OT A favor

And there are those who never grow out of it.... Kaytee "Simplexities" on

feel so much more beautiful than when I was young and about the same weight. Its my perceptions, and yours that changed... and we are the better for it.<

Me too!!! For me it's partly that I quit judging myself on others' standards. I'm healthy (except for a wandering-upward blood pressure, but I'm working on that), I'm active and I feel good. I quit fussing with makeup, other than occasional lipstick, because I'm allergic to most of it (my skin is a LOT better since I stopped trying) and out here I'd sweat most of it off anyway. I was stunned how much time I used to waste fussing with all that stuff. And my bathroom shelves are a lot clearer, too!

The other part is that I'm with someone who ENJOYS my curves and extras. It's not that he "doesn't mind", it's that he truly likes me just the way I am. Getting *that look* from him means so much to me. Even when I feel frumpy for some reason, he smiles and winks at me and I suddenly feel beautiful. We ARE both paying attention to what we eat and how much we exercise, but it's not about image...it's about being healthy.

-- KarenK Desert Dreamer Designs

Laziness was a factor in my choice too. Its just so handy. The other benefits were frosting on a wonderful cake! Diana

It makes you comfy to hug. Is that interpetation or opinion? diana, always asking the biting questions

I think one thing is being overlooked here. It's not always a matter of a wild generalization, but a matter of personal taste. It's like thinking blue eyes are sexier than brown eyes, or going for a particular "look" at first glance. I'll blushingly admit that for years I had a thing for blond, slightly scruffy, surfer-types. But I always ended up with a variety of "types" because attraction for me has a lot more to do with other connections than that first visceral twinge. I don't think there's anything wrong with whatever someone's personal preference is. That defines an individual, not a population.

I realize part of it is terminology. Phrases like "real women" or "stick figure" can certainly sound hurtful. But perhaps it's as much a matter of uncreative vocabulary as anything else.

Just a thought.

-- KarenK Desert Dreamer Designs

Bingo! And I think this is true no matter what end of the bell curve a person happens to be on.

Laura

Because its not "supposed" to be about how you feel---just about how you look. "Better to Look Marvelous, than to Feel Marvelous" was what Billy Crystal said as "Ricardo Montoban", right? Sarajane

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they are ok with it. I dont know who *they* are but my doc said the same thing. WHO *world health organization recomends not weaning until baby is at least

The American Academy of Pediatrics is the prime mover behind delaying cow's milk. It's mainly a concern for preventing food allergies. Considering all the crap they feed cows these days (some of which passes into milk), I think that's a very smart call.

I breasfed my daughter til she was 2-1/2 (with food introductions at the right times). The last several months were mostly a bedtime snack thing. My son weaned himself at 9 months, much to my distress. I guess he thought Cheerios and strained carrots were much more interesting. (I suspect he'll change his mind again about 15 or so. LOL)

-- KarenK Desert Dreamer Designs

Uh huh. Exactly.

Deirdre

I'm glad you are comfier now. Me too, mostly. And I relate so much about the pictures thing----its very strange to look back and see them.

One thing I noticed before but was reminded of again recently is that if pictures are taken by people who think you are ugly, the pictures are not going to be beautiful or anywhere near. But pictures taken by those who are NOTconvinced of the subjects fatness/ugliness/clumsiness can show a whole different story. For one thing, a real smile is possible but not mandatory! Sarajane

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Whatever got me to who/where I am right now is a valued part of my past -- including all the pain, all the abuses, and all the neglect.<

This is so true!!! There are pains and frustrations I would love to erase from my life, like the deaths of two people VERY close to me within a week of each other, or chunks of my marriage. Hell, there are days I'd like to erase my ex completely! But then I look at our kids and know that, at least sometimes, we did something RIGHT together. I can look back at some critical times in my past, see the choices I made, and understand that it all puts me right where I am now. Maybe I would've found a different kind of happiness sooner, but I'm so crazy about here and NOW that I don't want to trade. I have my kids and my guy and my beads and this beautiful place to call home and that's more than enough.

