What are you stitching next?

It does seem to help to join some groups (preferably one engaged in something you find interesting!)

I've been blessed in that I know a lot of very active very elderly people. I suspect some of my interests are those of older people, which might partly explain it. But some people, if they keep their health and mobility, can keep a schedule that would exhaust someone half their age, and of course they have lots of social contacts. One woman who must be aroung 80 mentioned to me that she had a busy day coming up - among the things she was doing was giving a lift to some 'old ladies' who could no longer drive! I didn't ask how old the 'old ladies' were!

These people really inspire me, as do the the ones who can't get out, but are always friendly and cheerful when you visit.

Old age doesn't have to mean dying alone with all your property going to the state, which will probably euthanize your cats!

I'm holding on to that thought very hard!

Cheryl P.

Thank goodness for that.

One neighbor (a professor, so home at times during the day) will occasionally invite me in for a cup of tea if we're both outside at the same time. But the only time she actually comes over to ring my doorbell is (a) she's locked herself out and needs the spare key or (b) they've thrown a party for their colleagues and have a huge amount of food leftover that she wants to share.

I can deal with that ... but so often I'm not up to "coffee and a chat", and wouldn't want to offend people by sending them away twice a week because I need the rest more than the company.

An e-friend has just moved into a seniors/disabled apartment complex, and one of the neighbors has been bringing her a home-cooked breakfast every day. Good, in that she often doesn't feel up to cooking, bad because she often doesn't feel up to having company and feels guilty to just take the plate and close the door.

I have done that everywhere I lived, and in some places it was easier than others.

Actually, what I found, in going over the list, was that most of the people I wound up being friends with were also transplants from another state, rather than native Californians. In San Diego, a sizeable percentage of the population came from elsewhere (we had 12 military bases, which employed something on the order of 1/3 the population). Conversely, in Sacramento, we have a lot of fifth- and sixth-generation Californians (and proud of it), who seem to be of the opinion that they don't have time for new friends because they have plenty of family around to socialize with.

Whereas in San Diego, it was easy to rustle up a crowd of people who had nowhere else to go for family holidays, in Sacramento I could only ever get two people: a widowed elderly father and his chronically-unemployed

It has recently come to my attention that I am now old enough to partake of the events at the Senior Center (though I will likely be carded, since I'm still passing for 35!), so maybe on my better days I will go over there and see if I can develop some friendships with other people who have no one in town to talk to.

As far as dying alone and no one noticing, I think someone online will notice that Karen hasn't posted in a couple days, and there's someone in each genre of groups who has my phone number and/or an emergency contact phone number, and can call to find out what's up, and then pass the word through the community. Plus, AOL is now storing your address book online ... my best friend has been told that my mother knows my password in case of emergency; with that information she can sign on as me from her own home and e-mail my whole address book.

If I eliminated my kids, grandkids and great grandkids from the equation, I have masses of friends. I do things whereat I would be missed.

This woman had been predeceased by a mother, father and brother, years ago. She had prepaid her cremation and I went on line to the funeral home, there were precisely two condolences from people she had worked with at a government office. At 84 she likely retired 22 years ago and these two condolences were phrased in such a way that it did not appear they had seen her since her farewell do.

Had I known in time, because I fell heir to the cat, I would have gone to her funeral knowing there was nobody, so that the minister and organist did not have the sad task of nobody there. Years ago when I worked with CBC I went to the funeral of a girl from the switchboard (yes Virginia there really were live people who answered 'phones once upon a time) and was devastated to find myself the only person there. I was so glad I had gone, she was only in her 30s.

The only standards of implication that IME are generally

I like that, I shall produce that sometime when people least expect it lololol

Of course there is ! We have FHB in our family.

Sometimes too, even a condo will do. We have a party room and nearly nightly there are people doing god knows what in it. I sometimes see them all drifting down with their walkers and what not. Now that I come to think of it, I should see what they do there ! Could be something immoral, better check this out lol

I think Eric Bogsian wins that round though Bruce.

Indeed they are. You need to take something up, I took up bridge ! It really keeps the brain going and the social side is great. Now I am talking competitive bridge and I know you have a good club in St. Johns, I've met the woman who runs it at a tournament.

Ah if we could know the future, but would we really like it if we did?

Hey look, the cat made it !

That's because the cat found a kindly lady who wanted a pet and couldn't/wouldn't let a cat suffer.

How easy do you think it would be to find a kindly person who would be willing to take in a grouchy old lady? RD&H

Yes, I agree. But we had Pilot Officer Prune. Very, very British.

My gawd, you can't run fast enough squirt !

Well, if you insist, she can move in with me.

"Lucille" wrote >

I have a good friend who did this 2 years ago, while she and her DH (she is in her 70s, he his 80s) were both relatively fit and healthy. They love their place, which has a good balance of care and freedom. They particularly enjoy going down for dinner, when they sit with different people as often as they can, and so have gained a wide circle of acquaintances. I can imagine you being a bit like her, when she told me that the biggest adjustment was getting used to being around old people.

Dawne

"Lucille"

Gracious--I will have to ask my lovely DIL!! Dawne

Hee hee, my parents sent me to England to go to a 'good' public boarding school. It was hard and I hated every minute of it. It did give me a life lesson though, I have never taken authority at it's face value, I always question lol

Well I can think of one specifically, she is in her late 70s. She latched on to a man before his wife was cold in her grave. I cautioned her that was not a good thing but there she was, going to stay with him every weekend, doing his housework while there. Now the relationship is over, he is stepping out with someone else and she is bereft; to make it more poignant, it is a woman from the same set of condos as her. I can't see any good in it, anywhere. If you discount she did his housework !!! Arrrghghh !