OT: I need some advice

Starlia, I know what you're going through. My ex knew the same thing about me... He didn't like to travel... But after a while, he hated when I went places without him. It was awful. I felt trapped, which made me need to go even more.

Well, I left him a few years ago. Now I can come and go as I please, without guilt or issues. We are closer now than ever. In fact, today is our 26th anniversary. Yes, we're still married, though we live apart.

I guess what I'm saying is you have to do what you have to do for yourself. When you have that kind of thing eating away at you and burning in your soul, you have to address it. Those who love us understand. Those who don't.... well... they get left behind. And I don't mean physically left behind.

We have one life. We have to live it to the utmost. I refuse to be a martyr like the women in my life have been. I do what I must and make no excuses. But I'm also willing to deal with the consequences. And there are ALWAYS consequences.

Tink

It's not only risks but opportunity as well but I'm guessing that there still would be a market for a woman's travel guide.

Most of the time fear is simply not knowing. BUT, you are a woman and I'm somewhat relieved to hear that you know how to protect yourself from physical harm.

See that? That is the sort of information that makes for a great travel guide. You're a natural.

There's an idea. California isn't terribly off the beaten path to Mexico, you know? You already have an invite I see. :=))

I guess I was born with that wanderlust in my soul. I have never felt home unless it was my hometown. There are so many memories there it's even hard for me to visit. Both good memories and sad memories. My first love is now buried there alongside my grandparents. We never let go of one another, we just knew I'd never be who I am if I had stayed. I knew when I was little I needed to travel. I've been doing my own thing ever since.

Can you imagine when I was pregnant the second time around XH and I decided to pack up and move to Alaska? That's the kind of wanderlust I'm talking about. We just packed up that little rathole of a car, had a few bucks, slept in the car with DD no. 1 and had a blast. I'd do it all over again on a wing and a prayer, which was all we had. Then instead of moving like normal out of Alaska in February, I decided we were driving out and going to make the most of it. It was scary, great, cold, lonely, and wonderful! If you have never been in Canada or Alaska when everything is closed down for winter, well you are missing a true experience. Just be sure to have gas cans filled up tied onto the truck. (Yes, my idea and boy did we need them.)

DH has never felt left behind because he goes on his hunting trips which don't fulfill my need to travel. I love being in the great outdoors and all, but it's just plain boring to sit still so long. He does his own thing and I do mine. Occassionally we do things together and it's always a blast.

There are so many good things about San Miguel. I've been trying to talk DH into buying a house there for our retirement. He doesn't even like Mexico, but if I ever got him to San Miguel I'm sure he would feel different.

California is way off the beaten path by San Miguel. It's in central Mexico and about a 12 hour trip from Laredo. Get on the bus at 6:30 p.m. and 12 hours later you are in San Miguel. The ticket is about $50 and it's all in luxury. You have a large reclining seat and individual TV and video player. Way too cheap to not go by bus. Beside, you don't have to get off the beaten path by way of Mexico City.

I just heard about the rental. They have a cancellation. Any takers to go with me? Only for a week in heaven. It's in the mountains, close to the silver mines, and it's breathtakingly beautiful.

I'm so glad my hubby likes to travel as much as I do. We hope to someday visit many different places all over the globe.

F no, I want you all to myself (although we can go see Beki).

Becki "In between the moon and you, the angels have a better view of the crumbling difference between wrong and right." -- Counting Crows

Well, I got the white bedroom put together today. It is perfect for a guest! I can sleep on the couch in front of the fire, and Starlia can sleep in the angel's bedroom (that is what it looks like to me). It is very nice. Can't hardly wait to get the office put together now.

Becki "In between the moon and you, the angels have a better view of the crumbling difference between wrong and right." -- Counting Crows

I would never take another's bed. There are so many nights I sleep on our couch it isn't even funny. As long as I'm warm, I'm happy.

Doing the bead circuit sounds like fun. I love the ocean air and mountain breezes. Let me look into it seriously. I would love to meet you all if you can put up with me.

Everyone's reality and what works for them is different. What seems unreasonable to one couple works perfectly for another. I know that a lot of my mom's friends had *gasp* jobs and didn't stay home with their children. She thought that was extreme. It wouldn't work for her, but it was important to the working women's lives.

When my ex and I both worked at IBM, it wasn't uncommon for us to be apart a lot. A LOT. The first year we were married, I think we saw each other for 64 days, if I remember correctly. But it was a choice we both made. It sounds like Starlia and her SO have a good working relationship with mutual understanding and respect. I would never question that, or what works for them.

