But Helen did reply to you, that's important. And she was sensitive enough to know that someone else is better suited to handle the request, and let you know that to get your permission. That speaks volumes about her character.
And remember, although the policeman knew your request, no doubt he is not the person with the authority for the actual release, no doubt it has to go through channels. I believe that type of "chain of command" is international, not just here in the US.
You took the major step in the communication. We're proud of you doing that. Hold tight, the items are on their way to you.
G> with no email this morning, i sent another 'test' of sorts with a reply > request.
while all you said about Helen may be accurate. the police inquest officer does have the authority to return all those things. he is not a cop on the beat. he does the full inquest and he told me on the phone nearly a year back he could and would return all the things taken on the night and all the papers forwarded to him from Uni as soon as he'd concluded the investigation. i think he just forgot. i dont think he should forget something that important. i made it very clear at the time i wanted all that returned when he was done. who else would he need authority from? and why didnt he bother getting that if he needed it rather than waiting for me to ask for it all. their system is slack in that regard. j.
"Ginger in CA" wrote ... But Helen did reply to you, that's important. And she was sensitive enough to know that someone else is better suited to handle the request, and let you know that to get your permission. That speaks volumes about her character.
And remember, although the policeman knew your request, no doubt he is not the person with the authority for the actual release, no doubt it has to go through channels. I believe that type of "chain of command" is international, not just here in the US.
You took the major step in the communication. We're proud of you doing that. Hold tight, the items are on their way to you.
G> with no email this morning, i sent another 'test' of sorts with a reply > request.
here it is now wednesday. i sent the original email to Helen last Friday. i just got an email from the inquest office (police) that says this....
I have spoken with the Coroner Ms Morag McDowell. She has brought matters forward to be dealt with as soon as possible which would as a result of the legal restrictions relating to the notification letters being sent out be another two weeks away. I would be happy to meet with you and show you the Police file and contact replies I have had if this would be of some comfort to you.
i have no clue what all that means. why cant they talk in english. why cant they just explain things clearly. two more weeks for what? 'brought matters forward'...its been over 13months since Timothy left us. i've heard nothing more since one final autopsy report without those blood tests i thot they'd forward to me but they havent yet. not seen any papers sent to the inquest officer from the Uni Timothy attended for the one year prior to his leaving us. not got a final notice that there'd be no public inquest. what the hell is wrong with these people that all this takes over a year to sort out and then they dont get back to me, i have to ask for all this. sorry but this is not at all acceptable. i'm ready to send heads rolling, if not theirs then mine will roll. god damn them all
"J*" wrote ... if you're new to rctq this wont mean a thing go you so feel free to move to the next post about quilting.
everyday for the past year i've woken up with good intentions of calling the central police station to get the things returned to us that were taken by them on the night back in march last year. as well as any papers sent from Uni to the police after they asked for them. i'd asked Uni but they would not send me anything so i asked the inquest officer to do it. we also never saw the blood screen report which came after the final autopsy. i also wanted to know if they'd done anything about having the wording changed on the student loan papers that loans dont have to be paid back if you die. this was highlighted on the papers we found afterwards. seemed to me he used that info to give himself an excuse or something. i dont see why anyone should have to go thru this ever again cuz of those words.
i've been trying to gear myself up to make that phone call everyday but never could bring myself to make the call. today for whatever reason i recalled i had the email addy from the victim support lady. i just sent her an email asking if she could ask the officer all those things for me. i just cant bring myself to talk to some total stranger on the phone about all this. it still hurts so much. you're probably thinking being able to type it to most total strangers here works but a phone call doesnt, how odd. sorry but unless you've had this experience in your lifetime you'll probably never understand. i asked if they can get it done before mothers day. somehow seemed like a reasonable timing request...2 weeks away. i dont know if any of what they've got will be of any use to me but i need to see it all. i still dont understand a bloody thing about what happened. i still need to understand all i can about it. thanks for being here and letting me post about all this. all my real life friends moved overseas before last year and i needed to tell someone. jeanne
Jeanne, I am stepping out on a limb here, and will respond.
There are definitely procedures and policies that have to be followed in any situation and this is no different. You do not know what exactly will be turned over to you. It sounds like people need to be notified that you are going to receive information/letters/documents that they are involved in or named in. Put yourself in their shoes and realize you would want to know when someone is going to be given your name.
