I was very lucky. Birthday was always separated from Christmas and never combined. Til I became an adult.
Last year my husband gave me different parts of the dremel and accessories. A different piece for each holiday. Of course I'm scared to use the drill press and the saws. But I use the drill bits for my clay. lol
On Wed, 18 Aug 2004 10:58:57 -0400, Candace~ wrote (in message ):
Oh boy. Manda's birthday is 12/10, and we always made a big freaking deal out of making sure that the two events were always kept separate. We don't decorate for Christmas or put up a tree until after the tenth.
One person gave Manda a "combination gift," and I had a huge hissy fit. Birthdays are a huge occasion to a kid, and I would never deny a kid their birthday celebration simply because they were born on a specific date. It's like saying, "Sorry, your birthday is on Groundhog's day, so you're outta luck."
It's not about money - there were many years where we were struggling, and we still managed to keep the two occasions separate. It's about respect, and looking at things from the kid's point of view. (Can you tell you've hit one of my huge hot buttons?)
Kathy N-V
Gee, Not at all, Kathy:) I suppose I figured out the best way to deal with it myself--by the time I was ten, I quit asking for toys, and only asked for clothing. Forexample--I'd ask for a certain shirt for my birthday, and the matching pants for Christmas. It got me over the whole issue.
Of course, there is the matter of the Easy Bake Oven--I started asking for that when I was 7 years old, and I finally got it--for my 17th birthday. My parents have an interesting sense of humour. Darian and I use it now to make brownies, LOL!
That is awesome. I'm glad you treat Manda like that. It makes it a double special month that way. My nephew was born on the 10th also.
Yup, lots of us here. Pete and I are both Scorpios. And happy.
Tina
Hey, that sounds like Sooz (Nov 27).
Tina
I love it!
Stephanie
JoAnn -
BTDT. Therapy has really helped. Never forgive or forget, but no longer allow that incident to take up too much real estate in my mind.
Sending you strength... Barbara
I like that very much - taking it with me to my therapist's appt. today.
Barbara
Oh just what I need - more stuff occupying my cerebral real estate! As if my ADD isn't bad enuff! ;-)
vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from snipped-for-privacy@aol.comnospam (LC aka Fiddy) :
]I just keep telling people that dh and I are making different mistakes than our ]parents did, and why should our dd be denied the thrill of therapy when all her ]friends are doing it? ROFL... ] ]Thing I've learned is that we ALL have something that we need to learn to move ]past the wounds the world leaves on us as children.
i'm not putting down the damage parents can do. but at some point in our lives, we have to put it behind us and decide that what we do and how we behave is our own responsibility, and quit playing the blame game.
yes, there are parents who should NOT be. but **in general** most parents do the best they can with what they have for their kids.
my mother has been berating herself for not seeing that most of the SIX of us kids have either chronic depression, ADD, or some combination of the two. we undoubtedly inherited it from my dad. but that's silly, because 'back then' NO ONE recognized those things. and if they HAD, they were expected to deal with it - not find someone else to blame.
our ADD never had the 'hyperactive' component. just a 'different way of being able to learn' that we learned to deal with as we were growing up. it wasn't until the stress level in my life caused a near-total breakdown that the ADD broke through and started screwing up my life. that's hardly my parents fault - either of them - aside from genetics. instead of taking pills, i'd like to find a concrete way to get my days back under control. but pills are cheaper, in this case.
most of us [and my kids included] want to do things different/better than we think our parents did. but it doesn't mean we won't make other/different mistakes. i sure did! not better, necessarily, and not necessarily worse - just different. none of us is perfect. we can't be - we're HUMAN. and what we think we're doing may feel different to the child involved. when do we stop playing the 'blame game' and figure out how to deal with what we have and move on?
Jalynne seems to. Kathy seems to. I'm trying. You're trying. but it feels like *society as a whole* always has to have someone to blame.
and i'm probably not making sense and rambling. feel free to ignore!
----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)
vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Karen_AZ" :
] most ]likely I'd have clued in before I had my kids, and I wouldn't trade them for ]all the honesty in the world.
seconded!
----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)
vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Karen_AZ" :
] most ]likely I'd have clued in before I had my kids, and I wouldn't trade them for ]all the honesty in the world.
exactly!!!!
----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)
vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from Kathy N-V :
]We don't decorate for Christmas or put up a tree until ]after the tenth.
we did that with my oldest - and her day is 12/1. she just always wished they were spread out more so everything didn't happen in December. now, my grandson's birthday is on 12/23 . . . and they make sure to keep them separate. as a matter of fact, they go out of their way to make a bigger deal of birthdays than Christmas. of course, he's only five, so i don't know he makes a distinction yet.
----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)
vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "~Candace~" :
]Of course, there is the matter of the Easy Bake Oven--I started asking for ]that when I was 7 years old, and I finally got it--for my 17th birthday. My ]parents have an interesting sense of humour.
Daddy was like that, too. i got a doll for Christmas, of some kind, up to and including the year i was 16. and that was the year i got the Chemistry set i'd always asked for!
he was the one who bought me my first nylons, my first real jewelry box, and many of my teddy bears.
----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)
vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "JoAnn Paules" :
]He truly is! And he's so quiet that most people never notice ]him................except me :-)
us Scorpios make everyone seem "quiet"???????
----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)
vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Christina Peterson" :
]Yup, lots of us here. Pete and I are both Scorpios. And happy.
both of you??????? i can't imagine living with someone like me!!!!!!! but Pete's such a sweetie, too . . . . . which 'Scorpio' traits do you both have?
----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)
You made perfect and eloquent sense, Vj.
Two Scorpios can be fun or it can be miserable. I dated one for a while - it was fun. ;-)
He truly is tho. Most people don't notice him - and he prefers that. He's a quiet observer. I'm glad that women didn't see him because I'm the lucky woman who shares his life.
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