Firehouse Angel Framing Finale

My favorite sentiments: "One never knows Gods plan." or, "God has his reasons." or, "They'll soon be in a better place."

The living can't let go for many reasons.

Oregon, on the west coast, has euthanasia laws, now. Me thinks I'll retire there. :~)

Dianne

We're all dying, from the day we're born.

Glad to hear it - but no-one said you were! ;-))

Pat P

They'd let go a damn sight sooner if they knew their family was going to get the bill.

I've seen far too many cases where a family was told there was no hope and they ran up a bill in the multi-millions keeping Grandpa alive; they knew Medicare/Medicaid would pay it. Tell them the family is responsible for the bill, you're going to take their houses, cars and college funds, that plug would get pulled with no excuses about being unable to let go.

California is chronically short of money for education, kids do without medical care because their parents can't afford hundreds of dollars a month for dependent coverage -- that would be a much better use for the money than keeping a mangled body "alive" with machines for every function.

Like Sheena, not only have I made it clear that the plug will be pulled at the earliest opportunity, but I have also made it clear that I will come back to haunt anyone who doesn't honor my wishes to do so.

My Mom passed away at 89 years last fall after a stroke. She collapsed at home, and when she got to hospital they did a scan and found massive haemoraghing. (At that point she was already gone, but it's amazing how the body fights on.) I was the first family member at the hospital, and he emergency room Doctor came to me as I stood by the bed holding her hand. He said we'd have to make some decisions (I think he was worried that we might not understand how severe it was) - I simply said that Mom had already made all the decisions - she had been very, very clear in her wishes as far as rescusitation. We waited until my sister, brother, the grandkids and daughter and son-in-law got there to say goodbye, and then all the tubes and supports were removed.

She lingered for four days in a vegetative state, as the body simply slipped away, but she was never in any pain. It gave us all (including some very close friends) a chance to sit by her side. We were able to come to terms, and make all the necessary arrangements. It helps that both my sister and sister-in-law are nurses, since at one point we came back to find Mom had been put back on oxygen, since "she was having trouble breathing". Once the Doctor on the ward realized that we were all fully aware of what was happening, and were in total agreement,there were no more well-intentioned interventions.

And yes - Mom had made sure that her medical power of attorney was very specific - she had seen two of her sisters be incapacitated with strokes, and it was the one thing she dreaded.

Marg

Ah, the rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated....

What an understanding experience at a bad time. I had a ghastly experience with a prolife doctor when my husband died. That's why my elder daughter has my medical P of A, not taking any chances, nor do I wish them to have to fight for my rights at that time.

Whatever happened to people growing old and dying without being mucked about ? It should be even more possible these days with all the pain relief available.

Nope. I've seen lots of cases where the family did get the bill, but they still held on.

Don't think so. Medicare/Medicaid kicks in in far fewer cases than one would imagine. I know that my father paid for more of my mother's care out of pocket than was covered by those programs. He told us he was going to spend our inheritance and we told him it was his money to spend as he saw fit.

But pulling a plug would not have put my mother out of her misery, so he really had no choice but to keep her as comfortable as he could for as long as he could.

Elizabeth

You are so full of crap Victoria - you've been looking for attention since all this started - well you're getting attention okay, but probably not the kind you thought you'd get. People on this ng would go to hell and beyond to help one another - and you know that - but you're just such a negative controlling person that you can't even use your illness for an excuse any longer for your stinking behaviour. Just what the hell is your problem? If you don't like this ng, go away

- nobody is forcing you to read or listen - you just like to jump in now and again and stir the pot, which you're quite successul at - but you know what? I think you're boring and so bloody predictable now that you're almost funny. (is funny a synonym for pathetic???) And I know you don't give a sweet whit what I think - and you know something else??? I don't care!

Sharon (N.B.)

Shall I go back and quote your response to Pat P's very KIND post giving you credit for coming up with the whole Firehouse Angel project? YOU started the negativity in response to statements of fact from others. Dianne did make a comment about "dire consequences" -- her words as a response to you threatening her with legal action -- but YOU are the one who started this round of negativity. It seems obvious to me that you don't have the emotional support you seem to need to deal with your life. Your posts are negative, mean spirited, cruel and over-burdened with foul language -- none of which are signs of a person who is dealing with life's mental, emotional and medical challenges in a positive, productive manner. Nor, I imagine are those things the way someone who professes to be studying to be a Buddhist would behave. I'm not sure what sort of a "world" you live in but for most of us, we could all benefit from more support if we were dealing with the health issues you have posted about in this forum. I'm not sure why you always think I am trying to get in a "dig" or trying to control you or anyone else here. Unless, of course, you imagine I am because that's the way you deal with things and you assume everyone else behaves like you. I find it rather ironic that you accuse me of doing all sorts of horrid things but you are the one who is always angry and yelling and cursing!

I am a firm believer that just because the medical profession CAN do something to keep a person alive, doesn't mean they SHOULD do it! I'm also convinced that they believe if they don't do every single little thing that can possibly come to mind to keep some poor person alive (at all costs), they are afraid the family will take them to court and sue their butts off!

PAX, Tia Mary >^;;^< (RCTQ Queen of Kitties) Angels can't show their wings on earth but nothing was ever said about their whiskers! Visit my Photo albums at

Vic,

I plead guilty to trying to explain why they might want to cut you some slack. I'm sorry that they are now using it as another weapon to attack you with.

Offlist, when we email, you have been nothing but kind to me. Even with your own physical problems, when I ask for support you give it to me.

If the sugar-coated bitches don't want to see that side of you, that is entirely their problem.

I hope to the gods that you will come thru this most recent bout ok!

Caryn

You could move to Holland or Switerland , in both countries it is legal practice. mirjam

snipped-for-privacy@actcom.co.il (Mirjam Bruck-Cohen),in rec.crafts.textiles.needleworkwrote: and entertained us with

No, that is too simplistic, it is better to stay here and endeavour to have the law changed.

Just a word of advice here: With the new HIPAA provisions in the US, be sure your POA permits your attorney in fact access to your medical records. There have been cases where doctors would not share the information because the patient had not waived the HIPAA rights with regards to their family members (particularly if the family member was not the spouse - in other words, your child). In fact, some have even gone to court and the court has ruled that the AIF doesn't have right to the information. Makes it hard to make some decisions if you can't get access to the medical information!

I work for an attorney and we now have language in all of our POAs specifically waiving HIPAA rights as to the attorney in fact.

Pain relief isn't what it's cracked up to be. The side effects are horrendous. It's awful watching someone go through those side effects then get medicated for the side effects, then get more reactions to that medication. It's a vicious circle....

Linda (who has been there, done that, and doesn't want to do it again)

Oh, wow! That may vary by state, but it is something we will add to ours if it's not already there!! Thank you so very much for posting this information.

Dianne

lewmew wrote:

My father went through this. It's awful. Dianne