OT; PET PEEVES

I use another term but it's not meant for use among polite company. BTW, I am divorced.

They say "hubby" which makes my skin crawl. ;-) It's a toss-up as to which is worse.

The other one that makes me grit my teeth is, "My hubby won't let me." Like, what is she? A possession? A child? Mentally retarded? Is "hubby" her guardian?

I never say that. Does "old hag" sound better to you?

oh gawd, you have my pet peeve....i HATE that! everytime i hear another woman say that, i want to slap her upside the head and screem "WAKE UP AND SMELL THAT COFFEE!!!".

as you can guess, i am married to a wonderful man who knows better than to state i cant do something or buy something....its just waving the red flag at me.... betsey "we do not inherit the earth, we caretake it for our children"

My husband is my domestic partner. If it were any other way, I would suggest that the door is open and he should not let it hit him in the ass on his way out. hehe. He generally is the one suggesting that I buy something or do something, because he says I don't do enough for myself. Now, the first two husbands weren't quite as enlightened. ;-)

Yep, same here but only I know where they are burried.

After selling machines for eons, I have discovered that most women own about 3, now I said most, as in the majority. They consist of the one they got from Mom when they got married. The one the DH bought sometime during the marriage (usually a Singer, usually a dud, and purchased because the dealer was a 'nice guy') and finally the one they buy themselves. This last one is most likely the dream machine. But like Joanne, my old man wanted me to get the dream machine and so I did. I am usually the one saying NO all the time.

My apologies to you and your child. I in no way meant to diminish your problems and heartbreak. My reference was to those individuals not held legally responsible for their actions, and under the control and guidance of a court-appointed guardian. It is an old term. I'm afraid I'm not totally up on P.C. expressions. Differently abled, special needs, etc., seem to refer to so many situations, and not working in the field of retardation, I am not up on the latest lingo.

My DH says, 'I'll ask the boss'!

"My hubby won't let me" I didn't know it offended anybody but I have been married nearly 20 happy years and my husband "gives" me that one. Yes, it is a gift. He lets me say stuff like, "I have to ask my husband," "I can't do that - my husband would shoot me," etc. so that I always have a scapegoat, I always have an excuse. It saves me from thinking on my feet. It is just easier to blame stuff on him or say that I need his permission. Of coarse if I want to buy or do something I can, I am my own person. But sometimes the best excuse is simply to blame it on him. He doesn't mind because he isn't there. Everyone knows I love him to pieces and that he is a super guy with just the average faults so they don't hold it against him. Now, anything over $100 we do check with each other first. It just makes sense to concur on larger purchases. But with that it goes both ways. We are a partnership. But, I wouldn't get too peeved at hearing someone say they have to check with their husbands - .....some marriages are actually functioning quite well around built-in systems of checks and balances. Joy (who loves the man that puts up with her)

ps - Don't get made, that statement goes for him too.

Joy, I agree completely and it works great for us. I tell him to do the same thing...use me as an excuse...it is just easier. Dawn

Joy Hardie's cat walked across a keyboard and came up with this:

another take on this is that if one has a marriage that is a partnership, you work as a team and not independently. While I'd agree that the phrase "my hubby won't let me" is most likely indicative of control issues, I don't think twice about saying that I need to check with my husband about certain things that I do. I don't hide anything, and I think it's only courteous and respectful to be in communication about what's going on. It's not an issue of him "letting me" do things, or me "letting him" do things... we respect each other's wished for what's acceptable.

That being said, in our house there's a bit of friendly humor about "the wife" "the hubby" or other (imo) silly pet names... I've got bigger things to stress about that, in my life.

Penny S

OH, what I HATE is when they refer to their other as my old man or my old lady....eeeewwww I hate that!

Now that's a man who knows which side of his bread is buttered! Or did you have to train him?

I've been reading everyone's answers and thinking about this issue of pet peeves and how we refer to our spouse. What is said in the house is one thing. What's said outside is another. If there is open communication between partners and pet names within the household, that's great. When someone refers to his wife as "the wife" in a public situation, this NG as an example, I think the phrase shows a lack of respect for your partner. I also think that the woman in question becomes depersonalized. If a woman refers to her husband as my meal ticket, yes I've heard that expression, again it shows lack of respect and depersonalization. The boss, well that depends on how it's said. I usually feel that it's said in jest. In our house we discuss and share decisions, we have pet names and always try to consider the other person's feeling. I do think it's important and I for one become incensed by lack of consideration for partners. JJ

Well, if someone has a hard time saying "no" but can say that, more power to them!

I always told my small fry that any time they don't want to do something some other kids asks them to do but are too chicken/afraid/ashamed/embarrassed whatever to say so, they are welcome to lay the blame on me, and I have also told them that if their bluff is called and they come ask me, they should word it such-and-such a way so that the friend/acquaintance won't see that they are looking for a "no" answer, and I will be glad to confirm it for them. It always worked like a charm.