OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

IF I wear mascara (which is rare) I need the curling things--my eyelashes are long and my glasses tend to get all messy from the mascara, plus it's darn irritating having them rubbing on the lenses, Gen

Hi Tricia,

I was just curious.=20

I think you're missing a third category: those of who don't really care about wearing lots of makeup or wearing high heels!

I can relate as I, too, have no close gal friends; I'm not into getting my nails painted, not into tanning, not into gossip, not into getting my hair done. That just seems all fake to me and I think there are more of us out there than we think.

Are you asking this anywhere else? =20

-Irene

-------------- You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.=20

--Mae West=20

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Because we care for each other and the majority are women. Don't like it?? Don't read it! Sure hope you don't need personal advice and have no place else to turn!!! Gen

-Irene

-------------- You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

--Mae West

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I dont remember actually "learning" the woman stuff. I just aquired the knowledge along the way, trial and error and basic human maturing I suppose. Could be that I never payed much attention to it as it happened to be getting into my brain since I never did, and still dont, follow the fashion rules. I dont wear make up except for mascara, I dont follow clothing trends at all, my wardrobe comes from the thrift stores, and I dont give a hoot what anyone else thinks! I am ME. This is ME. Take ME or leave ME, but dont try and change ME!

I think the 'learning to be a woman' is influenced by magazines and models and so on, most of whom are not great role models for the every day woman in today's world. Dont try and emulate everyone else for the sake of "what others say" just be you, happy with what you can do for yourself in the areas of makeup and fashion and etc.

My style is just that. Mine.

I know this was of NO help to you whatsoever, sorry, just voicing my opinion.

~KK in BC~

Yes, there are plenty of women who don't feel the need for makeup and high heels (at least in my neck of the woods.) But the reality in the job market is that if you don't fit the "image", whether it's because you don't care for make up or because you have tats or dreds or are overweight or whatever, you're at a disadvantage in many companies and with many customers. (And it's as true for men as for women.) That image changes from place to place -- it's not the same if you're applying for a job at a law firm as if you're applying for a cashiering at the food co-op. A suit works better at one, Birkenstocks and tie-dye work better at the other.

I made a choice 20 years ago that I didn't want to work for companies that felt image was more important than ability to do the work. Has that limited my choices? Absolutely! But it suits my personality, and so was the right choice for me.

For some people, the right choice is to conform to "the image" so they have more economic opportunity. Tricia has chosen that path -- what's wrong with her asking for help in that regard?

If there is a Sephora near you, you can return stuff there. Not sure about make up but I returned a sun cream that turned out to have mineral oil in it. I went to buy a different one & the sales lady said to bring back the one I didn't want! I was surprised, but they took it back. But of course, I spent my money on something else!

"Pauline" wrote in news:geGIg.17561$ snipped-for-privacy@newssvr12.news.prodigy.com:

"Don/Gen" wrote in news:PgJIg.456$15.5252 @eagle.america.net:

Ok, here we go! I'm soooo jealous of your long lashes !! I have short short lashes. But at least they are black. I can't wear mascara because of my contact lenses. I've always wanted to try those fake lashes. Talk about clown makeup!!! When I put them on, it was just awful! ;o)

Be careful on this one. I tried to take a suit back to a famous chain store here - Marks & Spencer's - and they refused to have it back because it had some wrinkles in it. Well, yes, I tried it on when I got home. They claimed that I had worn it, and therefore could not return it. So make sure you return something in a really good condition! Marks & Spencer's used to have a really good (almost too good - it was costing them thousands) return policy. Obviously too many people took advantage of them and they are cracking down now.

-- Jo in Scotland

One more note to all the good advice that everyone has given you -- if you go to a hair stylist for a new "do", take along some pictures of hairdos you like. Cut them out of magazines (pay or find them on the internet (try googling hairdo pictures). Ask the stylist if the styles you like are appropriate for your hair type; if not, ask him/her to suggest some alternatives. I have fine, very straight hair and I find that a short, straight cut works best for me. I like curls, but perms are too hard on my hair. Mine is a low maintenance hairdo (shampoo, gel, and go) that works fine for my casual, retired lifestyle. On the rare occasion that I am dressing up, I can touch it up with a curling iron. I had longer hair for awhile, but I was always pulling it back and I decided it really made me look older, so it was back to my old reliable short do.

