At Knit's End

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Lydia Kendrick 21 years ago

This was in the latest Lion Brand newsletter. I thought it was cute!

You Know You Knit Too Much ... 1. ...when "just one more row" becomes the front or back, or sleeve before stopping. 2. ...when you rate desirability of family vacation spots on how many yarn shops are in the vicinity. 3. ...when you want to be buried with a knitting work in process in your hands, and extra yarn and needles in the casket, "just in case..." 4. ...when every boy scout in the troop hides when you show up with a new pair of socks... 5. ...when your dog is depressed because HE used to be in your lap every night instead of your knitting project. 6. ...when you keep a list of movies where the characters knit. 7. ...when you crave yarn, not chocolate, when you are having a bad day. 8. ...when you've considered starting a support group called S.A.B.L.E. (Stash Accrued Beyond Life's Expectancy) 9. ...when you forget your lunch but remember your knitting project. 10. ...when your best friend takes a "dream of a lifetime" trip to New Zealand & the only thing you ask her when she returns is "How much yarn did you buy?" 11. ...when you remember new cities you've visited on vacation by the yarn that you bought there 12. ...when your husband complains about the knitting needles under your pillow. 13. ...when you have several totes, containing projects in various states of completion, scattered around the house so you can work on a project wherever you happen to be. 14. ...when you knit your noodles with your chopsticks at Panda Express. 15. ...when you put a cable stitch in your daughter's hair. 16. ...when you only have an hours worth of knitting to go before you finish your project so you decide to take it to work the next morning and knit it before anyone else arrives. ahhhh ... finished! 17. ...when you buy a movie DVD just so you can pause and focus on a knitted piece you want to recreate. 18. ...when there are no more audiobooks left at the library for you to listen to while you knit. 19. ...when you only watch movies on DVD because it's too dark to knit in the theater. 20. ...when you look forward to getting sick enough to stay home from work so you can knit all day

...when you choose your pets by how well their fur will knit up 22. ...when you start eyeballing your cat, mentally measuring her for your next sweater project. 23. ...when your husband carries a list of needed knitting needles in his wallet, in case he needs an idea for a quick gift. 24. ...when you sign up to go to a really boring convention just so you can sit and knit during meetings. 25. ...when you don't take your "portable knitting" with you for cafeteria duty & all the kids want to know if your OK because you're NOT knitting! 26. ... when every store that sells yarn in your area knows you by NAME when you walk in. 27. ...when your husband offers to buy you steel-wool so you can knit him a Volkswagen. 28. ...when you see the doctor about carpal tunnel of the thumb. She tells you to stop knitting so much because there's no such thing and you tell her you can't do that. 29. ...when your sister vacations at the beach you go to in the summer and finds a new yarn shop. She then tries to talk the owner into hiring you for the week you are there so you can afford your yarn habit. 30. ...when your husband mentions pearls and you accuse him of not being able to spell. 31. ...when instead of a coffee table in your living room you have a big blanket box stuffed to the brim with yarn, 32. ...when on the way to the Emergency Room you stop for yarn and needles because you know you'll be waiting for a minimum of three hours. 33. ...when you are sitting on the couch in the family room with your 5-year-old grandson when he asks, "Grandma, did you knit this couch?" 34. ...when hanging out in yarn stores or yarn departments is your idea of a fun evening out. 35. ...when people come over to take photographs of you knitting at rock concerts. 36. ...when you buy a larger purse just so you can always carry a project with you. 37. ...when you have to have shoulder surgery due to repetitive motion injury from knitting and the first thing you do when the stitches heal is start a new project! 38. ...when you husband can no longer drift off on the couch in the evening, without the clicking of your knitting needles lulling him to sleep 39. ...when your friends come shopping for yarn at your house.
...when you switch to plastic needles even though you hate them so you can knit without the sound of "clicking" needles during meetings, concerts, and even Sunday School.

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Wooly 21 years ago

On Fri, 15 Apr 2005 18:10:26 -0500, Lydia Kendrick spewed forth :

I've also pretended to have forgotten my lunch when I in fact forgot my knitting. It gave me an excuse to run home and spin for 10 mins and I got to bring knitting back for the boring wait times while a database rebuilt itself or files schlepped themselves around.

We also berated her for only getting ONE COLOR CARD from a well-known Australian yarn mill, thus forcing us to pass it around. I now have my very own card...

I've also got 3 projects in the car for "stoplight and traffic jam" knitting. I'm not counting the various spinning projects, BTW.

We were talking about this today at my Friday knitting group. The general concensus is that knitting while sick is largely unproductive. All of us there were able to easily name a project on which we worked while sick and which we later had to rip back. Mindless knitknitknit work might fly while sick but when I'm feeling bad I generally don't want to do anything, including knit.

Only one?

Once made my husband wait curled up in the back of the car while I gathered enough work to make it through a good 8 hours in the ER. He had a kidney stone. We were only there for an hour but I packed for the day, much to his dismay.

Even worse is when they come scrounging through my oddball box and manage to find enough yarn of a single color to make a project. I've started splitting Opal with a friend - I like short socks, she's got small feet. Between us we almost use one ball for two pair of socks.

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Richard Eney 21 years ago

...when you subscribe to a brandname yarn newsletter? ;-)

It was only one...

:-)

But of course. Sometimes they don't print those nice big books of color stills from the film, and even when they do, they choose all the wrong scenes.

But it is... anyway, I've known people whose idea of a fun evening is a visit to the hardware store.

=Tamar

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Craftkitten (Darlene) 21 years ago

Thanks so much for this as I did enjoy it.

I have to admit that i complained this week that I didn't take my crocheting with me when I ended up in emergency for a gastric ulcer.

Gee at least I can crochet in a theatre and have a few times now when we have gone to see a movie.

DH enjoyed hearing some of these and he was laughing at #3 because he figured that it was something he would do for me because I always have stuff on the go.

Great reading and yes it was very cute.

Darlene in Toronto

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Yarn Forward 21 years ago

I know that advertising is not allowed, but you must read

At Knit's End, Meditations from Women who Knit Too Much by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, The Yarn Harlot.

It is sold in good book stores and yarn stores. It is hilarious, and even as a male knitter, I can relate to this one. Also Stephanie is a wonderful person. You can also check out her web site at

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Roger.

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spampot 21 years ago

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Noreen's Knit*che 21 years ago

I HAVE a signed copy, gratis FROM my good friend Steph (yarn harlot) JM2C, Noreen

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At Knit's End

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