So to you, Starlia, I say BON VOYAGE! And send me some postcards, sweetie!

T>Okay, but........for two years? Or even 6 months? Come on, man. Doesn't this

Antarctica is a very far reach. I don't think there are any employees there who are not one sort of government employee or another. (Eg, scientic expeditions, schools, military, etc). My psychologist went there 2 years ago, and it is extremely difficult to get there without a pile of money.

I especially would advise not to go away without a ticket home, in your hand.

What about languages?

I highly recommend reading Michael Creighton's non-fiction "Journeys".

I've done some unusual travelling. Ukraine would have been indecipherable without knowing someone -- language, customs.

Ever thought of Peace Corps?

Don't forget that in the strange pockets of the world which you are most anxious to reach, women really are much at risk.

I would seriously worry about the risk of losing your relationship. Most partners, male or female, would experience this as abondonment.

But it sounds lovely,

Tina

Actually, it's been my experience that men have thought I was crazy for going where and how I did. The women thought it would be great fun.

Actually, I also know more women who have lived in deep isolation in the wilderness than men also. Like the twins in Minchumina.

Tina

It is working for the government, which I'm past military and have worked for government contractors. I have a lot of government contracting experience and a lot of resources at my fingertips. That's why I directly applied for the job.

As far as DH is concerned he knows I'll be back. His only concern was Trinkett and how it would affect her. He said he would do his best to love her like I do, but it wouldn't be the same. As far as the prairie dog, well as soon as I step out the door I bet he finds another home. So with all that in mind, maybe six months at a time sounds more reasonable.

The women of Alaska are a wondrous kind. I loved that a lot of my friends ditched modern conveniences to live out their dreams. Lord knows I did it for a while and it didn't kill me. Running water was missed though.

I love owning a home. It makes a nice place to roam from. Don't give the idea up completely.

Tina

Thats funny, Starlia,

I can be at home anywhere you plunk me down. Owning a house makes me feel more free to wander, but I've always been one to turn a coner into a home. My mother, on the other hand, considers herself "a camper", who should leave no footprints.

I grew up with lots of opposites. We traveled a whole lot. Far and wide, long distances and long times. Yet all my childhood we lived in just two houses, two blocks apart, with grandparents nearby. We lived pretty spartan, except for travel, education, and art.

On the other hand, my Ex was flighty and irresponsible and we moved constantly, and I was the faithful little wifey, at his side. My son loves going new places, would like to live in Eastern Europe again. My daughter yearns for stability.

I came up to Alaska alone after my Ex left, have travel in Europe, Eastern Europe, Mexico within the States alone. Oh, and of course at 40 below in Alaska. And I love it. My (business) partner, with the engine, asked to be dropped off in the Alaska range with supplies for a month or two, and was picked up 8 months later.

Pete came to Alaska in the middle of winter, to stay with a friend who changed his mind. All that stuff. I absolutely love travelling with him. Only occassionally do I wish he had a lead foot like I do. But he finds the most interesting people.

The talk of travel in Alaska reminds me of coming up here in 1960 for the first time. To say the roads weren't paved is an understatement. My folks brought all 6 of us kids.

I do love to travel.

Tina

I was just repating what I have heard about Antactica. What is your information?

Tina

And I love to travel in Alaska. How I miss the folks. There are no social ladders to climb, etc. Everyone is on the same level as you.

I loved going all over up there. It always felt like I was visiting a different country when I went to the different villages. I hope to move back someday, but DH doesn't want to go...yet.

I know one thing absolutely...that DH is faithful to the inth degree. Believe me he has had many opportunities and I've heard about them all. Not being the jealous type I always overlooked all the dang flirting.

And he has had opportunities to leave me out in the cold...and he has never once looked me over. Believe me, I've tested all kinds of patience in that man and he is steady as a rock.

He only wants me to be happy. And if I want to leave for an extended period of time then he wants me to go. The only thing he has asked me to do is come home to him.

Now, on the other hand I'm seriously thinking about taking off to California. It sounds just like what I need at the moment and the ocean is calling me. (I lived on the inlet in Alaska and had a lake right beside me.)

Actually, I personally would worry more about myself than Pete.

I hope you know I am just telling my thoughts and not telling you what to do.

And if you think my Southern Calif travelogue is cool, keep in mind I haven't even started on Northern Calif.

Tina