Ok, last night, it was shaping up to be a quiet morning - a bit of housework, maybe read, stitch or work in the garden and then get DS to hockey - for the high school.
Last night around 7:30 PM, just I was going to call in DH's meds, the phone rings. DS has torn his ONLY pair of jeans and needs pants. Dad is having dinner with friends. Mumble, I haven't even had dinner yet. Get DD dressed and find some shoes and a pair of shorts for him and drive to the rink. Inspect torn pants - sure they just split - during some sort of horseplay, from waist band to crotch.
So, shortly, I'll take a shower, vacuum and go see if I can find another pair or three of jeans....
Grumble.
That said, remember all my misgivings last year. So far, grades are good, the moodiness has lessened and he's a good boy to his mother other than not recycling the endless bottles of Gatorade and chocolate milk post rink time.
LOL - boys will be boys. Uh huh. You should've told him - that's what hockey tape is for..... Get used to it. The hockey pranks get better as they get older - so DH says. And I've heard some doozies from our friends that made it to the bigs, or even the minors.
Once, years ago, when I still worked at the lab, another female engineer friend of mine worked in a group whose leader was socially an idiot. Short, round, not attractive, and addicted to disco dancing - would dirve to NY during the week to dance - and come home at all hours. You don't want to know about the gross stuff we found when we had to fix his official laptop (including the girlfriend's homework). Anyhow - to the split pants point. My firend goes over there for some team meeting in his large office. She notices the secretary has a pair of trousers laying over the arm of a chair in the ante-room. Hmmm. She then goes into the idiot's office - as she approaches his desk - he says "don't get too close - I split my pants and so I'm in my underwear. I gave them to XXXX to fix" . My friend said somehting like "Jeez - that's something I don't want to see. Then another one of the guys walks in , my friend in disgust says - Y--- split his pants
- shaking her head. Then the sevretary comes in, says "I'm not doing this"
- then the boss who's group my friend has already moved to comes in. With some sense - says essentially "what the heck is going on - calls the guy an ass, and goes out, grabs a stapler, comes back with the pants, and proceeds to staple the seam closed - from zip thru crotch to waistband. Evidently the handful of younger engineers were hysterical. Then he tells the idiot to put on his pants - which the guy does - without even warning them - so my friend turns around going yuck. The meeting starts - and within a few minutes RRRIIIIPPPPPP-pop pop pop - as staples go flying. So the meeting ended.
Weired thing - this is a federal gov research facility. This is a pretty senior guy. Technically pretty smart. But just gross - thought himself a ladies man, and we were just astounded by the evident hordes of desperate
40-50 something women interested in him - couldn't figure it.
So, I told my attorney the story - as this happened while I was in the midst of the EEO action. The attorney was astounded and just looked up saying $50K with no trouble. I yelled at my friend for not immediately just walking out -as the behaviour was so disrespectful to her, to the guys as well, and not to mention clearly illegal. I think the guy ended up being reprimanded and had to go for some kind of counseling. It was, however, funny as heck.
Never ends. DH got some new Eddie Bauer outdoorsy kind of refined cargo pants. He was going to some class and they were going to do the full day outdoors team building exercise. Comes home from his week away - the brand new pants - all the belt loops have ripped through the pants leaving large holes between the waist band and tush area. Oh - well, gee - I guess when we were doing the pulling together thing - well, ummm - since I was the "strong" one - ummm, we tied a rope through the belt loops, and well, there were a bunch of people pulling it. My question - you couldn't have the rope just around you - and why weren't they just holding on to you. I suggested he should turn in for reimbursement - but he didn't. It's guys. I just try to remember to have back-up extra jeans for DH, because somehow there is a constant rotation of them getting mysteriously ripped to a point that they're not really wearable in public.
That's pretty good. Don't get your hopes up about the recycling. Maybe it's a goalie thing. DH's bags - ref, goalie, skater - the empty bottles are always either in them, or in the car.
How old is that son again? And if you've gotten him in better shape, PLEASE send me some advice - my soon to be 13 yo ds is driving me crazy with his moodiness, sometimes mean behavior, forgetfulness and general lack of cooperation! (BTW - we did discover one punishment that works
- misbehavior can result in having an adult with you at all times - not fun at this age!)
Okay, this is going to sound stupid but... perhaps cut out the sugar in his diet (as much as you can--obviously he'll sneak some out of doors), make sure he has plenty of protein to eat, and make him sleep more?
I don't have a teenager, but I know I react very badly emotionally to sugar, hunger (I'm hypoglycemic and when I crash, it ain't pretty), and/or lack of sleep--and I can see that pattern in myself from a young age.
In any case, it might be a few things to experiment with.
Actually, we do keep the sugar to a minimum and feed him plenty of protein - he's eating two dinners most nights because he's growing so fast (6-8" this year). The sleep is a bit harder - he's at that night owl stage and some nights has trouble falling asleep. We keep hm active, lots of physical activity, that helps. But that's for the good thoughts!
