OT: Just had a long talk

Oh I like that!!!!!

I guess I'm in that "serve as a horrible example" category. Much to my relief my daughter doesn't seem to be following in m footsteps.

KarenK

I want some of what you told them! I hope to be able to instill sensible behavior into my kids, but 20 and 21 will be something I can only pray for.

-Kalera

Barbara Otters> I always told the boys, be very careful about what you do and

I'm so curious about why kids feel the need to do this (uh duh, I know the obvious reasons, like everyone else is, but somehow those reasons never struck me as very convincing or even very true as a kid. Maybe since most of my friends didn't?)

I was 21 when I got married so I can't say I lasted longer then 21, but I think I would've if I hadn't. My little brother is now 20. He and his girlfriend spent a few weeks just holding hands and, according to his last report are currently "not doing much that I would think is inappropriate, but like to cuddle". Knowing what my brother knows of me, I'm guessing that means they are kissing and cuddling.

Similarly, I have never drunk any alcoholic beverages except as part of religious events, and I know my brother has. I'm not delighted, but am entirely certain that he has told me excactly what he has done: he has gotten drunk exactly once and decided it is not worth it. Since then he will have a maximum of one drink and only on the weekend. Neither of us has ever taken drugs.

I'm not saying all of this to brag AT ALL. More because I am worried about my (still hypothetical) children. DH and I have discussed it a lot. Some very scary things have happened on his side of the family (mostly to step-siblings and cousins) and we want our children to grow up safe and whole, and to have time to enjoy school and children's activities. We don't want them to have adult responsibilities before they are ready for it. We think dealing with the heavy emotional issues that come with a serious relationship is one of the things most kids are not ready for just because they've reached puberty, as evidenced by some very real and very sad incidents in DH's family as well as general societal problems we hear about.

Thinking about what my parents did or said... I can't remember them ever saying anything specific. I think there was just a general expectation that school came first, and that my parents were involved in everything that went on around us. I guess sort of consistant expectations of us over time. Oh, and we could (and did) always talk to my mom about EVERYTHING. There's one thing my mom and Kathy N-V have in common, so that has got to be a good sign! :)

marisa2

Kalera Stratt> I want some of what you told them! I hope to be able to instill sensible

I'm so curious about why kids feel the need to do this (uh duh, I know the obvious reasons, like everyone else is, but somehow those reasons never struck me as very convincing or even very true as a kid. Maybe since most of my friends didn't?)

I was 21 when I got married so I can't say I lasted longer then 21, but I think I would've if I hadn't. My little brother is now 20. He and his girlfriend spent a few weeks just holding hands and, according to his last report are currently "not doing much that I would think is inappropriate, but like to cuddle". Knowing what my brother knows of me, I'm guessing that means they are kissing and cuddling.

Similarly, I have never drunk any alcoholic beverages except as part of religious events, and I know my brother has. I'm not delighted, but am entirely certain that he has told me excactly what he has done: he has gotten drunk exactly once and decided it is not worth it. Since then he will have a maximum of one drink and only on the weekend. Neither of us has ever taken drugs.

I'm not saying all of this to brag AT ALL. More because I am worried about my (still hypothetical) children. DH and I have discussed it a lot. Some very scary things have happened on his side of the family (mostly to step-siblings and cousins) and we want our children to grow up safe and whole, and to have time to enjoy school and children's activities. We don't want them to have adult responsibilities before they are ready for it. We think dealing with the heavy emotional issues that come with a serious relationship is one of the things most kids are not ready for just because they've reached puberty, as evidenced by some very real and very sad incidents in DH's family as well as general societal problems we hear about.

Thinking about what my parents did or said... I can't remember them ever saying anything specific. I think there was just a general expectation that school came first, and that my parents were involved in everything that went on around us. I guess sort of consistant expectations of us over time. Oh, and we could (and did) always talk to my mom about EVERYTHING. There's one thing my mom and Kathy N-V have in common, so that has got to be a good sign! :)

marisa2

Kalera Stratt> I want some of what you told them! I hope to be able to instill sensible

(that was me) ~~ Sooz To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. ~~Joseph Chilton Pearce

Oops sorry. I think you are right.

Actually, it could very well have been both of us. ~~ Sooz To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. ~~Joseph Chilton Pearce