OT: Home Schooling

We are discussing apples to oranges here... You talked about the local School District, I thought you meant the local School District as it related to Public Schools.

Ah, but it isn't necessarily the current parents. We've had Sex Ed in the schools for at least 40 yrs. in our School District. Heck, most parents discuss sex with their kids way more than I was a kid. My Mom handed me a book and said, "If you have any questions just ask." Plus, do the parents really know the correct information in all cases? The staff who taught my kids Sex Ed either a. knew the correct info or b. knew where to find out the correct info.

Huh? So you don't want your kids to be friends with anyone??? This young lady had a wonderful circle of friends, all from good families, with well-educated parents. The living together thinking is the current thinking among young people. How can you control what your child is doing 24/7? If one is going to take on the entire peer group their child is in, they are taking on one huge job. By the time a child is 20 yrs. you can have your say, but the ultimate decision is that of the child. I think most of us raise our children to be independent thinkers, so we shouldn't be angry when they do make decisions even thought they may be against what we believe.

...Linda

Hi Maureen,

I'm envious of your 'no Sunday' work schedule...lucky lady!

I like the choices of activities you have/had for your kids...a good range of sports, group activities, and academics :)

My kids went to public school...some of it positive, some of it negative, but overall it was a good education. It was the social situation at school that stunk, but one has to make lemonade out of lemons, and I think their experiences have helped to make them the people they are today.

Anyway, the kids turned out terrific, one is doing a Masters in Computer Science and has had his education paid for through scholarships and research grants. The other son (he's the 2nd degree Black belt) is in the 2nd yr. of a Carpentry Apprenticeship. All is well :)

take care, Linda :)

Dianne Lewandowski wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@individual.net:

As a hardcore fundamental separatist, I would say that these folks are not fundamentalists as much as they are Christian reconstructionists and/or legalists.

Linda D. wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com:

Yes, but I still feel that should be the parent's place to teach that to their children, personally, because different families will have different philosophies, and I am a strong believer in parental authority over their own children.

And when I was in high school in the 70s, the sex ed courses were, "We know what you are going to be doing. Here's what you need to know so you don't have any inconvenient little complications from it." I can only imagine that it is worse 30 years later.

I am saying that children need to learn to pick their friends carefully and that parents need to watch their children's influences carefully.

And she probably watched a lot of network television, where that is taught as being commonplace.

True. I try to have enough instilled in my children by the time they hit 13 so they don't wobble too much going through their teenage years. My youngest is 13, and so far with the rest of them I have batted 1.000.

My dad taught me his values as well as how to make decisions and evaluate things for myself, and that is what I have tried to teach my children as well. My oldest two are 21 and 19, and I don't agree with everything they do (especially the oldest, who has learning and cognitive thinking disabilities but who prefers to think he is just a normal person like everybody else) but as far as their overall course in life I think they are doing okay. And my oldest still sincerely seeks my advice on things that are over his head and considers it thoughtfully even though he may not follow it (which is okay with me because he has moved out and trying to take charge of his own life). Seeing as though I took a divergent path from the way I was raised (I went from being just on the liberal side of moderate to being very conservative), I think that if he wants my advice and considers it even though he doesn't always follow it then he's doing okay.

"Lucille" had some very interesting things to say about Re: OT: Home Schooling:

It's not just Christians, sweetie. You get that in just about every group, including the more aggressive "shut those Christians up, we don't agree with them" secularists.

"Seanette Blaylock" wrote in message news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com...

That's true !!

Lucille

"Lucille" had some very interesting things to say about Re: OT: Home Schooling:

So why do you consider it so much more awful when a Christian acts like that? Just because you don't agree with us?

Seanette Blaylock wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com:

Ain't dat da trufe! LOL

"Seanette Blaylock" wrote in message news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com...

Lucille.

"Seanette Blaylock" wrote in message news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com...

I'm curious to know where I said that it's more awful when its a Christian that acts like that????

"Dianne Lewandowski" wrote

Actually you have written very carefully. I just get frustrated when a very small group of highly vocal right wing (mostly North American) Christians hijacks a name that applies to a very diverse group of people all around the world. Dawne

I agree it 'should' be the parents place to teach Sex Ed to their kids, but they don't do it, so someone has to. What is the point of teaching abstinence in Sex Ed if the larger percentage of kids are not going to practise it? They need to know that abstinence is the smartest choice and why, but they also need to know about birth control, STD's, etc.

But there are no guarantees "the nice kids from the neighbourhood church" are not necessarily real nice kids, and when a child is in a public school system how do you control who they become friends with...you can't do it. Sure if you home-school and control everything your child does I guess you control their friends too, but I find it difficult to accept that any parent would want to do this.

As far as I am concerned the young lady, who is a good kid, has made a bad decision, that's how simple it is to me. I don't place the blame on anyone or anything, she made her choice, now she lives with it, and she seems to think she made a good choice, so we'll see what her future brings.

Good going...I'm glad you are happy with the choices you have made.

What about your Mom?

