Dear Red States:
>
>
> We've decided we're simultaneously leaving. We intend to form our own
> country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you
> aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, California, Oregon, Washington,
> Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, New York, and all of the
> Northeastern states. After this election, we'll be adding Colorado and New
> Mexico. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, especially
> to the people of our new country - Nuevo California.
>
>
>
> To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states; we
> get stem cell research, the best beaches, and the best ski resorts. We get
> the Statue of Liberty; you get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft; you
> get WorldCom. We get Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Cal Tech, MIT and
> Columbia; you get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture
> capital and entrepreneurs; you get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax
> revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
>
>
>
> Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than that of the
> Christian Coalition, we get a bunch of happy families and you get a bunch
> of under-educated single moms.
>
>
>
> Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and
> we'll need all of our citizens back from Iraq at once.
>
>
>
> If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They apparently have
> kids they're willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they
> don't mind if you don't televise their kid's caskets coming home. We do
> wish you success in Iraq and hope that those Weapons of Mass Destruction
> turn up for you, but we're not willing to spend any more of our money in
> Bush's Quagmire.
>
>
>
> With the Blue States, we will control 80 percent of the country's fresh
> water,90 percent of pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's
> fresh fruit, 97percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French
> wines at your state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the
> high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
> sequoias and condors, and all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools. We
> also get New England, the Great Lakes and Yosemite, thank you very much. > >
>
> In the Red States, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese
> Americans and their projected health care costs, 92 percent of all U.S.
> mosquitoes, 100 percent of tornadoes, 94 percent of hurricanes, 99 percent
> of Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, and
> Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bob Jones University, and Clemson.
>
>
>
> Additionally, in the Red States, 38 percent actually believe Jonah was
> swallowed by a whale; 62 percent believe life is sacred unless it involves
> the death penalty or gun ownership; 44 percent claim that evolution is
> only a theory; 53 percent insist that Saddam Hussein was involved in 9/11;
> and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you have higher moral
> standards than those of us on the left.
>
>
>
> By the way, we're taking all the good pot, too. You get that dirt weed
> from Mexico and Kansas ditches.
>
>
>
> Peace out,
>
> The Blue States
>
>
> --
> Karen C - California
Offensive as HELL, especially the paragraph about happy families vs. "under-educated single moms" as if they are mutually exclusive. If espousing spew like this comes with blue state residency, then I'm moving. Count me out of your "new country".
Jinx