OT: Forgiving/Letting Go and junk

DH was in his late 20's when he was diagnosed.

B.

Sounds l;ike it might not matter. Did your Kevin ever wrestle? (If she says yes, I'm gonna sh*t!)

I LOVE HUGS!!!!

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "JoAnn Paules" :

]I LOVE HUGS!!!!

good! cuz there's lots around here!

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "JoAnn Paules" :

]Sounds l;ike it might not matter. Did your Kevin ever wrestle? (If she says ]yes, I'm gonna sh*t!)

no - i've met SOOZ's Kevin. for a minute i thought you were talking about him. and then i got completely confuzzled....................sorry! been one of those WEEKS around here!

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

I've read some marvelous things about Sooz's Kevin but since I've seen his picture, I know he's not the same Kevin as the one I knew.

That's how I feel about talking about my mother here. I often feel, too, that what happened between my mother & me is too small. It's not sexual abuse, it's not beatings that leave broken bones, it's not....a lot of things.

But it has pretty much ruined my life. I'm happy much of the time now, but up til age 44 I was a total mess all the time, and I still battle depression. Kevin and I both think it ruined my health, too. So to me, it isn't small. It's a 4 year old child who never, ever feels safe. My mother's mood swings were completely unpredictable, and violent in numerous ways, not all of them physical. (Though I left home at 18 because she'd started slapping me across the face.)

However, I feel okay talking about it here. I don't feel unworthy, you know? I feel okay.

~~ Sooz

HAW! I knew without looking that this was Candace! ~~ Sooz

Haw! (At least it isn't dusty....it's in boxes and drawers...) ~~ Sooz

Probably not the same age, to begin with. ~~ Sooz

It's not as uncommon as you think, it's a fear of success. If we do something right then we can't be the wastes of space we've been told we are, so we reinforce the image we already have of ourselves. Lots of people have fear of failure but many more have fear of success and a problem with finishing work.

I really don't know. I wouldn't be who I am which may mean I wouldn't be as creative, since my creativity came out of trying to find a way to work out my inner problems. I don't know if I would be any better or worse at what I do, I do know that I'm my own worst enemy in finishing things because I never can bring myself to believe that what I do has value.

-Su

My (former) Kevin wiill be 50 on November 10. OH MY!!! I'll have to drop him an email.

My second sister doesn't want to contribute to the commercialization of Christmas and so doesn't observe that side of it. I feel real sorry for her kids for that. But she believes a birthday is much more important, because it celebrates the life of that individual. I don't advocate giving no Xmas presents, but I do agree that ignoring the coming of life to an individual (just because their birthday is near Christmas) is disrespectful.

Tina

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "~Candace~" :

]hughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughugh ]ughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughu ]ghughughughughughug

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "JoAnn Paules" :

]I've read some marvelous things about Sooz's Kevin

they're all true.

] but since I've seen his ]picture, I know he's not the same Kevin as the one I knew.

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

In looking at various responses to "forgive and forget it" in all it's variations, I think a lot of how we define "forgive and forget". To me "forgive" just means let it go and don't carry it around. I think most of us advocate that, and that disagreements here are just on semantics.

Tina

Youre on to something. How do each of us define 'forgiveness'? My understanding of the word means that in achieving forgiveness gives me freedom in some sense, not absolution for the bad person or their actions. Diana

message

NOPE, you made perfect sense to me! I resisted changing the way I thought because a shrink type was trying to get me to 'CONFESS' that it was my parents bad parenting that messed up the way I still think as an adult. Pish-posh. I carry baggage because I haven't put it down yet, but am starting to. My parents did their best. They actually did a great job, considering. I have to undo what I tell MYSELF about how they acted and reacted with and to me....I'm sure that by trying to protect me from the kind of fatal events that befell my brother, they didn't mean to deliver the message that I was 'less than competent'.

The Blessed Fiddy, Patroness Saint of the Disorganized LC in Sunny So Cal Personality Development Specialist (Full-Time Mom!)