OT Truths for Mature Humans- humor

I can answer #5. Fitted sheets do not have to be folded. You just mush them into a reasonably flat hunk, wrap it firmly with the flat sheet and pillowcases and move on to something important. Some things are Not worth doing right. Don't tell Momma. Polly

My personal favorites are #19 and #24.

Kim in NJ

Alternative answer to #5: I restrict myself to one set of sheets. Strip, wash and dry all in the same day. No folding of the fitted sheet necessary. Flat sheet is folded only enough to provide a centering line. Fast and easy.

Rita - being lazy works for me :-)

Martha can show you how to fold fitted sheets. ;-) I never have any trouble folding them. You just have to make a fold out of the width taken up by the corners....

Amen.

Isn't that annoying? I hate Word.

N.

i'll try to read thru the rest later when i'm fully awake. i got to #8. sometimes the newspaper is forbidden by law to say what the cause of death was. j.

"Leslie& The Furbabies in MO." wrote ... Truths For Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

2. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

1. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

2. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

1. Was learning cursive really necessary?

2. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

1. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

2. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

1. Bad decisions make good stories.

2. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

1. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

2. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that swear I did not make any changes to.

1. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

2. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

1. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

2. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

1. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

2. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

1. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

2. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

1. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

OK, Ladies.....Quit Laughing.

No folding needed if you take it from the dryer or the line and put it right back on the bed...

Julia > I can answer #5. Fitted sheets do not have to be folded. You just mush

Can't remember the last time I folded sheets, or wrote in classic cursive, which isn't being taught in school anymore because somebody caught on that it really isn't necessary.

#24 -- I have two sons and a husband. Nothing else needs to be said.

#1 goes without saying.

#14 is the most lovely bit of painful truth I've ever seen written.

The rest, I laughed until I couldn't remember who actually posted the thread. I read the one about looking at your watch. And then read it again. Then I looked at the top of the thread and still forgot by the time I scrolled back down here who started the thread. Whoever you are, thanks very much. This is fun.

Sunny still snickering madly

Nice list.

Yes. It's the best way to express oneself after hitting your thumb with a hammer (or stitching oneself to a quilt).

If/when it comes at breakfast, do you still have to go?

Kay: "This is gonna replace CD's soon; guess I'll have to buy the White Album again..."

What?

I'll ignore that.

Doc

THANK YOU! :D

Duvet day... ;)

Just squirrel your whole collection away on the laptop, and when the Next Big Thing comes out, you can just transfer the whole pile of files! :D (Whistles gently along to the tunes on the wax cylindars... )

Eh? Half past three.

Wise.

Eh? One of those seatless porcelain things the hotels have next to the commode? They have a DAY for those?

If only that were practical. Besides, wax SOUNDS better.

No, dear, that's a BIDET! DUVET is the big fluffy comforter stuffed with down (or Dacron hollofiber in my case!) on the bed that keeps you cozy all winter...

And valves! (Giggle)

Now That was funny. Polly

"Dr. Zachary Smith"

Eh? One of those seatless porcelain things the hotels have next to the commode? They have a DAY for those?

Your prayers are answered...

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Maybe Kate's. I was using "wax" colloquially. I came into a large collection of vintage bluegrass & old-timey records - many from the

50's thru '70s (NINETEEN 50's thru '70s, that is...) that have never been opened/played. (Yes, the wrappers were slit to prevent shrink damage). Some of it I'm sure is... "meh", but some is pretty rare.

One of the classic movie channels (either TCM or FOX, I forget) has been running Leo Gorcey/Huntz Hall movies on Saturdays (Dead-End Kids, East Side Kids, Bowery Boys - there were a lot of them). Overall it's pretty lowbrow stuff, redeemed by Leo Gorcey's genius when it came to "moidering the King's English" via malapropisms...

"always delivered in a Brooklyn accent, such as "a clever seduction"for "a clever deduction," "I depreciate it!" ("I appreciate it!"), "Iregurgitate" ("I reiterate"), and "optical delusion" ("opticalillusion")."

When you listen closely for them, it's funny stuff.

Doc

We cast nasturtiums, and follow the destructions for making things all the time. Wordplay is always fun.

I just loved that! And-yes- i am at work! #4, #7, and #17 amy in CNY (soon in transit...yay!)

OH My Gosh Leslie, that was wonderful, thank you! I needed to laugh out loud, thank you thank you thank you!

Judie