OT Rant about posts

Diana, I think in some peoples case, "too sensitive" or thinking TOO much - refers to THEIR discomfort when you express an opinion that conveys displeasure or disagreement with their opinion/thought/feeling/expression whatever.

In my mothers case - it is when she is being bigoted and hypocritical to or about another human being - I speak my mind and tell her that I can't stand it when she is telling me about her Christian friends and her church group one minute and slamming black people the next - that she tells me, "Oh Tina, you are just too sensitive!"

Well, all that tells me, is that I hit a "sensitive" nerve in YOU that you didn't want hit. No need for me to be beligerant about it - but I just tuck it away in my heart and give thanks that I learned how NOT to be towards my fellow man, from my mother.

Hugs, Tina

I absolutely agree with you Wendy. I have been suffering in silence, because of what I had to endure when I made a small objection some months ago; but sometimes I get tired of just being quiet and, apparently, tolerant - which I am not. It is *not* possible to filter out these things when they come in the middle of a seemingly on topic, ordinary post. I suppose I do have a low 'offence' threshold, but I no longer read any posts labelled 'joke' or 'humo(u)r'. I cringe when I bump into coarse or vulgar language, but I have assumed other people think it is acceptable, as rarely does anyone say anything in objection. RCTQ has come to mean a great deal to many of us; and, like you I'm sure, it would be hard to pack up and go away. Though, in the last little while, many have disappeared. We don't know why for most of them.

I am bubbling over with feelings, but can't think of any way to express things.

I only posted because I didn't want you to feel you were a lone voice.

I do also agree with Tina, but that concerns a rather different, more specific area. . In message , frood writes

DD is like her dad. She thinks too much, as well. Big brained people often do. They analyze everything down to the last detail. And sometimes they read way more into something than there actually is. Most people really AREN'T that deep.

Sometimes someone will make a remark that might be hurtful. Sometimes it's unintentional, sometimes it's just plain stupid.

I get past it by figuring that the remark was unintentional AND stupid. DD will have assigned motive and 10 years worth of history to back her up by the time it's all said and done. She "thought too much" and plum wore herself out in the process.

This is one of my favorite quotes: "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity."

Cindy

Good question. I got called too sensitive because it offends me to hear my *Christian* religious holidays called by twisted, cutesy names. I got accused on this group of trying to decide what other people should say. Sure, you can call them anything you want, but it's not very considerate -- and not very mature -- to call them by anything other than their proper names in public. It's about respect, really. I had to hold in a childish desire to call Muslim holidays by something unflattering and cutesy and say, "See? You can't tell me what to say, you're just being over-sensitive." It would have been ugly.

All of this is about respect. People who had no respect for the folks stranded on their rooftops because of the color of their skin (two-thirds the population of New Orleans was black, what color did you expect to see? besides, I *saw* footage on CNN of white people being pulled from rooftops too). Blaming the victims is ugly. Sure, they made the wrong decision to stay after the evacuation started. Do they deserve to die an ugly death because they thought it couldn't possibly get as bad as it did? And that's why many of the ones who could have gotten out but didn't, stayed -- they really didn't think it could get as bad as it did. Foolish, overly-optimistic, whatever. I might have thought the same thing. I really think I might have. I may have wanted to stay and protect my home from the inevitable looters. They didn't deserve to drown or die of heat prostration and dehydration in an attic they couldn't get out of, for one admittedly stupid decision. And they certainly don't deserve our scorn. It's even more reprehensible to scorn the ones who *couldn't* leave.

Katrina was a monster storm bigger than whole nations that slammed into my country and left a disaster area bigger than Great Britain. And Al Quaeda rejoiced. *That's* ugly (and I have to admit, I have to hold back a wave of religious bigotry against Muslims for it). Whole towns on the Gulf coast were turned into piles of matchsticks. Hundreds died; tens (hundreds?) of thousands were left homeless. Since insurance companies are trying to save their bottom line by using a technicality to refuse pay out to people whose homes were destroyed by the flooding, there are plenty of people who weren't poor who will be driven into poverty by this. Those already poor are even worse off. And some religious bigots say it was God punishing gays? It's ugly. And it makes me angry, because THAT'S what people will think Christians are like, and too many don't realize that's NOT Christianity in any way, shape or form. It's just ugly.