Where does your husband fit into all this? Does he get a say in any of this? I'm just curious about how it sounds like anything to do with the kids is up to you

...Linda

I agree with this to a point... I believe that kids usually pick friends just as good as they are...my kids sure have. OTOH, I was leery of a couple of my younger son's friends, yet he sure observed and learned a lot about life from a couple of his friends family situations. I do know a nice young lady who got hooked up with the wrong crowd and her parents did their best to get her away from them. I'm not sure if they were totally successful, they think they were, and so far things seem to be going okay.

I also have seen kids get totally screwed up by their parents. There is often more than one reason why this happens, but divorce appears to be one of them, and health issues another. Sometimes these things are out of anyone's control.

...Linda

I'll say. One of the guys I knew vaguely from school started coming to church around 9th grade. He was not a "real nice kid"; I suspected that someone forced it on him as a way of straightening him out. It didn't work -- a few years after graduation, he was jailed for armed robbery.

And they're not necessarily "good kids". Some of the members of the teen group -- good kids who voluntarily came to church and sang in the choir -- actually spent most of the meeting time sitting behind the parsonage garage with cigarettes, wine, and heavy petting (if not more).

And don't even get me started on the subject of the preacher's eldest child.....

Linda D. wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com:

I don't have a problem with my children learning all this at an appropriate age.

I know. We left a church or two because the children there were pretty mean.

I always watched children to see if they were reasonably respectful to me and whether my children tended to have worse attitudes when they were around them more. If they did, then we discussed it and how to avoid getting dragged down in the gutter. If they managed it, it was fine. If they didn't, then they had to stay away from them for a while.

Well, I know a number of neighborhood parents who have this, "how can you control who they get involved with and how it affects them" attitude. Of course you can (that is, during pre-teenaged years. After that it's rather difficult).

Sounds reasonable to me.

Well, I'm not saying my approach will work with everybody, and certainly I have taken varying methods with individual children according to what they seemed to respond best to, but it sure works better than the "herd them out the door and hope that somehow they turn out to be good adults while selfishly doing what I want" method that seems to be prevalent in this neighborhood.

She had brain damage from anesthesia and electric shock therapy, all before I was born, and she wasn't capable of doing much if anything in that area. My dad flew for the airlines and was home a lot more than the average dad, so it worked out okay.

Functionally I have been a single parent for the past 10 years. In practice, I probably have been a single parent for as long as I have been a parent, and very sadly, taking care of the children was easier after he left. My prodigal husband has no interest in child-rearing or in trying to make sure that his children turn out the best people they can possibly be. At this point he looks at visitation as his time to have them visit him so he will have company. Sometimes it seems to me like he looks at it almost as if he was a babysitter and just had to log time. A number of people have tried over the years to try to get him more involved, but he just doesn't do it. Thankfully my children have secured other male role models through the friendships they have made with other adults (yeah, that is probably our "village" in the positive sense -- not that they are trying to take over for me as the parent but they are trying to help me and support and reinforce how I have raised them) that are filling the gap to a reasonable extent, and thankfully they have a reasonable relationship with their dad as well and have a healthy balance between loving him and being angry at the negative repercussions of his behavior in their lives.

Linda D. wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com:

Well, we live in a lower-middle-to-lower-class neighborhood that has a high density of underprivileged people and people who don't mind living on the edge of the worst neighborhood in town, and it just so happens that there are very few nice children around here right now. There have been some in the past, but in general it is the exception rather than the rule.

If my children can do that and not get caught up with it themselves, I'm okay with it, but I still would prefer that they aim to have friends who are going to encourage them to be the best person they can be, not ones who want to persude them to join them in the gutter.

True. Sometimes children get the short shrift in divorce situations because the parents are more concerned with spewing vile about the other parent and exacting vengeance on them than they are with making sure their children navigate safely through a trauma over which they had no control.

Yes, picking and choosing your child's friends is fairly easy prior to the teenage years, then things get tough.

OTOH, I thought I was pretty good at choosing good friends for myself until I discovered that the mother of the little pre-school friend I was having over for play dates with my son was using this time to have an affair. She finally confessed to me after I had her son over 6 or so times... I can assure you there were no more play dates unless she stayed for coffee with me. I was not a happy camper, as I felt like an enabler. I'm sure she would have figured out another way to see the guy, but it still made me feel like crap :( The only good thing that came out of this is that she is now in a very happy marriage.

I'm very sorry to hear about your Mom :(

I am also sorry to hear you've been a single parent for so long, good for you that you have been able to raise your children they way you see fit. I'm sure you will think long and hard before committing to another marriage...

Linda

Ummm...it wasn't that the kids were bad per se, it was the home situation that wasn't good. Both of this young man's parents were very ill with cancer, so the house was a mess, and the yard a mess. My son would come home reeking of smoke...yuck! But, everytime he went he had a great time. The parents were kind and spent time with the boys playing cards and talking. They really helped my son through some rough times when he needed someone to talk to besides my DH or myself. He also had a girlfriend who had both parents ill with cancer. It was a very sad situation, but he learned a lot from the experience. This young lady's Dad got to see her dressed in a prom gown and had photos taken with her before he died because she went to prom with my son. This meant so much to her entire family. As I say, I wasn't necessarily leery about the kids, but the situations the kids were in.

Linda

Just wondering---where you live, can a gay couple walk into City Hall or wherever and be issued a marriage license?? (They can where I live.) Dawne