OT -- Anybody belong to Classmates.com?

I think you explained it very well Kay. And it makes me a little sad. Is the thought of snow really so bad you wouldn't return to the Midwest? Though I don't know if what you long for isn't missing from many communities these days. It does seem that so many people just want to do the minimum at their jobs. I wish you the best in looking for new friends with the values and ethics and connection that you are yearning for.

Howdy!

You have more stash than you did in high school, Kathy. That's what got my attention.

R/Sandy

I don't know about old flames, but it makes sense that an individual might be hoping to hear from some people and not others. The most common scenario for me has been one in which I contact someone from my long lost past, get one nice catch-up letter, but then no ongoing correspondence.

--Lia

Come to my school! Most of the teachers I work with are wonderful. There are a few who just don't get it. Most do put in 1.5 or more hours beyond the school day, every day. Honestly, I don't see how you can't and still get the job done.

If, by collab models, you are talking about Inclusion or (as is not the in-term) Integrated models, I can see why people shy away from them. They are a lot of work and very difficult to accomplish withough the proper training. I've been doing it for 15 years. We stop training reg. ed. teachers about 10 years ago because they wouldn't go if they weren't paid and the budget didn't allow for payment, so now it's catch as catch can.

L>> I guess this is going to be hard to explain. I'm not looking for people

Linda PATCHogue, NY

I was going to join then I heard about

and I tried that group instead. My class, 1961 at Sunbury High School, has a website that has been funded for life. We just had our 45th Reunion. You can check it out without paying a fee, your school may already have a group there. Bonnie NJ

The tornadoes scare me more than anything else. Sleeping hunkered down in the living room closet every night for a week wasn't all that bad for a 30 year old. Having to deal with that in my 60's and 70's is not something I want to do. But who cares if the place is friendly, right?

I've thought about just starting some kind of group here. There are many retired people here. They are from all over. Folks come for the golf apparently.

That's why we have basements here! Just put a bedroom in the back/underground part of the basement. You're as safe as possible, quiet, dark and nice and cool and comfy.

Leslie- putting a well-windowed walk-out basement under my 'next' house & The Furbabies in MO.

The stash would explain why I'm more self confident! LOL

(My stash in high school was all double-knit. That would have gotten your attention, too, just not in a good way. *grin*)

It's unlikely that I'll be a homeowner again. Apartments don't tend to have basements. I'm not interested in living on a ground floor of anything -- I prefer sleeping with my windows open and not worrying about people breaking in. Even in my condo in Virginia, I lived on the 2nd and 3rd floor. The person who lived on the lowest level (walkout from the back and basement from the front) had more tornado damage than I did plus the flooding.

I've found the same thing, Kathy! I was painfully shy up through my young adult years, but now I find it pretty easy to talk to total strangers and to make friends. Las Vegas is another gambling town, like Reno but larger. There are lots of people who visit here but don't stay, others who move here and don't stay. Still, there are lots of people who do stay, and it's nice getting to know some of them. It's a lot different from living in the small town where DH and I raised our two DDs, and I love having all of the options of a city open to me. I'll never again live 2+ hours away from a city and quilt shop!

Yeah, mine too. The cotton was 36" wide and if a dark color, it ran like crazy!

I'm getting ready to go to a wonderful quilt shop with a gift certificate that DH got me! I invited him to go and he got that funny look on his face--so, I said he could stay behind..............LOL

Lenore

At least they acknowledged your letter or email. Some don't even bother to do that from what I was told.

I have to confess I signed up for a free stint and did not write back to the person who contacted me. She had made my life hell in junior high and I didn't particularly wish to renew that "friendship" as an adult. I canceled my free membership after that contact.

And some *can't* acknowledge a contact. The free accounts don't allow access to the names and contact information of the people who use paid accounts to write them. I joined a few months ago (free account) and discovered that, so I suspect some people feel that I'm a snob or worse, since I couldn't respond to their messages -- in fact, I couldn't even

*read* their messages. But I don't feel like paying for a membership, so that's that. ;S

I'm a Freebie, too. Don't want to be a "paid", i can buy fabric with that!!

amy in CNY

The most common scenario was to get a single letter. The one where I receive no answer happened too. That could have to do with suspecting spam, or email addresses changing. It's easy for me to take everything personally when it might have nothing to do with me. On the other hand, perhaps I was more interested in them than they were in me.

--Lia

A few years ago, I got interested in contacting the 60 students in my combined 6th grade classes. I had a few reasons. One had to do with learning the effects of the educational innovations at my lab school. Another had to do with thinking it interesting to check in with the students, black and white, about how they felt about going to one of the first integrated schools in our whole area. Also, I had mixed feelings and mixed memories of the teachers. I guess it was a big reality check. I thought there might be a book in it.

I was especially interested in finding and talking to one girl. I remember her as the girl bully, the leader of a ring of girls who made fun of me. I know that impressions can be different, and I was dying to know how she saw those years. Maybe she felt justified in her actions, really thought that I'd done something to her. Maybe there were mitigating circumstances at home. Maybe she thought she was just playing, didn't know how much she hurt. She might have thought she was trying to be friends. I don't know and have been so curious!

I do know that I have no lasting animousity. That's got to be easier when we're talking elementary school, not high school when people are more mature and have more understanding of their actions. I just want to understand more about people and the human condition and what makes them tick. I thought that if she didn't want to talk about the social hierarchy in particular, it would still be interesting to find out what sort of person she is today. Still a bully? Someone I would like? Ordinary and boring with a husband and a few kids? Friendless, disappointed and bitter? This isn't about confrontation or revenge. I sincerely hope that she's a happy person with some insight into the person she used to be, maybe with a sense of humor about it, but I want to know!

And I don't know. I'm certain I found the right address, online and snail. I wrote only a couple of times. Then I had to quit. Anything more would be stalking. I'll admit, though, that my curiousity is intense. I've had flights of fantasy when I imagine tracking her down and finagling a way to be sitting next to her on an airplane for a long flight. (Don't call the police. I'm not doing that.)

So part of me understands why you wouldn't want to contact the person who made you miserable in highschool, but part of me thinks you missed an opportunity to get some closure on those years, a chance to look back from a place of security, happiness, and strength. I know I'd jump at the chance.

--Lia

Everyone is different, which is what makes the world such a great place.

I decided a number of years ago that I wanted to minimize the contacts with negative people in my life and maximize the contacts with positive people. I only have so much energy and time, and I prefer to spend it with people who aren't trying to tear me down. While I may be missing some opportunities that way, I'm also gaining other wonderful opportunities. It's working well for me, and that's all I ask. :)

I made that same decision. But that decision meant that I wouldn't belong to either of the quilting guilds in town. So I miss out on things like national quilting teachers and trips to PIQS. Sure, I could drive the 5 hours to San Francisco myself, but I'd sure be tired. Now I'm trying to go back to those guilds and just hang out with the positive people. I try to make sure I go with someone or arrange in advance to sit with my friends. I guess I'll have to form the clique of the non-violents.

One woman hit me in the chest one day. I filed a police report. I think she should be kicked out, but it wasn't during a guild meeting so most folks don't even know about it. And I'm not willing to be chased away by actions like that.

Maybe I should just move back to a big city where there are more options. Will they hire 60-year-olds to teach in California?

Kay Ahr in NV