My DH has passed away this morning

Hugs dear Laurnie.

Sally at the Seaside~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~uk

simpleseven wrote:

It's 3:30 p.m. and I'm awake and tears are running down my face. I know I should be trying to sleep, but I haven't been able to shut my eyes for very long. My eyes are swollen and hurt from all the crying I've done. I didn't know if any of my RCTQ family was up, but I don't feel so alone writing to you all. When I first went to bed I was cold, so I got up and turned up the heat. And my stomach hurt and I realized I really hadn't eaten a whole lot so I got up and ate a pudding. That seemed to settle my stomach and now I realized I was truly hungry and I know Terry wouldn't want me to be hungry. I heard him say to get a yogurt, so now I'm up eating a yogurt. They were his yogurt. I bought them for him, but he has never minded sharing with me, ever. My poor QI doesn't know what to think. He gets up with me everytime I get up. He hears my cries and wants to comfort me. I'm lost and the one person who was always able to comfort me isn't here. He's gone and I'm crying. I know he's in a better place, I know he's not suffering anymore and yet it doesn't make me hurt any less.

I thought I was going to lose my dad first, because he is terminal with lung cancer. I didn't know I was going to lose Terry first. It's like its a terrible dream and I can't wake up. I know Terry would still be with me if he could, but it was his time. And now I'm left here to pick up the pieces of my shattered life.

I wish I could be as brave as my son. He's nine going on 40! He cried at first. When we laid down, I asked him how he stops himself from crying. He said he just focuses on the good memories he shared with his dad. He is his fathers son and is a true blessing. I thank god I have him. And trust me I've tried what he said, but my mind travels back to the fact he's gone. He's gone. I want him back! I want him back so badly and the bad thing about it...its a selfish thought because I know Terry isn't suffering any longer. For those of you who don't know he's fought all his life with diabetes, then came down with this rare condition with his trachea and then to top it off, finally being paralyzed. I've seen him lose one thing after another. It was as painful to watch him and go through that with him as it is for me to lose him. He was just 43 years old.

I'm going to the dr. today to get something to help me get through this. I didn't want God to test me, to see how strong I truly am. But like always, I don't have a choice. Okay, I'm going to try to go lie down once again. And please if I didn't write that correctly, forgive and forget because life is way too short.

Launie, in mourning, in Oregon

Launie,

We are here for you. Please know that you can come to us at any time of the day or night and we will be here with the cyberhugs, the tissues and a comforting word. Your son is a truly remarkable young man, he is your continuous connection to Terry. Hold each other, talk to each other and cry with each other. Wrap both you and your son in Terry's favorite quilt and know that he has his arms around you both.

Hugs, and prayers are being sent your way.

Debbi in SO CA

simpleseven wrote:

thoughts and prayers to you and your family. . .

Linda PATCHogue, NY

Dear Launie, my heart is bleeding for you. Worries I have had seem so insignificant today. I am crying with you - and I don't really know either of you, or your brave little son; but the tears are heartfelt. Come and talk anytime you need to. There is always someone 'up' somewhere: from New Zealand and Australia, across Europe and across to the US. You will never be truly alone, in that sense anyway; and God will be with you through this. Don't beat yourself up about the apparently 'selfish' and 'needing' thoughts you will have. They are real and true, just as you showed your love for Terry with the care you gave him. . In message , simpleseven writes

Launie, I too am married to my soulmate, and my heart goes out to you. I'm glad you reached out to take our collective hand here on the group. We will not let go. And I believe that perhaps God is not testing you to see how strong you are. No. I believe he is sympathizing and holding your hand as well. However, He knows what must be done, and He does what He needs to do, when He needs to do it. And it was the time. But then He is there for us all the way through. And furthermore, because you have made it this far proves that you can make it. You HAVE made it this far! Amazing as it seems, you have. And we are always here, day and night. Keep coming back.

