OT; PET PEEVES

I find it invasive and offensive for people who do not know me well to do this, and would never touch others outside my immediate circles of family and friends in this way.

Not being in tune with a relative stranger is a lot different from invading personal space in a touchy feely manner. On the other hand, you all know I like to be 'Kate', and if I wanted to be called Catherine (my given name) that's how I'd sign my posts!

I've found it really effective to tell a crowd of blokes to stop bitching about something! They REEEELY hate it, and tend to stop right away!

I'll take you up on that one, Karen. I have frequently heard men referring to other men "bitching" about something or other.

OTOH, when my DD and her DH moved to England after he was posted there, they bought a spaniel puppy, and were really taken aback when several people, seeing the puppy in the car, said something like "Oh what a beautiful spaniel. Is it a dog or a bitch?" DD coped OK, having been brought up by two Brit parents, but SIL had a really hard time keeping a straight face until he grew accustomed to the terminology.

My own pet peeve is when people (usually male) learn that yes, I design and make my own "dress up" clothes, and cook everything from scratch in order to keep my diabetic DH's condition perfectly under control while he eats like a king, say something like "I take it you don't work." Grrrrrrr. I have taken to replying (in my best British accent) "Oh no, I spend my days watching soap operas and eating chocolate bonbons."

Olwyn Mary in New Orleans.

SewStorm's cat walked across a keyboard and came up with this:

Uh, yeah!! But on the flip side, when the right guy says it..... There's quote I love, from a collection of short stories by Pam Houston. I gave the book away, but the jist of it is,"I may have a college degree and know better, but I love it when he calls me "baby"..."

Penny S

Re: OT; PET PEEVES snipped-for-privacy@epixSPAM.net (Beth=A0Pierce) Kate Dicey wrote: My DH says, 'I'll ask the boss'! Now that's a man who knows which side of his bread is buttered! Or did you have to train him?

My least fav is when a woman says she likes the easy care of short hair but her hubby likes long hair and won't let her get it cut. I know she's talking about her hair, but I am always tempted to say "really? I like long hair on men. Why do you want to get his hair cut?" Xena

And light skinned blacks can be lighter than some Southern Italians... bit I dare you to call a Sicilian "black," or would you simply call them colored? It wasn't so long ago that the "n" word was considered a true and matter of fact description.

I think that a lot of the old terms are often loaded with negative connotations that have more to do with namecalling. I remember when "Indian giver" was just an expression for someone who took back a gift, and "jewing" was when someone cheated you.

My daughter used to say that all races but Native Americans should never call Native Americans "Indians." Her logic was that Native Americans know they are Native and American, and the rest of us need the reminder for a few hundred years.

Truth should be defined by the people themselves. I have a pet peeve about saying-- "real parents" when applied to birth parents who may have raised the child from the very beginning (as opposed to the more accurate "adoptive parents,") or saying "real child" as opposed to a child by birth. Or "real name" as opposed to "legal name." My mom, for instance, legally dropped her first name and went by her middle name, because her first name never felt right to her. I ended up doing something similar. My ex (bless his pointy little head) insists that I am not using my "real" name.

To be more OT here, ;-o I have a pet peeve about manmade fabrics that do not tell the truth, meaning they do not wash as advertised-- rayon that says to hand wash in cold water, no ringing, dry flat... and then it's about 1/4 it's original size forevermore... and a certain tumble-dry-medium blanket of mine that melted all available lint to it when I tumbled it dry on low...

Xena

La Vida Xena's cat walked across a keyboard and came up with this:

and that AA folks were considered sub-human, that (IM0) went along with the terminology

There's always historical context. "jewing" is a negative reference based on the context of Jews as money lenders. I dont' know my religious history very well, but IIRC Christians were forbidden to be money lenders, yet the Jewish faith allowed it. Hence, Jews as money lenders and mechants. Two things happened... of course their services were used, but at the same time put down as non Christian.

Indian goes back to when the Spaniards (CC in particular) thought they had come to ... India!! when then hit the new world.

I think it's important to look at the words and concepts that have truly negative connations which to me differ from terms that have been "updated"

I heard a really interesting radio show on public radio, I occasionally listen to "Native America Calling" It was a show on the whole business of whether NA/Indian mascots should all be changed. It was really interesting hearing both sides (pro/con) from the Native Amercan POV.

anyway, time to sew...

penny s

My second husband loved my long hair. He used to say that if I ever cut it, he'd help me pack. One day, I had it cut off......

Have to agree with you 100% there Sharon. As a female working in a 97.5% male profession, having fought long & hard to get there, and made to feel "different", it is bl**dy annoying when one of my male colleagues comes and says "Right young lady" or "Can you do X please pet/love?".

I must admit one of my favourite responses to being called young lady is to respond "Yes old man?" (dependent on relative age, gender, and seniority of the person!).

Must say my current team mates are a pretty good gang, and I'm happy to say there is another lady engineer as well which is a real treat for me.

Sarah

If you(justallen) go back to the original message from: person referred to as: Me DATED 11/15. When you re-read you'll see hopefully," HER" message,retarded was meant in a very negative matter. Labels are just that ,Labels!!! My Son is a person, with mental retardation. There is no positive outcome EVER, calling /referring to some thing as being retarded,EVER!!!! Our world has changed so much in the positive direction and I thank God everyday. "SPECIAL NEEDS PEOPLE" IN THIS WORLD, ARE NOW ACCEPTED FOR WHAT THEY CAN DO AND NOT BY WHAT A LABEL "USED" TO CATEGORIZE THEM AS. ALSO, ALONG WITH ALL THE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPE ,THAT KEPT THEM IN "INSTITUTIONS"!!!!! I THANK EVERYONE FOR YOUR POSITIVE FEED BACK TO THIS MATTER . Changing /acceptance without labels is positive for all. Look back at our country's history, to know things were worth changing. People laid down their lives for what they believed in,and now we have acceptance of all people . Not by law, but by education,acceptance and compassion for all who live on this earth. One day at a time, one life at a time.

Because one person uses a word in a negative manor, you blame the word? With logic like that, I'm surprised that you are not organizing to try to ban most of the English language. Political correctness is nothing more than denial.

Best I ever heard was when I was in hospital this summer: a lady came in and was being booked in, and one of the questions asked is Do you work? Yes, she said. I'm a mother!

hehehehehe! Just now in a discussion about decorating the living room, he remarked about me needing a new improved richer husband!

Gad, no! I said! Not after spending 20 years training this one! I'd rather do without a French Window and a new conservatory! Pipe dreams, all ovvem!

When the right guy says it in the *right way*... :-) and I don't mean the response "don't worry your pretty little head, babe," when asked if the noise coming from the car means something was left disconnected during servicing... or some other similar occasion. Xena

are you still talking about your hair???

--gently snipped---

------------------------ "Old quilters never die, they just go to pieces."

---snip---

LOL!!!!

------------------------ "Old quilters never die, they just go to pieces."

Kate,

My daughter has just been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I also have it, but it's worse somehow, when it's your child. Most of my physical problems come from the RA. I worry about what fate will bring my daughter.

I understand only too well what it's like when you get out of the car parked in a handicapped space, and find people checking you out. I want to stick my tongue out at them :>), but I give them a pleasant smile instead, which seems to embarass them.

Sharon

If any bloke was unwise enough to say something like that to me, he'd be heading for hospital with certain small parts of his anatomy in his pockets!