On 't' and OT (knitting and groaning)

Noreen, STOP giving unappreciative people your beautiful hand-crafted gifts! THen you won't have as many headaches.

Higs, Katherine

Hah. My MIL suggested a few weeks ago that I really ought to buy gifts this year even though I do "beautiful handicrafts".

I bought her a lump of coal :P

LOL How hateful of her! And I wish you HAD done that.

Higs, Katherine

YarnWright skrev:

Hej Noreen!

I stopped giving handcrafted gifts to my mother many years ago for this same reason. I try to send my work where I *know* it will be appreciated and mostly have succeeded. I've been touched over the years by having friends show me things I made them 20 years or more ago and telling me how much they *treasure* these items. That more than makes up for ignorant comments from rude people who don't know how to accept a gift greatfully.

Erin (I hope this makes sense; I have the flu now and am stopped full of over the counter meds as well!)

I really believe you did!

LOL,

Hesira

WoolyGooly wrote:

I'm sorry you've got a headache.

This year I made socks and scarves for all my inlaws, and my mom & dad. I know my folks will be appreciative, but I'm pretty sure my (step) MIL will not appreciate the Branching Out I made her. I used really fine yarn and tried to make it as beautiful as possible. She has never acknowledged a single gift I've given her, but I'm trying to take the high road.

Be proud of your beautiful work, and if it upsets you so much, don't give her the power to hurt you. IOW, don't give her your handmade treasures.

Hugs,

Hesira

YarnWright wrote:

Branching Out is a gorgeous scarf. I know I wouldn't spend my precious energy making something that beautiful for someone that ungrateful. Taking the high road would be buying her something you think she'd use/like and saving your energy for those who appreciate it.

I've pared down a lot on gift giving. For instance, my son and his wife have everything they could possibly need, same with me. We ended up always giving each other gift cards from stores. I hate that. So I suggested really nicely that if it wouldn't hurt their feelings, could we discontinue exchanging gifts, and it was fine with them. However, I must mention that a few years ago she asked if I would make her an Aran sweater for Christmas. I said I would, but at the time she asked there was no way I would finish it in time. I explained that, and wrapped up a sleeve for her to open. I finished the sweater in February, and she loved it. It fit beautifully, and she still has it. She keeps it in beautiful shape and seems quite proud of it. That's the kind of knitting I love doing. My daughter, sister and husband all love my hand knitted socks - so they always get some as a gift.

Just my 2 cents.

Shelagh

My MIL is the master of backhanded compliments and other "polite" sorts of insults.

I've got a lump of coal for her, and I have a receipt to prove it's purchased and not scrounged. I hit the most expensive jewelry store in town and bought one of their very nice boxes. I bought a single sheet of handmade paper to wrap the box with, and I've used bits of dirty wool to pad the coal so it doesn't rattle in the box.

I'm tucking *all* the receipts - coal, box, paper - into the box, too.

Maybe she'll shut up now...

So sorry about the MIL. Ungratefulness is precisely why I have only ever made my husband one item in all the years we've been together, and he knows it.

OTOH, this year I decided to make gifts for just about everyone else. My family does a gift exchange with folks back home in Wisconsin, and they all love when I get their names; they know it's gonna be something nice and usually hand knit. This year I went one better. I made a felted bag for one aunt Kathy (I have 3 aunts Kathy) and a wool scarf for my uncle Gus; these are the two whose names I had. There is one couple, my uncle Jim and aunt Kathie (this is #2, even if it's spelled wrong ), for whom I've never made anything. I made Jim a blue wool scarf, and I made a lacy leaf scarf for Kathie in a nice forest green. I know everyone will love what I made them.

I made a purple and turquoise felted bag for my SIL Cyndi, the Branching Out scarf in purple for my sister Kellie, and a jacket for my mom. I'm currently working on a jacket for my dad, and I hope to have it done before we do the family gift exchange around New Year's; I had to order the yarn I wanted, and by the time the yarn was in I had misplaced the magazine with the pattern, so I just got started on it this past weekend. If I had more time I'd whip up another bag for my niece and something for my brother and BIL, but they'll have to wait :-)

The Other Kim kimagreenfieldatyahoodotcom

Good for you.

I'm new here ...

... and English

Mary

I hear you Shilegh. I made the scarf this summer while I was "sick knitting". I couldn't do much else at the time, and my inlaws are impossible to shop for, so I thought I'd give it to her regardless of her reaction (or lack thereof). So it relieved the stress of buying for them. To me it wasn't a waste of time, as I learned about lace knitting, and used lovely yarn (Blue Sky Alpaca & Silk). I guess I could have kept it for myself, but it seemed to fit the bill for stepMIL. I DO know my real MIL will love the one I made for her, and I'm guessing all the sock recipents will be delighted with their gifts. All in all, the Christmas knitting (really my 1st time to do it) was pleasurable and I learned a lot. I wouldn't have given the gifts I did, if I was really worried or heavily invested in their reactions to them.

But I'll take your 2 cents, anyway!

Hesira :)

Shillelagh wrote:

YarnWright spun a FINE 'yarn':

Thanks everyone, my friends, who've responded. You're right, I've enabled her the power to hurt, and I'm just not going to do it anymore. Hugs, Noreen

Mary Fisher spun a FINE 'yarn':

Welcome, Mary! Noreen in Tennessee, USA

YarnWright spun a FINE 'yarn':

I could add that I'm of German, Irish and Polish descent. Noreen still in TN, USA, tho! grin!

"Mary Fisher" skrev i melding news:45885300$0$765$ snipped-for-privacy@master.news.zetnet.net...

Hi Mary! Welcome! I'm Norwegian.

AUD ;-)) alrefsnesathotmaildotcom

"YarnWright" skrev i melding news: snipped-for-privacy@newsgate.x-privat.org...

Noreen, Don't give anything to people you are not sure will LOVE to get your work! I send "antiheadache waves to you!" (but don't trust me, cannot even get rid of my own! LOL! AUD ;-)

I don't know what 'English' means :-)

Thanks for the welcome.

Mary

Noreen, Please don't bother sending your mother anything more hand-made. It would be one thing if she appreciated the time and effort put in to making your lovely items, even if they weren't quite to her taste, but it sounds like she doesn't even extend her thinking that far. If you haven't been able to enlighten her so far, you may as well concede that you never will. It's not your fault; some people just don't get it. If you were sending a 'box of gifts,' I'm sure the felted purse was not the only thing designated for her, so it's not like you weren't sending her a gift at all. Next year, send her a gift certificate to a store in her area, and tell her you thought you'd let her pick her own gift so she gets something she likes.

Now, here's some cyber-aspirin and a hug. Look on the bright side; since you're sending a box with gifts, you're not spending Christmas at her house, right?

TTFN, Carey in MA

A little Pict, a little Norse, a little Saxon, a little Franq, a little Roman (and by derivation a little Asian and a little African)...

Go back far enough and we're all related :D