-- KarenK Desert Dreamer Designs

I think I would modify this slightly to suggest that so-called 'objective' thinking doesn't consider from an individual POV

I guess my contention is that as long as there is an observer (even a surrogate observer, like a security camera), there *is* a point of view, and therefore ... subjectivity. Somebody decided where to place the camera, and what to point it at. And the camera -misses- everything that isn't within its 'field of vision', or POV.

No matter what we are looking at, we always have your back to something else. And that 'something else' that we can't see is likely to be influencing what we -can- see. But because we can't see it, we are likely to discount its influence. Until we do a 360. But some folks never turn around.

Deirdre

Hmmn. I think I'm better served trading that in on contentment in spite of my flaws.

Deirdre

I can imagine. And addiction is a fascinating subject. Any compulsive, yet self-destructive, behavior has the potential to wreck our quality of life ... and knowing how to overcome that control means experiencing real freedom. Perhaps for the first time.

Deirdre

I forgot to write this!

I came to RCB because of Becki. I met her on AOL several years ago, as well as some other wonderful folks who've landed here. Becki was a fairy bead-mother to me in a couple ways, encouraging me when I was just starting lampwork, turning me on to the auction sites, and she even held my hand at my first bead show.

I dropped AOL when I got cable, but missed the chitchat. I'd known about RCB before, but hadn't participated much, but once I got settled out here in AZ and started back on the beading path again, I joined the group and found some of my old friends....AND started making new ones. Sometimes I drift away, if things get too tense. I used to get all fretful and realized it was actually pretty silly, so I learned to just redirect my attention when things go weird. I keep coming back!

I got into beads back in the mid-70's. The first time was a day my mom dragged me to a cutesy "village" with all sorts of unusual shops....bath stuff, baskets, leatherwork (my other favorite), antiques, kitchen stuff, and this very cool craft store. I'd been doing embroidery at the time, and they had a nice selection of books, fabrics and yarn. They also showed some designs using seed beads. About the same time, liquid silver jewelry was becoming popular, and they had all the supplies to do that too. I realized it was a lot cheaper to make your own, and I liked some of the different beads (some were lampwork!) so I bought some starter stuff and started stringing. I was hooked. I started learning about all the semiprecious beads, and ended up eventually doing craft shows and selling necklaces and earrings for "pizza money" in college. At the same time, though, I was falling in love with fiber, and set my beads aside for weaving and spinning. I came back to beads when my niece introduced me to polymer clay about 9 years ago, and made my first lampworked beads 6 years ago. I sold my loom to buy my kiln, but I still spin (mostly silk) just to relax and loosen up my hands.

-- KarenK Desert Dreamer Designs

Or just raise their eyebrows at the question, and say nothing.

Deirdre

Sometimes it's just a terminology issue -- like the tank tops I have that are aqua -- I think of as a shade of blue and Genny as a shade of green. But it combines both colors ... just a matter of which seems 'dominant' to each of us.

However, I don't rule out the possibility that people disagree about color because -- though the wavelength of light involved doesn't change, each person actually -sees- something different, because of the way their perceptual apparatus -interacts- with that wavelength.

Deirdre

I think we are actually seeing differently--the eye has rods and cones in different amounts in different people. Sarajane

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nope, I'm there right beside ya, Diana!!

I use soap with no fragrance, and I shower every day. I use shampoo, and some coconut oil on my hair. Curel with no fragrance on the rest of me, and that's it other than toothpaste, maybe a little sandalwood oil if its time to go out for the evening! I don't smell bad--I don't much smell at all, because I don't use the 20 fragranced body products that my mother and sister find absolutely neccessary. And yes, sometimes I have a whiff of garlic because I eat it a lot. I'm healthy that way!!! Sarajane

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