I am sure MeSue was in a local guild, or if she wasn't I am sure the local one would be more than willing to finish up Sue's quilts. Also, someone in that area must be a Blanketeer from Linus, in charge or a member who could finish the quilts, even long arm, These two groups here in Florida are big enough and willing to do such things. He might check the JoAnnes, they usually have information about the local Linus group, including names addresses and phone numbers. Kay
I'm assuming you meant our meSue, who passed? It's so strange that I see this post today, as I've been thinking of her and The Queen and wondering just how The Queen and her dad are coping without MeSue. A special woman who's left a rather large part of my heart missing.
Yes Sue Stuyvesant was MeSue in the NG. At the time of her death I was thinking about the unfairness of life. but it wasn't the time to mention it, Now I can say how I felt. She had a very difficult life, caring for the Queen 24/7, and I hoped that in a few years the Queens health difficulties would take her, and MeSue would have a few years without the constant and increasing responsibilities and difficulties. But instead Jeff's family was destroyed, the Queen had to be put into a home, and Jeff is left alone. How unhappy the way it turned out. Kay
Completely and absolutely heartbreaking all the way around. We all miss her so much. What an amazing, wonderful, loving woman MeSue was- so full of grace..... I'll always remember her.
In Sue's posts, not once did she complain about being Michelle's mom. =20
She complained about the doctors, the schools, etc. In fact, it came across to me that Sue felt was 'gifted' to be Michelle's mom.
How can you say Jeff's family was destroyed or that he is now so alone? They both had strong family ties, as well as religious ties, from what I've read. Have you personally asked him this? While I'm sure he'd give anything to have Sue back, I doubt he feels his family 'was destroyed' because of a sick little girl who happened to have a very devoted mother.
Just my 2 cents.
-Irene
-------------- You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.=20
Yes, it was so very heartbreaking the way it turned out but to wish that the Queen should have passed before MeSue is just as heartbreaking to me. How can you wish a child dead no matter how ..... I can't think of the right words.....difficult her life or how complex her care needs may be. Mothers, when they bring their children into this world, do so with the knowledge or instinct, that they are to be loved, protected, cared for and cherished no matter their personalities, limits, physical or mental capabilities.
I was not privileged enough to know MeSue as well as some but I'm sure that she would be shattered to hear you speak this way. The love she had for the Queen, the protectiveness, the way she fought for the Queen, she was like a lionness with her cub - she did not give up. I believe if she could have, MeSue would still have been here today, fighting for and loving the Queen. She was an aquaintance to some, a friend to many and an inspiration to so many more.
Yes it would have been nice for MeSue to have had some time at rest before she passed but I feel that if she could have chosen peace or a few more precious minutes with the Queen, she would have chosen the latter.
Yes, Jeff's life has changed. He has lost his wife, his partner, part of his heart. But he will heal, just as we will. And he still has the Queen. The living arrangements may be different but that is no reason to say his family was destroyed. Be honest, MeSue had the patience of a saint, not many of us do. Jeff is working and doing his best to support the Queen and he has done what he feels is right.
Let me leave you with something to ponder - if the Queen had passed before MeSue, and then MeSue passed - wouldn't Jeff's life be even harder and more devastating?
Rest easy MeSue, we will all watch out for the Queen and Jeff.
I don't want to offend anyone here, but I since I spent more real face-to-face time with Sue than anyone else who has posted here (excepting Jayne/Giraffe, if she's still lurking here), I feel I owe it to her to clear up a few things that are being said. Sue would be winding herself up into a high state of irritation at some of these comments (and probably even at my post, too!)
Sue would have happily torn into anyone that suggested she had a more difficult life than others had. She would have become downright apoplectic at the merest suggestion that Michelle should not live to adulthood. She truly meant it when she said Michelle was the best thing that had ever happened to her -- she wasn't just mouthing sentimental garbage. She did not feel she had a particularly difficult life, and in truth she was able to take care of herself and preserve her own sanity very well. (She often said to me that she thought it was easier to be mother to Michelle than it would be of a "normal," rebellious teenager.) She knew how to work the system -- how to get "free" nursing care and other help from social services -- so that she could have a life away from Michelle. She understood how important it was for her to keep her own life going, just so she could continue to take care of Michelle and Jeff. Michelle was by far the most important part of her life, but she wasn't the only part.
And if Sue ever heard anybody describing her as being more than human -- as having the patience of the saint, or doing extraordinary things in terms of taking care of Michelle -- she would have been just as aggravated, and just as offended. And the truth is she _didn't_ have the patience of the saint. (Nor did she have religious faith to sustain her; she was most emphatically NOT a Christian.)
What made Sue so wonderful, and makes me miss her so much, was that she was simply human in the best possible sense. She let in all the emotions you would have in her situation
-- she felt (and expressed) exhaustion, impatience, despair, irritation, you name it. She was a control freak, a talk-o-holic, a bit of a mess-o-holic ...
She was fully and fabulously human. She faced even the worst times -- all those times when Michelle went into Children's and the doctors said she wouldn't come out -- with humor and grace. She was intelligent and funny and empathetic and remarkably observant; she was great company, and she didn't take s**t off of anybody. I'd be proud if I could have developed an ounce of the courage she had.
It makes me sad to hear comments that kind of put her on a pedestal and make her out to be some sort of saintly mother figure who bore these incredible burdens in life. The truth and reality was so very, very much more -- she was so much more than that. She took the situation that life had given her, and she made the best of it -- and the "best" was a good life, not a life to be pitied. She really taught me that it's not the nature of the problems you live with, it's how you face them, that counts.
I was proud to call her my friend, and I really miss her.
Karen Harm>Yes Sue Stuyvesant was MeSue in the NG. At the time of her death I was
Never, in my wildest dreams, would I think that MeSue would become a "hot topic" on this ng! Karen, your words are so well said and from the heart, I thank you for your thoughts and sharing - for showing how much MeSue cared (and in my opinion still cares) for Michelle!! I don't know that any of us can put ourselves in MeSue's shoes - or anyone else's and make decisions for them...but as Kay has done - we *can* wish for them some things that we see as good and desired, things that *we* see as something they should have, need or want - whether they want or need them. Not one of us can actually know what MeSue wanted - we can all probably guess that she truly did not want to die so young, that she wanted more time with her beloved Michelle and wonderful Jeff!! Instead of looking at what *should* have happened, let's look at what did, accept it and learn from it - take time to be with *our* families and friends, take care of ourselves and live life to its fullest. After all, I think we can also guess that MeSue would be cheering us all on to do that as well.
Sue > I don't want to offend anyone here, but I since I spent more
Very eloquently put. I did not know MeSue in person, only from the NG. I hope she is resting in peace and I am glad to know that the Queen is doing well too. I also hope that Jeff can move forward and have a good life too. Linda inTx
Her complete lack of any form of self-pity was inspirational, and the legacy in my life of Sue's joie-de-vie, which shone out from her postings here, was that I have never, since knowing her, expressed delight that a baby is born "healthy", as if that was all that mattered. (You know, that hackneyed and clichéd conversation which goes along the lines of "It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's healthy").
David and I just re-watched the film "Pleasantville" the other night. There's a wonderful scene at the end where the mother is crying about the state her life is in, and says, "This isn't the way it was supposed to be." And Toby Maguire gets the wonderful line in response: "It's not supposed to _be_ anything."
There are times I wish we could delete the word (and concept) of "normal" from our language ... I think more unhappiness is caused by these unconscious comparisons of what we're "supposed" to have and be, then by anything we're given ...
And having said that, I'm supposed to have a clean apartment and laundry -- so I'm off to meet today's expectations! :-)
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