheeps" every five minutes......which means you can't call it to find it!

Cheryl

:P My husband went in to use the bathroom. He was in there for quite a while and every few moments, I would hear a long, low 'pffffffffft'. Now, for *me*, Husband + bathroom + 5+ minutes = possibility of funny noises. After quite a few 'pfffffffts', I holler in to him 'You okay?' 'Yes' he replied. About 3 more 'pfffffffffts' later, husband came out of the bathroom and sat down on the couch next to me. A couple of minutes later...'pfffffffft'. I looked at him, he looked at me and said 'That wasn't me.' A minute or two later, again, 'pffffffft'. I looked at him *again* and he said 'I SWEAR! It's not me.' Third 'pfffffft', he went searching and found his cell set on vibrate, announcing he had a voice mail every minute or so.

Tracey

I`m not laughing Brenda - we had that "Beep" for ages in the garage (DH can`t hear it!) and for a long time I thought it was the freezer. No - it turned out to be the carbon monoxide detector. The gas company wanted £20 to replace it (It said on it that you mustn`t remove the batteries and it was sealed anyway. Since it was only in the garage I threw it in the dustbin. Well the carbon monozide is never going to "get" us from in there - and it drove us nuts for almost a week, beeping away in the dustbin.

It soon stopped when I fished it out and killed it with a lump hammer!!! DH was in hysterics, the dog was just mystified. I felt much better!

By the way, the freezer is now beeping away merrily - when I opened it last week most of the contents more or less poured out. The Engineer`s coming tomorrow - together with the man to grind away a large tree-stump, and another man to deliver a pile of shingle, AND the man who`s going to completely redo our front garden! What`s the betting the man from the nursery delivers five young trees and shrubs at the same time? AND we`re expecting someone to deliver a wrought iron arch and an obelisk any time now.

Anyone got a nearby airport and a spare bed?

Pat

You can choose from Akron-Canton or Cleveland Hopkins Airports & plenty of sleeping space here!

Isn't it strange hoe the male of the species have an inordinate pride in loud bodily functions.?? I have watched it from age 2 until age 65+ (different males) and the same pride is there. The dog just looks very nonchalant while he odorises the air!

Gillian

Giggle!!!! Cheryl

DS, the darling child, will walk over, pass wind and walk away with such a look of pride while we asphyxiate.

You're welcome here, but it is winter!

Cheryl

Would you like to visit me? We were complaining today that it was a "mere" 71. :)

A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly; he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own f*#*ing blanket." After a moment of silence, he farted.

Yes, if only I could.

Cheryl

Not laughing - just grinning. What a lot of pain - just to not have to cook dinner....

Ellice - r,d, &h

Bring the obelisk, arch, and whatever. Dulles is 10 min away, and there are plenty of beds... And, you can have a furry footwarmer - he's very good about "lay down" meaning the end of the bed (though lately he's been carting pillows about).

ellice

ROFLMAO - this is so true. My normally gentle, teddy bear (except when he's on skates or in some kind of cleats) takes great pride in "melodious burping" . We're actually currently in a bicker over his use of the term melodious to describe some awfully, gurgly, noises that I termed disgusting. But, I knwe when I married him that I got a guy who regardless of interllectual bent (and Ivy League education) has spent most of his life with plenty of time in locker rooms. If you're not aware - I'm convinced that bodily funtion musicality is a mandatory course for all males that spend time in locker rooms. And you don't want to know about the bodily funtion size-o-meter, stink-o-meter, can-you-believe-this "guy" stories. And, age is no indication of it stopping - nor is the pro vs amateur status, with regard to either the locker room occupants and their sport, or the disgustingness of the entries into such topics of discussion and wonderment.

I can only say that I'm very happy to have more bathrooms than occupants in the house - including Puckster - and working hard on the ever gentle reminder after the boys have been missing a while "did you spray?" - referring to the Febreeze or Oust (I love that stuff). Gill - you're right about the dog - although ours looks back at you and only wants to poop if someone is watching as he looks over his shoulder, with his little eyebrows going up & down - waiting to hear good boy. For his entries in the stink contest - thank goodness they're few and far between - though we have shooed him off the bed and out of the room a couple of times when DH is laughing - it's not me - it's the dog...

ellice

Running joke in a house we rented when the kids were small was "Beep Beep Beep, Mommy's Cooking!"

Self cleaning oven tended to smoke, no matter how often you ran the cleaning cycle, so no matter what I put in there, some smoke got out and the detector was positioned exactly where the draft took the smoke. Darn thing went off almost every time I cooked! And of course, we just gave up and left the house during the self-clean cycle...since it was that or climb a ladder and remove the battery each time.

With the rebuild of the upstairs each bedroom now has it's own smoke detector, hardwired in, plus on battery backup. I would hate to have to figure out which one was the culprit if we had a situation like yours!

Caryn

ROFLMAO - not that our household is like that - DH is a regular radiator - though I do cover him because I keep the house cold in winter. As to the other -weee-eelllll....

ellice

Pat,

I'm near Dulles Airport and National Airport in DC. I have a nice sleepaway sofa you can use!

Plus, lots of local needleshops!

Caryn

Pat P wrote:

We`ve recently bought a couple of rather large AirWick timed fresh air sprays for the two bathrooms and they make us jump a mile in the night when they make a loud and VERY rude noise (just behind you) when they go off! It`s quite startling, particularly in the dark. Very effective, though.

Pat

LOL! Don`t tempt me, all of you - what a wonderful round trip it would be - AND a furry footwarmer to make me feel at home! I don`t mind the cold - can`t drink and don`t eat much, so I wouldn`t cost much to feed! Rather than the obelisk and arch I`d bring loads of chocolate from Thorntons and Marks and Spencer. It might get through customs more easily than the ironwork.

Oh well, it`s fun to dream!

Pat

I resemble that remark. Back when I was pregnant ... DH hadn't cleaned the stove after letting something boil over. I was boiling water to make Jell-O and set the alarm off. BIG family joke that Christmas--I'm such a bad cook I can set off the alarm just making Jell-O!