My mother and sister are going to be away on December 25, so we decided to have our family celebration today. I insisted that it be low key, since DD is sick with the flu, and I'm not up and tap dancing myself. After many, many three-way telephone calls, we finalized our plans and decided to meet at my mother's house.
Honestly, with all the indecision and nitpicking involved in making plans, we're worse than a bunch of teenagers at the mall. ("So? What do you wanna do? " I don't care - What do you wanna do?" Let's ask Mom, maybe she wants to do something different?".... and so on, endlessly) Thank goodness we all have calling plans that let us speak with one another for no extra fees.
The game plan was that we'd get to Mom's house to exchange gifts and hang out, and order Chinese Food for dinner when we got hungry. This plan was agreed upon by all, except one: my DD. She wanted the same meal that her grandmother (my mother) has made for her since she was tiny: hot dogs, boiled rice and a cucumber. Sounds horrid, but she really loves it, and it's a special meal between them.
Bob drove DD and me to Mom's house, since it's a fair distance away, and I'm still not driving. His game plan was to drop off "his girls" and run like the wind in the opposite direction. It's hard to understand why, but he seems to dislike our girls' gossip and storytelling sessions. I encouraged him to go and do whatever, but to please return to drive us home. Mom and my sister disagreed - so Bob had to stay. Even if he had to be bound hand and foot.
Indecision threatened to take over as various family members asked "what do you wanna do first?"
Pushy old bat that I am, I said, "Let's open presents, and take it from there, and can we turn down those wretched German Folk Music Christmas Carols?" In the name of all that is good and holy, turn off the Deutsche Volksleider! Forget weapons of mass destruction - we could take over the whole Middle Eaast with a couple of big speakers and a selection of Deutsche Volksleider.
Presents were distributed, and DD tore open her stuff first. As the privileged favorite granddaughter, she got loads of lovely expensive gifts, and had a trapped audience to oooh and aaah over her presents. DH got to go next, since he had very little to open - a couple of gift cards from our favorite restaurants and a bunch of Hershey's chocolate with Almonds
My mother wanted to go next. I had made her a couple of necklaces and bought matching turtleneck sweaters to complete the ensembles. First was a 20" plain strung necklace of microfaceted Ametrine roundelles, with 4mm 14K saucer spacers. I used the gold colored soft flex as well, and it came out very well. It got a 14K lobster claw clasp, because those are my mom's favorite kinds of clasps. The matching turtleneck sweater was amethyst colored, and had Mom's initials embroidered on the collar.
The second necklace was pretty simple: 8mm yellow jade rounds spaced with bronze delicas and 4 mm Swarovski Fire Opal bicones, embellished with a Golden-ish mother of pearl butterfly carving. The yellow of the jade matched a buttery yellow turtleneck I found, and the two look like they were meant to go together.
Mom cornered poor Bob and make him listen to her expound on how many outfits each piece of jewelry would accent, and how nicely the turtlenecks coordinate, and isn't it special that Kath (me) finds just the right ones - Poly/Cotton (Mom hates 100% cotton, go figure), in tall, with extra long sleeves. Bob gave me one of those "I'm trapped now, and you owe me BIG, wife" looks.
Mom also got some chocolate and got a case of German Gingerbread (lebkuchen) as a pre-Christmas present, so she didn't do too horribly from our home.
DD tried on all her new and funky clothes, all from stores in the mall where I will not go. I cannot fathom going into some trendy shop and spending $50 on a tee shirt, but apparently, Aunts and Grandmothers are very comfortable doing so. Child will be a fashion plate for a while, until she has to go back to her more reasonably priced wardrobe, sigh.
My sister's husband is a very sweet man, but not at all "warm and fuzzy." She doesn't get lovely wrapped gifts or roses, or things of that nature, and there is rarely even one present under the tree with her name on it. She knows that she has little cause to complain, because there's usually a new Cadillac in the driveway, plane tickets to the islands or a new snowmobile, but no wrapped boxes with socks or bubble bath.
After hearing my sister whine for the umpteenth year, I decided that if she wanted to unwrap things, so be it. I bought a dozen or so inexpensive (and mostly goofy) gifts and Bob wrapped them. To heighten the excitement, Bob took all the wrapped boxes, put it in a larger box and wrapped that as well.
My sister went buck wild over her little tchochkes - a kit to help you interpret dreams, Kermit the Frog candy canes, a rubber duckie, a gag gift burro/cigarette dispenser (guess where the cigarettes come out of on the burro?) and a radio that looks like a jukebox, and a solar garden figure of a turtle. She also got a beaded herringbone chain in Christmas red, which looks almost exactly like it's made of red licorice.
I got a lovely sweatsuit and some pieces of paper with dead presidents on them. Hooray! Dead Presidents = more beads for me!
We then called for Chinese Food, which arrived promptly and in huge quantities. Silence descended over Mom's house for a half hour while we all mowed through the food like an invading army through France. By the time dinner was winding down, the stories were already starting.
Bob, who is still foolish after all these years, tried to correct some "factual" detail in one of the stories, and was roundly booed for his efforts. He then kicked back in the recliner and listened to the rest of us hone our storytelling abilities. Old standards were brought out, like the days that the grandchildren were born, as well as ones that are so horrible that your sides hurt laughing: a woman who pooped in my sister's new Cadillac, a terrified first time flyer that threw up all over me, the amazing propensity of all aged and troublesome pets relocating to a "farm in Maine, where there is lots of room to run around, and people that don't mind if they mess in the house." (That farm must be awfully crowded by now)
At about 6 p.m., Bob gave me The Look. I glanced in a mirror and discovered that I match a matte white delica quite well, and that resting would probably be a good course of action. DD was pretty pooped as well, with her flu and all.
We gave hugs and kisses all around, packed up the cars, and headed off toward home. I'm not sure if we were even out of the driveway before I had fallen asleep in the car.
Very Beady and Very, very satisfying.
Your Intrepid Reporter,
Kathy N-V