OT: Oh What a Day

Oh good grief! What a terrible job you had! I used to love temping because you could find out what a place was really like before becoming a regular employee. You never get to really interview with the people you will work with - like the ditz in finance who never gets the checks done on time and such. But with temping you find those things out.

Best of luck finding a better place to work!

marcella

Sounds like you are better off in the long run. Hope something better comes up soon.

Sounds like your might be better of without that terrible job. This might be a great opportunity to finish some of those UFO's.

It always amazes me how completely incompetent nincompoops can end up as 'bosses!' Sad thing, there are way too many of them.

This moron is only 28! He was suppose to go to another company at the end of January and they kept him. Everyone was so upset when they found he was not going to leave. Now I don't have to deal with him!!!!

D> It always amazes me how completely incompetent nincompoops can end up as

Debbi, I'm so sorry you've had such a horrible experience. People can be so awful sometimes when they know they're in charge. They're small people (in spirit, not necessarily in size) who have to throw their weight around to prove to themselves that they're powerful. I hope something lots better comes along soon!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Debbi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I've been through the job runaround in the past and I'm sorry it's still happening to you. Obviously Idiotic Manager is the one who should be packing up and leaving... but I feel you will find something along this journey that will be the right fit for you. That's how I ended up in the job I'm in now. I bust my behind and sometimes it feels that no one cares, but I really do love my job, just not the politics of working there.

Wow - sounds like you are definitely better off out of there me darlin'- I spent quite a few years temping up in The Big Smoke when I was younger and was regularly sh*t on ('scuse me) from a great height because I was "just the temp"...

If your Agency is any good, they will find you a very nice placement to make up for this nasty one - I once ended up actually working at my Agency itself, taking companies bookings over the phone and ringing round for temps to go in and cover, testing new temps when they applied for work and generally helping out wherever needed - that was the best temp job I ever had! (The worst was when I walked out of a placement in a huff after a silly argument, and the Agency repaid me by putting me in a semi part-time job washing the dishes after lunch in the canteen and doing the tea trolley round twice a day... I learnt my lesson well after that!)

Hugs and hopes that you get the better end of the deal out of this, Suzie B

I had two temp jobs and both of them were bummers. At the first one, the boss was a commercial building contractor. The duties were pleasant enough until the boss's wife imperiously decided that I should also baby-sit their children, run her errands and tend to her bill paying. The 2nd temp job was a real puzzle. I worked for the chairman of a large ministerial association. He was a maniac about his importance. My telephone answering duty was limited to saying 'hello' and taking messages. Under no circumstances could I answer questions even as simple as what day was a Sunday service on. He would turn purple with rage if I changed anything he had written out for me to type. I had to leave his terrible spelling and grammar just as he wrote it. Looking back, the 3rd temp job comes to mind. The boss would show up sometime during the day, have a quick glug from a bottle at the back of the top filing cabinet drawer and head out. My duty, only one, was simply to 'be there'. I wish I'd known how to quilt back then. Precious memories, Polly

I think this must have been a blessing in disguise Debbi. What an awful situation. I worked a temp job a few years ago, but was referred by their accountant, who I knew through another business relationship. The firm was owned by 2 partners & the wife of one partner worked some hours in the office, to pay bills & issue payroll. When I met with them, they were as nice as could be & my friend is really close friends with them & raved about them. Well, one partner had an ego that barely fit thru the front door & the other partner was extremely volatile, so I learned to stay out of his way if he was in one of those moods. The wife!!!!!!!! They all were very involved in the same church & the wife took Bible study classes & I think taught some religion classes as well. She was such a hypocrite & so mean & so rude to me that I hated the job after I had been there for less than a week. She was most "unchristian like". I got along great with all the employees; I tolerated the partners, but the wife was really "special". Unfortunately, because it was a referral from a friend, I had to stick it out for 6 miserable months. Fortunately, the wife came & went when she liked, so I didn't have to deal with her everyday. I was so happy to leave.

I'm quite sure you'll find the right place for you where people are nice & the job is stimulating. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Debi, I'm sending hugs and prayers that a more suitable jobs comes your way quickly. Best of luck.

