OT: Yoooo Hooooo!!!! Read Me!! ( Stopping In For A Visit)

I have a male friend who is always agonizing and torturing himself with guilt because he hasn't found "the one" yet, and what that means to him is that every time he has sex, he's "using" the girl... because he's not in love with her. I tried to explain to him that when *I* was single, if I had sex with a guy I didn't really care about, my take on it was "hey, at least he got laid!" (yes, I was a cold-hearted tramp!) and most likely the girls he's getting with look at it the same way. If he's not leading them on (and I know some of the girls, they're under no illusions) then he has no reason to feel bad for their sakes... though what I really think it is is misplaced shame over having sex at all.

-Kalera

JL Amers> Poor Harry -

I adore men. Didn't have them in my life at all until I did therapy on my childhood issues in my mid-thirties. So, I have been dating for the first time in my life, for about 10 years. I am just a backward child.

I was thinking about what others said, and you know I don't feel as if I have used any of these men. I am straight up with them, and if any of them want to get into anything serious with me, that is surely something that can be considered. It is what dating is -- the process of finding someone, hopefully.

Becki "In between the moon and you, the angels have a better view of the crumbling difference between wrong and right." -- Counting Crows

On Mon, 9 Feb 2004 12:52:37 -0500, Dr. Sooz wrote (in message ):

You had to _ask?!?!_

So glad that you're well away from that person.

Kathy N-V

On Mon, 9 Feb 2004 12:52:03 -0500, Dr. Sooz wrote (in message ):

Remember to be congratulatory and generous - "Oh it must be sooooo much work with the new baby. How about I keep Merc here with me until you guys get settled in?"

"Are you sure you want Merc there while the baby's learning to walk? (crawl?, learn to read? learn to drive?) If having him there is a hassle, I think I might be able to talk Kevin into letting Merc stay here a little longer. " [Utilize your acting skills here. Bite your lip as if you're worried about what Kevin will say.]

If he thinks that letting Merc stay with you will cause some sort of hardship for you - Kevin in this case, even though I know Kevin is great, your former SO might be more inclined to comply. After all, it's a no work way of "hassling" you.

Just a thought.

Kathy N-V

On Mon, 9 Feb 2004 13:25:02 -0500, starlia wrote (in message ):

You married my husband?!?! Wow.

Even after 19 years, DH still thinks of Wednesdays as special, "because we started dating on a Wednesday."

Kathy N-V

Goodness!! Poor guy should give it up if he feels that bad about it!! Can't be good for ones health to torture oneself that much..

Mavis

What an absolute tosser!

It's amazing what you have come through Kathy - shows your tenacity and grit. All Power to you.

Mavis

He's an amazing guy. Sometimes I am in awe at how lucky I am. He's the best.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the bunny and beads are adorable!

Kevin is magic.

Tina

"Dr. Sooz" wrote

Sooz - I wish you could interact with this man via email instead of talking on the phone. I can't stand the effect he has on you.

Becki "In between the moon and you, the angels have a better view of the crumbling difference between wrong and right." -- Counting Crows

yep, me and my sister too. And he also taught me about shared bank accounts. Kids HAVE to have somebody else on the account. Grownups don't, and choose not to for good reason.... Sarajane

Sarajane's Polymer Clay Gallery

Anna Freud said a creative mind can overcome all sorts of bad training. Sarajane

Sarajane's Polymer Clay Gallery

So glad you made the move. Best of luck on your new journey in Cali!!!!

ICK. Also glad you got away from that - bleah don't even like saying person -

Well, if you're intersted in it BEING a hay farm again, Andrew can show you how to drive the tractor.... Won't have to walk up and down the driveway for excercise if you make THAT career change.... Kaytee "Simplexities" on

Becki, I am so glad to hear that you moved and that you're happy in CA. Geographics are a very good thing, at least in my expereince. Enjoy your new home and fresh start!

Best, Deborah

yep, me too. Married my best friend...but not till 8 years later when we finally figured out what was actually important. Sarajane

Sarajane's Polymer Clay Gallery

I know! If it makes him feel bad, he shouldn't do it. Besides, a little celibacy never hurt anyone!

-Kalera

AmazeR wrote: