OT; PET PEEVES

I live in Virginia, USA. And in the south, with some men, those words seem to go along with the southern accents and breathing. And yes, when the "right" guy says it the "right way" ............. but most guys don't have that right of familiarity. And the last guy worked for me! And I was probably older than his mother! So, as a good Yankee mother I felt obliged to set him on the path of righteousness.

In all fairness, I also hate it when a woman calls me hon, sweetie, dearie. My birth certificate doesn't show those names anywhere.

Sharon

In the UK you get badges to stick somewhere visible in the car. As it's the person that's disabled, not the car, these are shiftable from car to car.

The other car peeve I have is blokes (it's usually young blokes!) on their own parking in the slots with wider bays marked for people with small kids (the sign is a baby buggy).

Sharon, give your daughter a hug from me - it's a pig, innit! Mind you, I have found that losing 28 lbs has helped! Just another 42 to go to reach my goal weight! As I have to be careful about the exercise I do (nothing to stress the attachment points, so walking rather than jogging or running, no weights, swimming [I'd love to, but the local pool is 'orrible!], nothing too strenuous!), my loss is slower than I would like! It was chucking down rain when I wanted to go to the Post Office today, so that was a car trip rather than a walk, as was collecting James from school! I miss my walks on days I don't get them! :(

All I know is that when a sports vehicle (or other) pulls into a "handicapped" parking spot and a perky person pops out....with no obvious physical limitations, the obvious assumption would be that it is a "mental" handicap. I am generally referring to cars with no special tags or stickers identifying them as "handicapped" . I think those parking spots are intended for persons who have difficulty physically getting from their car to the door of the building. It is intended to provide closer access. I think some people must get special tags on a basis other than physical requirements or they are loaning their cars to friends or family. There just seem like alot of perfectly capable looking people with "handicapped" tags. Joy

Joy Hardie's cat walked across a keyboard and came up with this:

around here, it's supposedly a ticket to park in a designated "handicap" stall without a sticker or tag. That's why I look at the vehicle, not the driver. Not all disabilities are obvious. I guess my pet peeve is those who take a handicap person to the store to get the spot, but leave said person in the car while perfectly able person only has to walk ten feet to the door.

penny s

my pet peeve is:

those looonng cutesie cell phone rings...they drive me batty!

I just have a normal telephone ring set on my cell phone...nice and short.

kristen (and since this will probably result in lots of anti cell phone posts...I need one because my daughter is fatally allergic to peanuts and i need to be reachable at all times...and i take care to put it on vibrate whenever it would be inappropriate to have it ring)

Here's an interesting fact about Downs. Most people know that Downs Syndrome is a common cause of what we used to call "being retarded," but it's not necessarily as cut and dried as all that. I know two people with kids who have Downs. One has what used to be called "Mental Retardation." Her Downs is systemic. She has a low IQ, is lethargic, and has pretty much what you think of when you think "retarded." In photographs the other child looks just as "retarded" as the first, but she has mosaic Downs, where some cells are normal, and some are Downs cells. Her facial features and some aspects of her small muscle coordination are affected, but her intelligence and energy level are normal, healthy, and average, because Downs did not have a great effect on her brain and heart. People who say "Mentally Retarded" will probably treat her like she has a low IQ, and they will probably teach their kids that she has a low IQ, but she is not "Mentally Retarded."

Ideally, politically correct ways of saying things will gradually clear up the sloppy labels like "retarded" and replace them with something more specific and less hurtful.

Xena

I like the dearie thing, from waitresses and otherwise.

I used to know a couple Afghani brothers who were amazed to find that straight American men don't call each other dear. They were calling me dear because I was like one of the family and a little older than them, as in "How are you today, dear?" They call their dad both sir and dear and sometimes both, depending on the occasion. They had their young nephew calling me "madame auntie" because he wasn't old enough to call me dear. Their Afghani roots were from a warrior tribe... somehow I expected them to be more gruff and less flowery in relaxed everyday speech.

Xena

I agree with Penny. Not all handicaps are visible to others, but that does not make a person "less" handicapped, if there is such a thing. I always figure that if someone is abusing the system that the abuser will eventually get what's coming to them. And it is really not my business what their handicap is - I have enough of my own personal problems to deal with. I always figure it is between the driver and his/her medical professional. If the sticker/tag is there, it's none of my business why. I'd rather not know!!

You have spent a lot of typing effort trying to justify the act of denal. You failed. Live that way if you want. Not me.

Here in the Big Easy, service people tend to address everyone, male and female, as "darling", pronounced "dawlin". I just figure it is the local equivalent of the Brit "luv" or duck" I grew up with. No insult, no condescension, it's just the local custom.