Hugs, Mika

This was posted on my fibro group. It seems to fit this supervisor. We probably all know bosses like this.

------------------------------------------------------- What is bullying? Bullying is persistent unwelcome behaviour, mostly using unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also exclusion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently, being shouted at, humiliated, excessive monitoring, having verbal and written warnings imposed, and much more. In the workplace, bullying usually focuses on distorted or fabricated allegations of underperformance. Click here for definitions of workplace bullying.

Why do people bully? The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. Bullying has nothing to do with managing etc; good managers manage, bad managers bully. Management is managing; bullying is not managing. Therefore, anyone who chooses to bully is admitting their inadequacy, and the extent to which a person bullies is a measure of their inadequacy. Bullies project their inadequacy on to others:

a) to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it; b) to avoid accepting responsibility for their behaviour and the effect it has on others, and, c) to reduce their fear of being seen for what they are, namely a weak, inadequate and often incompetent individuals, and, d) to divert attention away from their inadequacy - in an insecure or badly-managed workplace, this is how inadequate, incompetent and aggressive employees keep their jobs.

Bullying is an inefficient way of working, resulting in disenchantment, demoralisation, demotivation, disaffection, and alienation. Bullies run dysfunctional and inefficient organisations; staff turnover and sickness absence are high whilst morale, productivity and profitability are low. Prosperity is illusory and such organizations are a bad long-term investment. Projection and denial are hallmarks of the serial bully.

Bullying is present behind all forms of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, persecution, conflict and violence. When the bullying has a focus (eg race or gender) it is expressed as racial prejudice or harassment, or sexual discrimination and harassment, and so on. When the bullying lacks a focus (or the bully is aware of the Sex Discrimination Act or the Race Relations Act), it comes out as pure bullying; this is an opportunity to understand the behaviours which underlie almost all reprehensible behavior. I believe bullying is the single most important social issue of today.

Bullying... is a form of abuse, and bullies - and unenlightened employers - often go to great lengths to keep their targets quiet, using threats of disciplinary action, dismissal, and gagging clauses. What bullies fear most is exposure of their inadequacy and being called publicly to account for their behavior and its consequences. This makes sense when you remember that the purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy, and people who bully to hide their inadequacy are often incompetent.

A bully is a person who

• has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour * wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but who is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for being part of the adult world. * abdicates and denies responsibility for their behaviour and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying) * is unable and unwilling to recognise the effect of their behaviour on others * does not want to know of any other way of behaving * is unwilling to recognise that there could be better ways of behaving.

Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; the serial bully has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target.

Despite the facade that such people put up, bullies have low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and thus feel insecure. Low self-esteem is a factor highlighted by all studies of bullying. Because such people are inadequate and unable to fulfil the duties and obligations of their position (but have no hesitation in accepting salary), they fear being revealed. This fear of exposure often borders on paranoia.

Bullies are seething with resentment, bitterness, hatred and anger, and often have wide-ranging prejudices as a vehicle for dumping their anger onto others. Bullies are driven by jealousy and envy. Rejection (which cannot be assuaged) is another powerful motivator of bullying.

Bullies are people who have not learned the lesson of consequences, ie that if they behave well there are good consequences (reward), but if they behave badly there are bad consequences (restriction, sanction, punishment, etc). Since childhood, bullies have learnt that they can avoid the unpleasant consequences of bad behaviour through the instinctive response of denial, blame, and feigning victimhood.

Cyber bullying is the misuse of email systems or Internet forums etc for sending aggressive flame mails. Serial bullies have few communication skills (and often none), thus the impersonal nature of email makes it an ideal tool for causing conflict. Sometimes called cyberstalking.

In environments where bullying is the norm, most people will eventually either become bullies or become targets. There are few bystanders, as most people will eventually be sucked in. It's about survival: you either adopt bullying tactics yourself and thus survive by not becoming a target, or you stand up against bullying and refuse to join in, in which case you are bullied, harassed, victimized and scapegoated until your health is so severely impaired that you have a stress breakdown (this is a psychiatric injury, not a mental illness - see health page for details on stress, or the PTSD page for details on psychiatric injury), take ill-health retirement, leave, find yourself unexpectedly selected for redundancy, or are unfairly dismissed.