More hints from someone watching from the sidelines who isn't a parent, and library employee working next to a k - 8 school where kids hang out in the afternoons. Think of it as a teen version of menopause! :-))) The teen years are when the human brain gets completely rewired, as well as hormones doing odd things to one's body. Even skills like "expression recognition" get screwed up. Our Young Adult coordinater read a study where teens of different ages were shown pictures of adults with different expressions - sadness, anger, happiness, fear, etc. and there was a certain age at which they seemed to lose the ability to differentiate between them. They would consistently see "angry" and read it as "sad". Since they weren't recognizing the expressions, they weren't giving the appropriate responses. NOT to say that they can't combine expression with common sense and auditory signals (the use of one's complete first and middle names at a high volume, for example) :-) to come up with what they know is the correct response, only that the signals their brains are sending them don't always make sense - to them or to adults around them.
We're lucky at the library (small & rural) in that we're not asking much of them, so we frequently get the smiles and good manners that seem to desert them at home. :-)) Don't despair & don't give up on them. Most of them get better in a few years & actually turn into pretty good husband material. Liz from Humbug
I think of teens as toddlers on a bigger plane...the same issues of independence, testing limits, permanance, "ME! MINE! BECAUSE I SAID/WANT IT!" Sound familiar? The problem is, the stakes are so much higher in the teen years.
My sympathies to you. Remember, this too shall pass. I know you have to suffer through it. My son was diffucult at 13. 8th grade, tallest boy in school, many girlfriends, hockey, phone, video games, not interested in homework, nor the family. I think they have so much to work out in their heads. I kept hugging and saying how much I love him.
I had to remind myself constantly that even though he was over 6 feet tall, looked like a man, he still was only a child, just becoming a teenager. Hormones, etc!
Well, time goes by and with constant direction by us parents and lotsa love, it evens out. My son ( he is 18 now, senior in HS) still plays hockey, is well mannered, a great student, great son. He actually hugs back now! :) I am proud of him. He still is forgetfull, and hates to help around the house. I guess we all have faults, but I am happy the way he turned out, he is looking at colleges now and I miss him already :(
I have two grown daughters. Both went insane at age 12 -- well, possibly not insane in a clinical way, but it was bad enough. Talk about your bouncing hormones....
I've often said that they should build state institutions that take children when they're 12, and send them back to you at age 21 (although oldest DD has just become bearable, and she's 34).
Thanks to all for your kind words. I know I'll make it through this - just like I made it through the first 18 months of my dd's life when she was a barnacle baby. But it's nice to know I have an assortment of extra sympathetic shoulders!
Big hugs coming from my house to yours. We have had a horrendous week as well and the family is still realing from it. Hopefully things will calm down for both of us this weekend.
ROFLMAO - the right color. Perfect. DH has gotten to the point where he holds up the jeans he's thinking of and asks if those are the right ones to wear for wherever we're going. Then - we have the shirt discussion. Because - the jeans have to be the right wash, and the right waistband - are they low rise, or mid-rise, - his "casual" baggier ones, or more "dressy" jeans, and then there are the ripped ones that have only limited uses...And can he wear an "outie" shirt, or is it an innie, and half the time I'll be saying - it's fine - just leave it out - as he's scrunched some polo shirt menat to be out into his jeans. Another goalie quirk.
Nest - my favorite question - "I won't look like BlueBoy if I wear this shirt/sweater with these jeans? It's not too grey or blue or ...?" Usually he's just fine - and certainly picks out his own clothes for work. But, when we're going out - going to the CAPS games is a social event, too - we go through getting the dressy casual look in jeans. Anyhow - I just burst out laughing because this all stems from a couple of years back when he put on some polo shirt that was the almost exact color of the jeans - and I told him he looked like an extra from the Blue Man group (he did - without the hoodie thing). So, now, he's become a PITA asking all the time. And what's worse - if I say - just grab the blue & black chenille sweater - he'll then question me - are you sure it's not too blue... I won't look like blueman - or a blueberry.
Actually, I should say - DH is pretty intelligent, and quite competent on his own - it's kind of endearing - and I think this comes from the "I'm a boy, what do I know" point of view, and his having been a bachelor well into his 30s. Plus - he does clean up really well - so is actually pretty conscientious about his "good" clothes. Just the jean thing cracks me up - and I can totally see Kurt worrying about which "color" ... Of course, if you ever watch TLC's "What Not to Wear" - you'll start noticing as well.
The US version is a longer show, and there's more background and detail about what isn't working, and what will & why. But, they're really good about telling people what type of jeans/fit should work for them. I think people either hate them or love them. In this household we love them. Plus, the woman, Stacie, has the best legs on some nice Jewish girl from NY that I've ever seen - so I'm completely jealous. I do think they're a bit unreasonable on the heels for shoes, but they do point out that you can be comfortable in clothes/shoes that look good - if you buy things that fit, and if you need tailoring - get it. I remember as a kid/teen - sometimes clothes had to be hemmed, or sleeves/cuffs adjusted. We've become so ready-to-wear that people forget those little details can make the difference in how something suits you, and are pretty easy to take care of.
InspirePoint website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here.
All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.