Secondly, this is from the way I see it. I have been involved in similar situations. and I know from experience that to wait until a party asks to have the information/letters/documents is the best. That seems to indicate they are ready/prepared for what they may receive. While you have been waiting for them to send things to you, they have been waiting for you to indicate you are ready to receive them. What if they had sent them and you were not ready? Sure you could have just not opened the packet, but maybe not. And maybe you would have been able to handle it best you could, then again maybe not. Why should they be the ones to make that decision? So they waited until you asked.
i asked back in april last year. there were no papers from Uni but no one bothered to tell me there were none. all i've ever seen is the preliminary coroners autopsy, then the final one. no one else contacted me about anything else. no formal letter stating there was no need for a formal public inquest. bottom of final autopsy did say there were blood tests that would follow. seems not to follow to us tho, just to them. now they tell me there is a two week wait from now. sorry that is totally unacceptable. i told them very clearly back last april that i wanted to see anything and everything that might turn up that would help me to understand what went wrong. no one sent me anything. there were no one elses names on anything cuz there was nothing from Uni. nope, they messed up and now i have to wait a further two weeks but why is not clear to me. they are just inconsiderate. all the stuff written on the justice dept website on how this all works is rubbish. they do not take the familys wishes into consideration as posted on their website. i was clear as a bell i wanted to see anything and everything and i've seen nothing but the autopsy. i want all they took from the house returned and the blood tests is that is all there is. i want it now, not in two weeks. i've waited over 13 months already. i guess i'm only his mama and i have no rights at all. the state holds all the rights to my son. i might as well not be his mother for all the considerationg they've given me.
"Ginger in CA" wrote ... Jeanne, I am stepping out on a limb here, and will respond.
There are definitely procedures and policies that have to be followed in any situation and this is no different. You do not know what exactly will be turned over to you. It sounds like people need to be notified that you are going to receive information/letters/documents that they are involved in or named in. Put yourself in their shoes and realize you would want to know when someone is going to be given your name.
Secondly, this is from the way I see it. I have been involved in similar situations. and I know from experience that to wait until a party asks to have the information/letters/documents is the best. That seems to indicate they are ready/prepared for what they may receive. While you have been waiting for them to send things to you, they have been waiting for you to indicate you are ready to receive them. What if they had sent them and you were not ready? Sure you could have just not opened the packet, but maybe not. And maybe you would have been able to handle it best you could, then again maybe not. Why should they be the ones to make that decision? So they waited until you asked.
I have read some stuff in my life; written some too. But NEVER ever have I ever seen anything like:
" I have spoken with the Coroner Ms Morag McDowell. She has brought matters forward to be dealt with as soon as possible which would as a result of the legal restrictions relating to the notification letters being sent out be another two weeks away. I would be happy to meet with you and show you the Police file and contact replies I have had if this would be of some comfort to you."
Huh? What? With no assistance from SpellCheck, the big words that come to my mind are obfuscating and incomprehensible. ( her message is obscure and confusing, if Anything. I have no idea what she said. Baffled. Polly
" I have spoken with the Coroner Ms Morag McDowell. She has brought matters forward to be dealt with as soon as possible which would as a result of the legal restrictions relating to the notification letters being sent out be another two weeks away. I would be happy to meet with you and show you the Police file and contact replies I have had if this would be of some comfort to you."
Huh? What? With no assistance from SpellCheck, the big words that come to my mind are obfuscating and incomprehensible. ( her message is obscure and confusing, if Anything. I have no idea what she said. Baffled. Polly
i had to look up obfuscating in the dictionary to be sure i got the gist of it. not a word i've ever used in regular conversations. j.
"Polly Esther" wrote ... I have read some stuff in my life; written some too. But NEVER ever have I ever seen anything like:
" I have spoken with the Coroner Ms Morag McDowell. She has brought matters forward to be dealt with as soon as possible which would as a result of the legal restrictions relating to the notification letters being sent out be another two weeks away. I would be happy to meet with you and show you the Police file and contact replies I have had if this would be of some comfort to you."
Huh? What? With no assistance from SpellCheck, the big words that come to my mind are obfuscating and incomprehensible. ( her message is obscure and confusing, if Anything. I have no idea what she said. Baffled. Polly
i'm not working thru it. i'm now waiting for someone in the know to tell me what the hell is going on. what legal restrictions they need two weeks to sort thru before i know what is going on. i guess i'm only the mama in this, i have no rights at all. i just want a clear explanation of why i'm waiting 2 weeks more after
13months of no contact. i had to ask for something to happen. going mad, j.
"Joanna" wrote ... I know I'm coming in late here and I don't have any words of wisdom. But I'm glad to hear your working through this. God Bless Take Care Joanna
i resent it. no idea why it didnt get there. i double checked the addy on the sent one just now, it was right just @ not the at. it didnt bounce either so that is weird, unless it went into your spam box cuz i forget to put a subject on it. j.
"Michelle C." wrote ... Hey Jeanne, Maybe the email hasn't had the chance to wind its way through the system yet, but I haven't received anything.
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