Julia > No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on

I didn't think there was any problem with her asking for help. I was simply curious as to why she felt the need to, that's all. Don't read anything more into it than that 'cause that's all it was - curiosity. :)

-Irene

-------------- You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.=20

--Mae West=20

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I have the same problem - I stick to beigy brown lipstick and skip the rest . somehow I have always gotten away with no makeup just by making an effort in what I wear

good luck Tricia! I hop you find the solution to this that makes you happy :)

Sorry I misinterpreted -- all too easy to do! :)

Ok I know I haven't posted much in along while but reading this topic made me realize that I am not the only one out there on this not so big blue marble any more. I am in my soon to be late 30's and I have no clue as how to use a curling iron, curlers or how to French braid my own hair, doing someone else's hair I have no problem with, just mine. Being blessed or cursed depending how I feel on any given day with naturally wavy to curly hair, I have it cut short to help with any problems hair wise. As for make up , I guess I was lucky being able to learn from my mother who used to be a nutri-medics, make up sales rep at one time. Plus as a teen on weekends when I had nothing planned I played with make up finding my own style, granted I hardly wear make up now, considering the work that I do and having odd skin to boot, it cant make up its mind if it wants to be normal, dry or oily. When I do put on the war paint its a very soft natural look, where it looks like I don't have any thing on but there is something a bit more added. I just use make up from the drug store, Revlon, L'Oreal and some times Marcell (sp?) Being prone to break outs myself mainly due to stress and Horrormoans, I mainly just use water to clean my face, but when I use make up , to clean my face I just use Oil of Olay cleansing cloths, works great and gentle on sensitive skin, fragrance free to boot, my skin loves it. I guess what you can gather from all this is experiment in your free time, sure you may go through the war paint a bit faster then normal but defiantly do what some of the others are suggesting go Mary Kay to learn the basic's then fine tune it to work for you. Hope it helps Dawn in Alberta

I didn't know they were trained in proper application -- I've had good luck in a previous encounter (I won a Satin Hands demo party via a teacher raffle one year) with having some colors picked out for me. I'll have to ask around the ladies on staff with my husband to know if any of them know of a MK consultant in the area.

Thanks Karen, Tricia

You summed it up alright -- =(

I do care how I look and that's part of what irritates me about the situation is fearing the fact that I do care doesn't show.

Bless your DH *hugs for him*

Will start inquiring to find one -- I still consider myself new to the area and that's sort of adding to my "I feel awful and pitiful about myself" mood today. Any suggestions for meeting friends? I didn't feel comfortable at the quilt guild meeting, although to be honest, I dont' think I gave it enough of a try. The next meeting won't be for another few weeks though. Church, while people are nice, hasn't exactly netted me someone I feel I can turn to short of the Pastor who is so very busy I don't feel she has a chance to *focus* on a conversation.

I think a few of those 'gators hitched a ride north with a fair company

-- DH and I went walking around what was left of the county fair yesterday and one of the things available as a paid attraction was to go see the 'gators.

Thanks Polly.... Tricia

When I got interested in fabric and learning to sew, I did get books out of the library for the color selection thing and learned that I am very definitely a SPRING and am very comfortable with picking flattering colors for clothes -- that is one that I am fairly well versed in when seeking business/work clothes. When I "bum around" town or home I tend to do jeans and any old t-shirt but for work I *can* dress. The principal where I was teaching called me into her office one day for a discussion on upgrading my work wardrobe (I was being too casual in my dress). I went and bought a bunch of things that are very nice. Some don't fit appropriately anymore due to some weight gain/redistribution, but some still do. The Sears downstate actually has a decent ladies/petites department, although none of the pants in the two piece items fit me (Kate D -- any tips for a newbie on hemming up tapered slacks?) but I found a nice brand of pants that I could wear nicely and bought a mixture of colors to fill the gaps.

The nearest dept store is a small JC Penny and this one doesn't have a make up counter (I went tonight and checked). The Sears outside town is strictly appliances and manly machines. I'm now starting to look for others that might be nearby that I dont' know about (I was never much of a shopper either -- another teen girly thing that just passed me by).

Thanks Julia, Tricia

Thanks for the input Georg =) I'm usually very soft hearted when someone is suggesting products for me to buy, esp if there has been something I would consider special like a make over or something but someone else had mentioned the needing to wait to make sure there isn't a skin reaction and that would be true for me too.

Tricia

Georg wrote:

That's familiar...thanks for sharing that I'm not alone in this.

Tricia