OFF TOPIC - pierced ears

I second this. but I'll add anything hypoallergenic. I have metal allergies so I have to where the good stuff or anything from simplywhispers.com they are wonderful. I have never had any issues whearing their jewelery, and they have a nice kids section.

-Margaret

I suspect she'll move to making her own quickly!

\>> We ended up making our own earrings too, for years during school, when

If she does, make sure the posts contain no nickel - that is the metal most commonly that sets up an allergic reaction.

Mirjam,

The issue of choosing one's battles means that you major on the majors and minor on the minors, and don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Some things are truly minor in the long run and not worth making a major stink about, and other things are more important.

For example, lining young children up for a Spanish Inquisition type of interrogation for one missing pen, fork, battery, or whatever other equally trivial, easily misplaced by anybody, and equally replaceable item you may think of is overkill and not a battle that any sensible parent should choose to make a major issue of, but things like illegal drugs and other things that can cause major damage to one's health are more important to enforce rigorously.

Well said Melinda. Parenting must be easier in other countries. C

Ditto on the well said.

As to parenting being easier, I strongly doubt that. As a matter of fact, I suspect that in a place that is under constant threat of annihilation, it's even harder.

Lucille

Why does that just seem wrong?

Cheryl Parenting is the same all over the world we try to give the best we can and hope for the best , But some of us have different opinions as to what is valuable for life.

Well Melinda , my culture tells me that he who disrepects a penny will never have a pound !!! And anyway Educationg is Not about battles it is about example , speaking listening wishing , In education there are no molehills nore mountains every thing is a matter to understand ,,, to learn from, both parents and kids ,,, mirjam ote:

Well, raising a child is more than mere education in my book; it is developing a relationship with them as well. Nevertheless, I don't know of any country that punishes petty thieves in exactly the same way that they punish murderers, and in the same vein, raising a child not every single issue is a life-or-death matter that necessitates massive punishment for an infraction. I would not punish a child who lost a pencil. I would not *punish* a child who carelessly broke a pane of glass, although if they were old enough I would have them help with replacing it if it was not done by a professional and I would also have them do chores or whatever to cover at least part of the cost of replacing it if they had done this before and should have known better (I had one child who broke glass panes 4 or 5 times). Those are minor issues, and some parents get so hung up on them that they do the equivalent of swatting a fly with a sledgehammer. That does not help the child; it only crushes them and kills their spirit.

Show me a perfect child, and I will show you a parent who has blinders on who is raising someone who will become a spoiled brat. All children will need to be disciplined at some point. If you have major punishments for minor infractions, the intelligent child will say, "Well, if I'm going to get grounded for a month for coming in 5 minutes late or 4 hours late, I might as well come in 4 hours late," thus defeating the purpose of asking them to come home on time.

I'm told that the sort of stuff we have on TV here does affect parenting vis-a-vis countries that keep the smut/violence down or perhaps don't have much TV at all.

I have friends in Jamaica, which we think of as being a relatively civilized country, who are absolutely amazed at the fact that we have so many broadcast channels and that they are on the air 24 hours a day. They were telling me about a big national songwriting competition that was televised, taking up pretty much the whole day -- no US network would devote that much time to amateur songwriters who know the key to winning is to write something patriotic/historic. For that event, TV went on-air earlier than usual that day.

And my cousin did a medical mission in Africa, and found that most of her patients had no access to TV at all. Much easier to make your children learn from *you* what is acceptable behavior when the only people they see to model from are other family members (tribes being interrelated).

They don't see the doctors on M*A*S*H drinking to excess, they don't see the conspicuous consumption on almost every show, they don't see the lawyers on L.A. Law "doing it" in their offices (I worked in law offices for 20 years, and no one I ever worked with did "it" in their office. They may have rented a motel room and did "it" on lunch hour, but offices do not have locks, and the senior partner feels free to burst in on you at any time whether the door is closed or not). If they don't see these things portrayed as acceptable on TV, it's much easier for you to convince them that it's not acceptable behavior.

I didn't say you had to get them. Just talk about it. And the more embarrassing, the better. I think you'd look lovely with "Red Hot Mama" just above your cleavage. ;) And I think just suggesting that would make your DS faint dead away.

I learned a long time ago to never second guess a teenager, especially a boy.

Don't you think a gorgeous dragon, with it's tail curling down into the cleavage would look better?? Maybe a pair of them!

First, I need cleavage to put it on

LOL! Because if you look at it a different way it's like saying, "Do as I say, not as I do!" And we all know how *that* goes!

Joan

Mirjam, you aren't arguing about substance here, just about style; the ladies responding to you actually agree with you and vice versa; you shouldn't get upset about a colloquialism.

"Pick your battles" simply means to prioritize...and believe me, 'parenting" and "teaching" are NOT synonyms, exactly!

Parenting involves so much more than 'teaching,' and as a teacher and a mother myself, believe me; I know this very well indeed. Parenting encompases teaching---and protection and loving and all the other stuff as well. Sometimes being a parent means that you have to allow the child to learn from his or her own mistakes. Sometimes it means that the consequences of a wrong decision are so bad that you simply cannot allow the child to MAKE that decision if you can possibly prevent it, and *that* is what 'picking your battles' means.

Parenting IS about battles, and molehills, and mountains. It's about, first, keeping your child alive until he or she reaches adulthood. Second, keeping your child healthy. Third, keeping your child educated in your moral, ethical and cultural preferences. That's our job as parents, in exactly that order.

When you realize this, you know that sometimes there really ARE battles...and battles that you, as a parent, had better be prepared to go all out to win, because the result of your losing are unthinkable. If you lose them, you and your child both lose. If you win, you both win.

Good points, Ericka. I had mine done when I was in 6th grade. IIRC, it was kind of a belated b-day present - I was 10 turning 11. And my DM's younger sister (the aunt that quilts) was a surgeon, so my DA did the piercing in the office. My DM had hers done a few months later. But, the folks were quite insistent that they be properly cared for, and I only had smallish "real" earrings (still have some lovely, tiny, antique hoops) after the original studs came out. Now for the other part - why Ericka's comment struch home. Almost immediately after having my ears piereced, I broke the first of the 2 serially broken arms. Which meant that my DF had to take care of the cleaning, spinning, etc of my newly pierced ears. My DM was too queasy to deal with it. (the arm cast was quite huge - up to the cap at my shoulder).

Anyhow, it's the combination of being responsible, being able to take care, and also being a bit careful with the earrings when young.

Plus, tell DD - she'll have to be sure her helmet earpieces are in... Big jewelry has to be taped down!

Ellice - just cruising in for a quick hi, hope all are well, and heading off to bed now