OT: Venting..teen cellphone use

I can sympathize Linda. I have a teenager who wants a phone and I just haven't gone there yet. He doesn't have a job and really who does he need to be calling. I do have an extra phone like you on the cingular plan too. I let the kids take it only if they have after school activities or go for their bike rides etc. I have a feeling next year I'll be in the same boat.

On the text messaging front I have a friend that texts me. I've asked her repeatedly not to, because A she can just call me with free M2M and B looking at my bill last night texts are 15 cents a piece here... Incoming and outgoing. I'm going to look into whether I can block her from doing it, because she doesn't seem to care that I've asked her not to.

Sorry Linda I have no solutions or suggestions regarding the cell phone, but I'm reading this thread with great interests so I can learn from you all.

Lynne

PS. I will share a thing I do for my kids when they ask me to do something that they should have done themselves... Like a call from school "will you bring me my library book I forgot it." I ask them what chore will you do for me if I drop everything and bring you your book? We then agree on the chore/payment for the errand. I'm hoping the chore will jog their memory and they'll bring their book to school. I've only gotten the bring something to school call once from my son and twice from my daughter. Maybe if your son wants extra gas money think of some yucking chore he can save you from as payment for the gas money. Maybe after he gets done scrubbing out the trash cans, or weeding the gardens or racking every leaf off the property he might think managing his calls and money might be well worth it.

Matt and I had a similar problem with his youngest, who just turned 16. We took him off the cell for a while. He only got it when he went out, then turned it back in when he was in the house. Since phones aren't allowed in our school district, having the cell during the school hours wasn't an issue. Plus, we did make him cough up for the amount we went over our plan. They can't learn responsibility unless you make them responsible. And we haven't told them we got a text plan. For all they know, text messages cost $.10 a piece, coming or going, and they know if they get any they will need to pay for them. Their friends don't text.

I like what Lynne said in her PS. I've used that technique a lot with Matt's kids. Maybe its easier for me to do because I'm not their parent (but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night). But they owe me favors if I need to do something for them. And even if they do ask, I might say no, just based on past behaviors (i.e. not getting chores done on time even though they were repeatedly asked to). They know that, and have learned to ask very politely and know it will cost them. It hasn't stopped them from calling their mom and asking her to do stuff (which she will do) even though she lives an hour a way. Not to long ago, she actually drove down here to bring the younger kid a 2-liter bottle of soda, which he had forgotten at home. (I can't even go there.)

Now if anyone has any ideas for getting them off the computer (MySpace, world of warcraft (which they are paying for) and IM'ing), I'm all ears. They each get 3 hours a day (dad decided this) and they both use it to their fullest. Yes, that is 21 hours a piece a week. The older one does Tae Kwon Do, but the younger one does nothing. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Kathy

We actually had this problem with our oldest. Simply solution on the texting. We have a family plan and when we were billed for huge number of texts we called and had the texting banned from that number. That phone can not send nor text as it is a blocked feature. This is on a third phone we have to send with the kids for after school activities or while they are out with friends as pay phones are very rare. DS#1 has it most of the time and I'm sure next year DS#2 will have it just as much as he'll be working, in charge of ROTC activies ect. We do have to remind them that it's not THIER phone, it's OURS that they are allowed to use, but they have to ask to take it. If they don't next time they leave the house it's not available for them. The HORRORS of being the only teen in the group without a cell phone!

As a side note we have Cingular as well and they were very nice to us on the phone when we called about getting a solution on the texting. Perhaps you can call them and do the same thing, and ask about the minutes, can the phone automatically not work after X number of minutes used per billing period? It's worth asking. GOOD LUCK!! Been where your at, don't envy you.

I do make him do an extra chore for me, when he wants money! I do that for my youngest DS too, when he wants something extra...I will ask him...and what will you do to EARN that? :-) t Thanks for the ideas! Linda

Linda, I've got five cell phones on a family plan with 1400 minutes. One of the phones is a kid one with only four numbers that can be called for the 14 yr old DD (we just added her last year). The older kids pay me their monthly phone bill. The only stipulation is that they can never go over the allotted minutes. I gave each one of them 200 peak minutes and kept the rest for myself and for run-over. We've done this for almost five years without a problem - but I do check the usage every Friday evening just to see where everyone stands and let them know how they are doing. There was the one time when middle DD was in college up north and her boyfriend dumped her. That phone bill was $250+, but she paid it right away. I thought I was going to have heart failure when I got the bill. That's when I started checking every Friday night. No more surprises, and they know I'm checking and I also know every phone call they make and when they make it. They know if they go over their phone will be shut off. Sandy

Cingular has an add on where you get 3000 text messages a month for $19.99 and if you go over that it's 0.03 a message. If he is going to text that much maybe the $19.99 a month is worth it.

One thing that saved on cellphone minutes is

He did mention that 3000 message deal, and he wants to do that. Its his money!!! I am going to let him do this for a month, and see how he does. If that doesnt help, he will have to have some self control, and have REAL communication between his friends! thanks for the tip on the grand central.com..i checked it out and its not available in my area yet, but it sounds pretty cool!

Thank you everyone for letting me vent and for all your suggestions! :-)

Linda

Have you looked into Metro pcs ? I pay $50 a mo. for unlimited calls, unlimited text messeging, unlimited long distance, and no roaming charges.