Re: OT: help please.

A couple of things. All the stuff I've written on this subject he past couple of months, I still haven't said everything I could. We knew we were going to be fired, my sister and me. It was just a matter of time. They were working on pushing us out. Her and I were the two top paid employees. For all the time I have been there, the top earner, always gets pushed up and out. They were saving money on me because I did not take the crappy health insurance. But still, I had risen to the top. I tried to not be 100% perfect and it did save me a bit, as someone else was in line for the spot, I was glad to let her have it, but i quit first. I don't care about how my day job is defined. It was just place to go and sit and make money, It don't make me who I am. Since I have never worked, before the past 9 years for anyone but me, the whole office / corporate structure was unfamiliar and what I have learned about it I don't like. The game playing is so ridiculous ! So there was a time when we were paid by the amount of work we produced. We had a base rate and bonus rate. With so many slackers it was easy to beat them. And I did. But I got ripped apart by the staff because they felt that there was 1 too many people on the day shift and I "was taking food out of their mouths". Bull ! Even the supervisor said that they wasted time and I was holding down more than my share. When it came time to start edging me out, I was elevated to town sonofabitch and head slack butt, even though I was still team leader .... and just let me have a problem .... which was then ignored. I knew I was going to be sacrificed for others making less and with less seniority. Most of the stuff thrown at us was to make us give up and quit. While we have been discussing all this, we suddenly remembered some people we had forgotten that worked there with us, who were shoved out and put thru unemployment hell and who had trouble finding jobs. It all follows a pattern. Now let me tell you about how I have handled my unemployed time. I made a promise to not be idle. I do run a children's entertainment company and I sell beadwork, obviously. About a week before I quit I set about orgaizing all my UFOs and my desk, so that I could work as if this was all I had to do. I also made up my mind to do everything to job hunt and not just stay in the house putting in on line applications. I have stayed in "hunt" mode and I have set out to be busy at home. I have tried ot make at least one meal everyday or do one serious chore, such as cleaning out my closets which were long overdue. I leave the house daily, if only to go get the mail at Mailboxes, Etc which is just around the corner. Ad since it is available to us, we get complimentary meals at one casino and we get dressed and go about 3 times a week. Yesterday I won money ! Nt much, but MONEY. What I am trying to demonstrate here is that I just would wither, if I didn't keep busy. I have to keep up the motivation to stay active or I will get house bound and out of the habit of working. I've already found myself there more than once and I will not just lie on the couch and watch tv all day. I have ADD. This motivation to do what I gotta do is a tough thing for me. Ignoring all the stuff I need to do is tempting. Beading and sewing have just about saved my life. If i didn't have that, I would probably be sleeping all day. I am a very serious pack rat. But I know my apt. is small and from time to time I throw out a few very old clothes that are rags. I have had the misfortune to lose everything I owed twice in life and now i am like a pitbull about stuff. I'll tell you, I am so glad I am. People call me squirrell girl cause I squirrel stuff away. Never have I been so glad that I am during all the crap I been thru ! It's almost as if, I knew I would need stuff. Actually i can't lie, for like 2 months before I quit the crappy job. I was stockpiling. Rainbow

Why would I get mad? You are totally right.

Of course, 3 months ago I would've ARGUED with them. But I wouldn't be MAD.

*sighs* Actually, that is a big problem for me and I think that is what was going on on Thursday at least partially. I think I am debating or defending myself by offering more explainations. Other people think I am mad.

THAT is something I need to figure out too.

marisa2

Marisa,

I have more to say about this- but I'm headed out the door in a few minutes.

I know what you are going through at work- I was at BellSouth in Atlanta (as a contractor) and for months and months we were always wondering when we would know the latest rounds of layoffs. The last few months I was there were really bad morale wise. No one wanted to work, we didn't have much to do- no budget = no new projects, stuff we did work on was canned etc.

I also have depression and know what that is like as well. I was lucky with meds (celexa) although I did have problems with it at first ) they cut my dosage in half and that made all the difference. I also had to find a new therapist after my first try at that. She was awful. I was very lucky with my second one. A friend of mine who is training to be a clinical psychologist said you should report yours that cancels appointments, doesn't return calls etc- that's not professional behavior. Find a new one - and I know how hard it is to look for a new one. Hopefully you can find one that you connect with and feel comfortable with.

Hang in there and keeping working at it. I know how hard it is to get out of those self-destructive, bad thought patterns- still working on it. There is a lot of a-good advice and info in some of the replies. Big HUGS to you. And yes some days you just need to vent!

Kathy K

You're right about the secret clearance. Dh had one. When he went to Top Secret clearance is where they start really digging and talking to people. Boy was that an interesting experience. My parents were visited, as was my brother...they told me all about it...LOL

For anybody taking psycho-active meds: if you are not "white" (European) and male, the "book" may not show the proper dosage and/or schedule for you. Why? Because most of the preliminary tests were done on white males to determine the dosages.... Just like most testing for other meds.... If a med seems to be "not working" well enough, or working "too well", see if you can find out if it was tested on other population groups and how those tests compared. Women's hormonal fluxuations can also change how a medication is used and cleared by the body.

Asians and Amerindians generally need lower dosages, spaced further apart, compared to the white model. This bit of obscure info was from my son's last psych MD-- a Pakistani woman. The paper presenting the research caught her eye because she was of one of the same "populations" as the research covered. Kaytee "Simplexities" on

Me, too. And looking really does help, if it leads to noticing what works ... and adding more to that, while also noticing what isn't helping, and trying other things instead.

Deirdre

I didn't say it was easy. It often takes lots of time, and very close attention.

But it also impossible for a prescriber to get it right (just by being 'the expert') without feedback.

I agree with your assessment of how difficult it is for children (or pets, for that matter) to give that feedback. Both kinds of patient probably need tuned in adults who can report on their behavioral changes-- folks who understand what their 'normal' way of being is, and how their state has changed in response to the meds.

Deirdre

I'm always impressed at how well the vets seem to diagnose things, especially when compaired to my and my family's experience with human doctors.

A poke here, a prod there, a wiff of their breath, and the vet explains the problems (in a much more satisfactory manner then most MDs, IMO) and perscribes the sollution. So far I have never seen the vet proven wrong.

Considering they have to be able to do this for several species, I am pretty impressed.

marisa2

"Deirdre S." wrote:

An interesting observation. But what you describe about their methods seems to me to fit the bill of "paying attention to feedback from the patient"...

Deirdre