OT: The Voices in my Head

You can't really compare your son to Evalynne.

This is an important distinction. The behaviours that get us through childhood tramas, can hinder us as adults. They generally have made us functional, but not healthy.

And about the "joyful" part. We can indeed be joyful, even if me are physically ill -- or mentally or emotionally injured/damaged.

Tina

...........................

Yes!

Deirdre

That could be - I have tried some NLP stuff. Evalynne

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It's a roller coaster - I can experience the highest joy and the lowest lows.

Evalynne

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You know, as bad as Depression is for me, I'm glad I at least don't have those ups and downs. I can at least anticipate a certain reaction on a regular basis and deal with it,

Tina

Sounds tough, Kaytee.

The primary effect of the disease of Depression is having more input than you can manage, with melancholy being the primary symptom of the that inability to deal with everything. The most effective "coping strategies" are prioritizing and eliminating as many stressors as possible. Some drugs, especially in low doses (thus least side effects), can be helpful. I use Serzone to quiet the background noise and Wellbutrin as an "activator", in doses I am told are "below theraputic doses".

I wish you well in this tough job.

Tina

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from snipped-for-privacy@aol.comnospam (Kaytee) :

] "get rid of the major stressors in your life"

well, i divorced the kids' dad - - and my ulcer went away for years.

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

Bill of Rights - Void where prohibited by Law.Regime Change in 2004 - The life you save may be your own.

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Christina Peterson" :

]The primary effect of the disease of Depression is having more input than ]you can manage, with melancholy being the primary symptom of the that ]inability to deal with everything.

AMEN!

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

Bill of Rights - Void where prohibited by Law.Regime Change in 2004 - The life you save may be your own.

I personally prefer this full-spectrum experience to sticking to a 'safe' numbness, but I think some folks -need- to maintain the numbness until either a safer environment, or more coping resources or both are within reach for them.

And I agree that 'talking it out' doesn't always help. Sometimes it just freezes you in the problem-state. Fortunately, there are a wide range of ways of getting healthier and exploring several might help more than hammering away at just one. Especially if it doesn't seem to be helping much.

Deirdre

Heightened stress = compromised immune system. Reduced stress = resilient immune system.

Long term unrelieved stress = chronic, systemic health problems.

IME.

Deirdre

The "highs" used to be somewhat fun, but now they're just frantic; always followed by suicidal depression. And I mean _suicidal_ depression. Evalynne

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Me, too. I licked my demons once I found a methodology that worked. What worked for me came by piecing things together from a variety of models, plus some stuff that I simply did based on instinct instead of under someone else's direction.

Imagine that you have an ultra-wise counselor available to you day and night. All the time. What would such a dedicated guide offer in the way of support and advice? Not just when you feel suicidal, but all the time? Best days and worst days. No exceptions.

Deirdre

In my case, if the kids' dad was more available more often, I'd be better able to "share" the "stress" with him... rather than have to deal with the day in/day out problems alone. His job is 500 miles away... he's home 3 weekends out of 4, and when he does his 2-week reserves duty. This is the closest he's worked in the last 5 years-- and it isn't because he hasn't tried finding something suitable, closer. Or at least, somewhere we could afford to move. Kaytee "Simplexities" on

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from snipped-for-privacy@aol.comnospam (Kaytee) :

]In my case, if the kids' dad was more available more often, I'd be better able ]to "share" the "stress" with him... rather than have to deal with the day ]in/day out problems alone. His job is 500 miles away... he's home 3 weekends ]out of 4, and when he does his 2-week reserves duty. This is the closest he's ]worked in the last 5 years-- and it isn't because he hasn't tried finding ]something suitable, closer. Or at least, somewhere we could afford to move.

oh - i didn't mean to suggest it for you - just that it worked for me. sorry about that!

and being a single parent - even part-time-single - can be a real b*tch!

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

Bill of Rights - Void where prohibited by Law.Regime Change in 2004 - The life you save may be your own.

Thanks, Sarajane. Much of it is just the unbalances caused by being bi-polar. Also, avoiding my so-called "family" helps tremendously. Evalynne

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Hmm - that's a new idea that might work.

Evalynne

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It worked for me. But first I tried a lot of other (more traditional things) that were only marginally helpful.

Its main advantage is that you get 'intensive care' instead saving things up and trying to squeeze them into an hour a week. And in the process, you develop the habit of being compassionate and helpful to yourself in your most vulnerable areas. So, you find yourself getting stronger in the process at a pace that is exactly right for you, because you're setting the pace yourself. And instead of becoming dependent on someone else, you get to be more emotionally independent.

Ironically, that improves your relationships, because you are less needy and therefore 'safer' for others to relate to.

Deirdre

And something that resides -within- you, and that you assimilate over time ... gives you new resources instead of making you dependent on someone else's resource.

That means you can get into an "I can cope" state even when your models aren't around. I have several such guides and guardians, btw. I can call on whoever is appropriate to the circumstances when I need backup.

Deirdre