OT: another death in family

So sorry for your loss. Hugs Coggie

Noreen,

You will never be isolated, you have many friends.

Two for sure right here.

Our c> Aunt Marie, my Uncle Andy's (rip) wife passed away yesterday, I just got word.

Sorry to hear this, Noreen.

BB

Sorry for your loss, Noreen. Isn't your mom's birthday coming up soon? Ir has it passed?

Higs, Katherine

Sorry Noreen, it is always so sad when we lose a loved one. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Bernadette

Sorry to hear of this Noreen, please accept my condolences

peace love and light

Cher

Katherine spun a FINE 'yarn':

Coggie, Dennis, Bernadette, BB, Mirjam, Katherine, Cher.... Thank you so much. Hugs, Noreen

Oh, no, Noreen! Make it a good celebration!

Higs, Katherine

I agree. Make the most of every minute.

My mother wouldn't have any celebrations, she said she preferred being alone and that an anniversary of any kind was just like any other day. Of course she didn't prefer being alone, she complained that no-one visited her (not true by the way). There was no pleasing her and it made us feel guilty. At least that has now passed.

Enjoy the party!

MAry

How do mothers do that? I really hope that I don't do it to my kids, after all the years of watching my mother do it, too.

Higs, Katherine

Oh, so do I - but your words comfort me, I sometimes thought it must be just me :-(

Mary

Oh no, it definitely isn't just you Mary.

I think our parents were of a generation who thought if they praised you it would give you a swollen head and develop arrogant traits in your character. Thank goodness since then we've learned that encouraging our children works better than constantly slapping them down.

I loved my mother dearly and felt privileged to help nurse her in a geriatric hospital for the final ten days of her life. I also did not like the way she behaved at times nor the hurtful things she often said to me and to others.

Bernadette

Indeed. I felt that I could never do anything right, no matter how hard I tried to please Mum. It began when I chose my darling but poor and unambitious husband instead of a rich boy I'd been engaged to. We're still together after 48 years but it doesn't count ...

You were lucky. I've dearly wanted my mother to come and live here for some years, we'd have made special adaptations to the house, but she wouldn't. She said that when she couldn't manage any longer she'd go into a home. The idea of strangers caring for her was awful, but she wouldn't budge.

When she was taken into hospital, before we went to Scotland I wasn't told, my brother said I had no say in the matter. I'd telephoned her the day before and she said she was fine. My brother's younger than me but he was in control of Mum.

We go to her house tomorrow to take the things she specifically left to me - it reads like a 'Homes Cleared' list - even including buckets :-) Guess who has all the better things? Not that I want anything, we have everything we need and don't want more than we need but it would have been nice for our children and grandchildren to have something special. I'll offer the things we bring home to those of our grandchildren who have their own homes, the rest will go to charities or charity shops.

I'll be glad when it's over ... then I can begin my life again without feeling guilt.

Thanks for your words, Bernadette. Now back to knitting :-)

Mary

Mary, you are definitely not the only one.

BB

Sadly, I think that it is our generation. Keith and I have often talked about this. When our children were younger, we spent our vacations taking them to visit our parents. Now that they are grown up, we spend our vacations visiting them. They can't visit us, either because it costs too much, or because a grandchild is allergic to our pets. Will we ever have our own life?

Higs, Katherine

Katherine i think it has to do with the Shift in trends , It used to be that the older generation was more importnat , and usually had no cars , now grandparents usually Do have a car and the younger generations are more Important .. mirjam

Noreen, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Aunt. She is with her beloved husband again now, though.. so I hope that brings you and the rest of your family some comfort.