How do bullies select their targets?

The bully selects their target using the following criteria:

• bullies are predatory and opportunistic - you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time; this is always the main reason - investigation will reveal a string of predecessors, and you will have a string of successors * being good at your job, often excelling * being popular with people (colleagues, customers, clients, pupils, parents, patients, etc) * more than anything else, the bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and incompetence; your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear * being the expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional (ie you get more attention than the bully) * having a well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise * having a strong sense of integrity (bullies despise integrity, for they have none, and seem compelled to destroy anyone who has integrity) * having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited * being too old or too expensive (usually both) * refusing to join an established clique * showing independence of thought or deed

Targets of bullying usually have these qualities:

• popularity (this stimulates jealousy in the less-than-popular bully) * competence (this stimulates envy in the less-than-competent bully) * intelligence and intellect * honesty and integrity (which bullies despise) * you're trustworthy, trusting, conscientious, loyal and dependable * a well-developed integrity which you're unwilling to compromise * you're always willing to go that extra mile and expect others to do the same * successful, tenacious, determined, courageous, having fortitude * a sense of humour, including displays of quick-wittedness * imaginative, creative, innovative * idealistic, optimistic, always working for improvement and betterment of self, family, the employer, and the world * ability to master new skills * ability to think long term and to see the bigger picture * sensitivity (this is a constellation of values to be cherished including empathy, concern for others, respect, tolerance etc) * slow to anger * helpful, always willing to share knowledge and experience * giving and selfless * difficulty saying no * diligent, industrious * tolerant * strong sense of honour * irrepressible, wanting to tackle and correct injustice wherever you see it # an inability to value oneself whilst attributing greater importance and validity to other people's opinions of oneself (eg through tests, exams, appraisals, manager's feedback, etc) # low propensity to violence (ie you prefer to resolve conflict through dialogue rather than through violence or legal action) # a strong forgiving streak (which the bully exploits and manipulates to dissuade you from taking grievance and legal action) # a desire to always think well of others # being incorruptible, having high moral standards which you are unwilling to compromise # being unwilling to lower standards # a strong well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise or abandon # high expectations of those in authority and a dislike of incompetent people in positions of power who abuse power # a tendency to self-deprecation, indecisiveness, deference and approval seeking # low assertiveness # a need to feel valued # quick to apologise when accused, even if not guilty (this is a useful technique for defusing an aggressive customer or potential road rage incident) # perfectionism # higher-than-average levels of dependency, naivety and guilt # a strong sense of fair play and a desire to always be reasonable # high coping skills under stress, especially when the injury to health becomes apparent # a tendency to internalise anger rather than express it

The typical sequence of events is:

• the target is selected using the criteria above, then bullied for months, perhaps years * eventually, the target asserts their right not to be bullied, perhaps by filing a complaint with personnel * personnel interview the bully, who uses their Jekyll and Hyde nature, compulsive lying, and charm to tell the opposite story (charm has a motive - deception) * it's one word against another with no witnesses and no evidence, so personnel take the word of the senior employee - serial bullies excel at deception and evasion of accountability * the personnel department are hoodwinked by the bully into getting rid of the target - serial bullies are adept at encouraging conflict between people who might otherwise pool negative information about them * once the target is gone, there's a period of between 2-14 days, then a new target is selected and the process starts again (bullying is an obsessive compulsive behaviour and serial bullies seem unable to survive without a target on to whom they can project their inadequacy and incompetence whilst blaming them for the bully's own failings)

Excerpts from from Work bullies, take what you need and leave the rest... Source:

"Debbi in SO CA" wrote in message news:1cCMh.67094$ snipped-for-privacy@newsfe12.phx...

You know what's really sad? I had/have a co-worker that fits this perfectly. The even sadder part? She is now out on workes compensation leave for stress induced by bullying by her superiors. Go figure.....