Olwyn Mary in New Orleans.

Oh, if only I had thought of that! But he kept his promise. He helped me pack.

I know the feeling, but mine is trying its best to take me out. I work in some tight spaces and have to move equipment around and the pain sometimes is enough to make me lock myself in my office and just sit till I can go back out and finish the job. Other days, I can move like I was still 20.

My permit from back home recently expired and my soon-to-be-ex-doctor here seems to think that fibromyalgia isn't a real ailment, so he won't give me a replacement. I didn't use it all the time, but I sure miss it on the days when every muscle in my body is screaming in agony and it seems that the only spots left in the parking lot are in the "back forty."

I could stand to drop several pounds myself, but I hurt my back at work and what exercise I did before has become impossible and it has aggravated the other problems I was dealing with before. But I live through it because I have to. All of us here with fibro and RA and similar ailments are doing what we have to and seem to be doing well because we won't let it get to us. Sharon, your daughter will be just fine because you won't let her stop fighting. I know people who stopped functioning the minute they were diagnosed-they became "handicapped" in the worst sense of the word (I have a male friend like that. He collects disability and won't even try to do any kind of work. His DP just passed away and now he is really in trouble as he has no one looking after him.) I look at him and know what not to do.

So let's keep sewing and working at our kids' schools and hanging curtains and planting nice little gardens and remember to look at the blue sky every once in a while (you can tell I am getting punch-drunk with lack of sleep).

The waitress in our local breakfast restaurant says her name is "Oh Miss"...

Taffy

Did you give it to Locks of Love? Ask him to drop it off on his way out the door?

Taffy

I know that one! Some mornings I can barely move, others I can gallop up and down the stairs and leap up the loft ladder! I'm always slow to start in the morning... That's why I do the computery stuff then - the brain is awake, but the body still needs oiling!

Ugh! Silly man! Why doesn't he do a little research? Or have you tried finding another doc? The real advantages of fibro over other forms of RA are that you don't end up with distorted joints, so don't lose skeletal articulation, but that means that it's invisible, so a lot of people can't understand what the fuss is about! The bit that bothers me most is when I hurt too much or am too tired to play tickling fights with James, or cuddle up with him. An energetic and solid 9 YO is occasionally just Too Much! :(

Too right! I thought 'Stuff yoo, mate!' when the Occupational Health Dr passed me 'Temporarily fit for light duties' and was MOST reluctant to pass me fit for a whole year, just AFTER I'd signed a one year part time teaching contract! Mind you, it WAS hard going, and I really am NOT fit to be in a classroom full time, so I suppose he was right... ;( HOWEVER, I do still teach, I do still do everything I can, and I feel very lucky that the weight loss has helped significantly - less stress on all those joints! No more weeks and weeks of swollen ankles! I feel a lot better all round, but there are still days like today when crawling back into bed with a handful of painkillers seems like the best option!

Sleep depravation! Oh, I'm so used to that now that if I GET a full night's sleep, I'm high on it! ;) The things I find most difficult to cope with are the depression ( and I was prone enough to that BEFORE the fibro!) and the 'cold flushes', when my blood turns to ice water and I cannot get warm, no matter what!

Here's hoping you ALL a pain free day!

In Fife they call women 'hen'! Always wants to make me cluck! In the NE of England (I was a student in Durham), 'man' is common... Sounded a little funny to me to be addressed as 'Eeee, Kate, Man!'

I've always wished that there was a special dispensation for pregnant women, especially those in their last month, and especially for those who also had little ones to haul around! I know "handicapped" people who can get around better than almost any woman in her ninth month trying to balance a toddler on her hip.

Karen Maslowski in Cincinnati

Olwyn Mary, I just saw that adorable Harry Connick, Jr. on TV telling someone that in New Orleans they called all women "darlin'", and all men "dawg". LOL!

My next-door neighbor is a good ole boy from Arkansas, and he calls every woman, young or old, gorgeous or hag, darlin'. It used to make me squirm, but after living nest to him for 16 years I have finally come to enjoy it.

Karen Maslowski in Cincinnati

I used to transcribe for a fibromyalgia specialist who worked out of University of California and had done research work with some of the most well-known experts in fibromyalgia (he was an absolute CARD to transcribe) and the existence of fibromyalgia is one of those controversial things -- about as controversial as ADD. Many people believe that neither of the two exist because there is not presently an objective way to make a 100% accurate clinical diagnosis.

I had a link somewhere to FMG specialists and how to find them if anybody is interested -- it might have been US-only or might have been international, but I will hunt it up if someone wants it.