Karen, Queen of Squishies

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Launie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry for your loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

On Tue, 25 Nov 2008 20:33:24 -0600, simpleseven wrote (in article ):

((((HUGS)))

Hugs from IL - I'll be praying for you. Musicmaker

((((((((((((((((Launie and family)))))))))))))

{{{HUGS}}} Dear Launie

I know that there is nothing anyone can say that will make this easier. That part of this journey you will have to get thru on your own. If you can - let others take over the everyday simple things for you. There are more than enough decisions that you will have to make in the next few days to keep you busy, you shouldn't have to also decide things like "what's for supper".

I was where you are now about 8 years ago. Looking back, I'm glad family and friends stepped in. It allowed me time to grieve and time to spend with my son who had just turned 8. My DH was 46. I don't think children really understand unless they have already experienced someone close to them dying. It will be easier for him than for you, but at the same time he may stop asking questions and talking about his Dad if he thinks he is bringing you pain by talking about it. He needs to talk about it.

Life will go on. You will miss him everyday, but the pain will get less and the memories will help you get thru. I smiled when I read that Terry told you to get a yogurt. He will talk to you. Family thought I was losing it. Take care of yourself.

{{{Hugs}}}

Marilyn in Alberta, Canada

It's 3:30 p.m. and I'm awake and tears are running down my face. I know I should be trying to sleep, but I haven't been able to shut my eyes for very long. My eyes are swollen and hurt from all the crying I've done. I didn't know if any of my RCTQ family was up, but I don't feel so alone writing to you all. When I first went to bed I was cold, so I got up and turned up the heat. And my stomach hurt and I realized I really hadn't eaten a whole lot so I got up and ate a pudding. That seemed to settle my stomach and now I realized I was truly hungry and I know Terry wouldn't want me to be hungry. I heard him say to get a yogurt, so now I'm up eating a yogurt. They were his yogurt. I bought them for him, but he has never minded sharing with me, ever. My poor QI doesn't know what to think. He gets up with me everytime I get up. He hears my cries and wants to comfort me. I'm lost and the one person who was always able to comfort me isn't here. He's gone and I'm crying. I know he's in a better place, I know he's not suffering anymore and yet it doesn't make me hurt any less.

I thought I was going to lose my dad first, because he is terminal with lung cancer. I didn't know I was going to lose Terry first. It's like its a terrible dream and I can't wake up. I know Terry would still be with me if he could, but it was his time. And now I'm left here to pick up the pieces of my shattered life.

I wish I could be as brave as my son. He's nine going on 40! He cried at first. When we laid down, I asked him how he stops himself from crying. He said he just focuses on the good memories he shared with his dad. He is his fathers son and is a true blessing. I thank god I have him. And trust me I've tried what he said, but my mind travels back to the fact he's gone. He's gone. I want him back! I want him back so badly and the bad thing about it...its a selfish thought because I know Terry isn't suffering any longer. For those of you who don't know he's fought all his life with diabetes, then came down with this rare condition with his trachea and then to top it off, finally being paralyzed. I've seen him lose one thing after another. It was as painful to watch him and go through that with him as it is for me to lose him. He was just 43 years old.

I'm going to the dr. today to get something to help me get through this. I didn't want God to test me, to see how strong I truly am. But like always, I don't have a choice. Okay, I'm going to try to go lie down once again. And please if I didn't write that correctly, forgive and forget because life is way too short.

Launie, in mourning, in Oregon

Launie, So very sorry for your loss...bless you for being able to keep him at home. Hugs for you and your family. Lyn

{{{{{{{{{Launie}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Launie, I'm so sorry for your loss -- I know no words can lessen the impact, but I hope you know that we're thinking of you.

(((Launie))) Hold your memories and your son close. I only met your DH one time but both my DH and I were impressed with his strength in spite of his physical weakness. You are an amazingly strong woman as well. Your friends, family, and faith will get you thru this terrible time. God bless.

simpleseven wrote in news:d811cf00-e207-4713- snipped-for-privacy@u18g2000pro.googlegroups.com:

Oh Launie, If i had words to comfort you, i would say them.. If i was there, i would hold you gently.. If i could help you , i would.. If i had magic powers, i would make all this hurt go away.. But i have no words, i am not there, i can't help and no magic powers here .. The one thing i can offer.. is to think of you.. and that i do..

Els.