What are people really thinking? Geez, I don't know. But if I look deep inside when I get a kick out of a blonde joke, isn't it really envy at the bottom of it all? Wanting to get back at blondes, because I was a brunette child with a blonde brother who never let me forget that "blonds have more fun"? So it makes me wonder if there's some seed that started as envy when you hear white people bad-mouthing black people -- maybe a black person got the job they wanted, or something. I had a black friend tell me that whites just don't get it -- blacks have to live with racism every time they leave their house, and often enough, coming into their own living room through the television or the computer. Every day, it smacks them in the face. Every single day of their lives. I thought about what that must be like. They're tired of it, and they're tired of being accused of whining about it. It was the first time anybody had pointed that out to me, and I was ashamed that I hadn't realized it on my own.

Respect and rising above the very human tendency to get ugly is what it's all about.

I agree that some of the joke posts are not my style. I have learned to check who sent the joke before opening that post. I will probably miss a few good jokes but I won't have any floating in my mind which are not of my taste. (Why is it that we always remember the things we shouldn't and forget the grocery list?)

Susan

I have Muslim friends. They assure me that Al Quaeda is not what Islam is about. It makes them angry that others will assume that that [the rejoicing which took place after Katrina] is what their religion is about, or that fanatics who twist religious tenets "speak" for them.

-- Jo in Scotland

So what you're saying is that those who accuse you of being "too sensitive" are indeed hipocrites who are "too sensitive" when you say something that might possibly offend?

I love to pick on hipocrites! Let me at them!

The plot thickins...

Tom Lehrer.... he of the elements song and existential blues and many more very funny, well written songs

Victor Borges.

-- Jo in Scotland

Frood and Patti - You have summed up my feelings exactly. The reason no-one objects is summed up in your second paragraph Patti - those of us who have, dare I say it, standards, know that if we do object, whether it be here or in the 'real' world, we will be subjected to general unpleasantness we could do without.

It does annoy me though when people presume that just because I don't like foul language and find their 'humour' offensive, I must be some strange prim and proper, and in some way inferior person.

When unpleasantness starts I stop and remember the size of this Group

- in the Directory there are over 200 people - and many more not in the Directory, and it's only a tiny minority who cause offence. So I stick around for the good bits - which far outweigh the bad ones.

Can I bubble along with you!

And Tina - carry on spreading happiness - that's a special gift.

-- Sally at the Seaside~~~~~~~

Linda PATCHogue, NY

thanks :-)

It will not work. No matter how much you protest, I am going to tell my Christmas joke. If you delete it, I will post it again and again under misleading titles. If you add me to your Blocked Senders list, I will find out. One night when you are deep in sleep, my cold boney hand will reach out, grab you firmly, and I will ask, "Do you know . . .?" Polly

Tried to keep outta this discussion but you note has me insisting on a comment Polly. YOur joke isn't just a joke, it is part of our Christmas tradition here. The holiday wouldn't be the same without it. We like it, we want it and we always look forward to it. Taria

Polly Esther wrote:

Well said, sometimes the posts here are enough to turn the air blue :) !

But, to my knowledge an established, unmoderated newsgroup can't be switched to a moderated one. We all just need to learn to control our fingers.

-Irene=20

-------------- You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.=20

--Mae West=20

--------------

But I will hunt for your joke Poly - I've been practising the accent all year.

-- Sally at the Seaside~~~~~~~

Yeah, I am already gearing up for it, Polly!

Cindy

Don't encourage me, Taria. I could get so much worse. For example, I could tell you about our son-in-law's hurricane humor. He is so good at using *almost* the right word that you have to be on your toes not to get confused by his wit. He very seriously explained to us that the reason the trees here had all turned brown was because the winds from Katrina had blown all the chloroform out of the leaves. I know. Groan. Polly