Yesterday I went to 2 concerts Mike was singing in. The first one was a group Mike's been singing with since we moved here. That group is at a level that I don't exactly regret being unable to sing with them. The second one was a chorus he was singing with for the first time. They had folks who had a clue and a director who knows what he's doing. I would have really enjoyed singing with them. But my ribcage won't let me sing that much these days. It's a good day if I can make it through the 4 hymns of a church service. An hour+ of singing is totally out. I couldn't help thinking how this DD has stolen the needlework loved from me and how I can't even hold my clarinet properly much less play it and now I can't even sing. And other stuff I was trying to get into doing is totally out now with my thumbs so affected. I can work around some fingers, but not the thumbs.
I thought I'd fairly well adjusted to this crap, but sitting there knowing I can't even take a few weeks of rehersal and one performance with a tolerably decent chorus had me choking back the tears. And where we live, decent live music is rare so I don't even have the tradeoff of listening to concerts. Damn. I'm one of those people for whom life & music are so entwined that neither exists without the other. And this crap has to even steal something as simple as singing from me. And then an artic front came through last night so I'm in a weather flare on top of it. damn, damn, damn.
We were talking to some of our clergy friends after the service - folks who were also in the concert. Tthe tenor soloist also has PA w/ spondylitis. He cold only sing the solos as his hips, knees and SI area won't let him stand longer than 10 minutes. (walking is ok, not standing so we figure he must be one who paces during his sermons!) He didn't know about costochondritis. Th look on his face when he realized this crap can even steal singing from one wa classic. Can't i give up the costo and transfer that inflammation to somewhere else? Just to have talking, singing and laughing pain-free again would be such a gift.
OK, enough self-pity for now. off to do some stuff to get away from wallowing. Oh! My stepdaughter managed to catch a cancellation at the teaching hospital's RD clinic and is going in early this week! It's really big as she's learned there was some autoimmune illness on her mother's side in earlier generations. So our good news is she might soon have treatment at long last for whatever she ahs.